Game Creation > Completed Games and Demos
Shyouzen Vs The Retards
Captain Obvious:
Engine: RPG Maker 2003
Version: 1.0
Download links:
(NORMAL EDITION) http://www.mediafire.com/?e0p06pzzptflwft
(HARD MODE EDITION) http://www.mediafire.com/?we4uzdc5fx4nuyd
Premise/summary:
You are Shyouzen, a cute white fluffy dragon who also happen to be the Avatar of Death. Someday, you awakened to find yourself in a place that was definitely not your homeworld. A prison world, a world with questionnable physics... the World of Annoyance. Alongside with the other characters trapped within, you shall make your escape from this place or die trying.
---
Shyouzen Vs The Retards was an entry for the 'Crappy Games Reviews' done with the purpose of being a parody of bad game design that was actually funny and actually enjoyable to play. As such, I have sunk effort into trying to give it proper gameplay mechanics and a sense of humor that, although still mocking bad video game design, rely on more than annoying the player in hopes of amusing video watchers via the reviewer freaking out. As per the request of the reviewer and some of the people who commented on the videos, the game is now available for all to experience.
Screenshots / presentation:
Prepare yourselves for a game unlike anything you have ever experienced!
Explore a deep, complex world filled with fascinating NPCs!
Solve perplexing puzzles and overcome fiendish traps!
Annihilate your foes with devastating special attacks!
Enlist the help of over 12 unique Helpers with their own special strengths and weaknesses!
---
Q. Karma? Where did Wario and Red Shirt go? Why was this Inspector Gadget guy put into my party? Blue save points are useless! Why can't I buy items from red save points?
A. Before you start the game, it asks you to read the 'Enclosed Instruction Book'. This is not just a joke ; read it.
Q. My attacks are doing very little damage! This sucks!
A. There is no limitations to using moves other than Armageddon so experiment. If your attacks do less than 150 damage, you're using the wrong attack.
Q. Why can't I run from battles? This sucks!
A. Partly because you need Shinies (currency) to buy healing items, which are required for boss fights. And also partly to prevent players whose first instinct is to select 'escape' in battles from missing out on the battle-related jokes.
Q. I can't defeat *insert boss*! Help!
A. First, make sure you have bought items. Second, if your current Helper line-up receive loads of damage and deal little to none, don't waste items keeping them alive and wait for better ones to be switched in ; keep Shyouzen alive above all other characters. Also, experiment with moves to find which ones do the most damage (likewise, remember that many bosses are vulnerable to the status effects caused by Necromantic Burn). Finally, if all else fail, you got the move Armageddon for a reason.
Q. *insert section* is retarded! How am I expected to beat this?!?
A. Talk to the 'furfag' NPCs. For the cost of 10 of your max karma (and your title being appropriately renamed), you will enable a shortcut to the next level.
Q. How am I expected to beat the game with 10 max Karma? Geez!
A. Don't abuse the skip function and the Armageddon technique. They're meant to ease the playthrough, not allow one to become lazy and complacent.
Q. Hard mode edition? What the heck is that? What does it do?
A. The Hard Mode edition is a special edition of the game that I created for those seeking a true, serious challenge. It edit the game tremendously to make it more difficult, making enemy encounters more frequent and far more brutal, with enemies who will fight much more intelligently. Likewise, Helpers are less reliable and the general accuracy of special moves is reduced. The palette of every level and every enemy in the game is changed accordingly. If you reach the end of this version, you will fight a new final boss not encountered in the normal edition of the game after the regular final storyline boss has been defeated.
PROGUY:
The screenshot with the Necromantic Bolt is hilarious.
TyDrace:
Got an error when trying to start it. Game looks awful though, so I'm quite glad about it.
Obvious Sock Account:
--- Quote ---hu·mor/ˈ(h)yo͞omər/
Noun:
The quality of being amusing or comic, esp. as expressed in literature or speech.
--- End quote ---
I'm tempted to end there, but that's nothing we don't know already. No one finds this funny. No one who's opinions on comedy should ever and in a better world would ever be valued by society. In the 1980's the Soviets used **** like this as propaganda, to prove that the Capitalist world was self-destructively shameless and decadent and utterly dead inside. To begin I'd like to state that I only lasted as long as I did - which wasn't very; 2-2, specifically - because I had a friend in my ear over Skype to attempt to make the game palatable, considering we couldn't claw our way through even a third of the gameplay before we decided '**** it' to this nonsense. Second, when that failed us, in my desperation to alleviate boredom I pulled the J and F keys out of my keyboard. We had a longer laugh at that (Which amounted to a few "hah"s, by the way.) than anything featured in the game.
He'd say differently, I'm sure, he'd say the fact that the gameplay was shite, and God was it, should be a first authority but I beg to differ. When damaging hardware with the express purpose of passing time overtakes your standards of comedy by a significant margin, you've failed as a comedian. If you don't believe me give yourself five years. Give yourself three. Give yourself six ****ing months and you tell me if you can reread what you're going to have to deal with knowing that YOU are responsible for - all this bullshit about buttfucking furries and hur hur dur fursecution lol so edgy - for the rest of your God damn life, and you tell me that you don't cringe at the thought. If you can tell me that with a straight face then we've proven one thing for certain: There's no hope for you.
As for gameplay, I think my thoughts on gameplay can begin and end with the fact that my friend and I had the exact same experience, sans about four button clicks a minute. Your party is entirely non-interactive, which only exacerbates the fact that on they're irreconcilably useless, with or without your intervention. The game was physically painful to look at, RPGmaker games tend to be it's a problem that pervades even the ones I like (All .45 of them.), but this case is different in that it's proud of the fact. Yeah, the cute, smug self awareness that the game is nauseating to see is a lot more amusing on paper than in practice, I like to imagine if you gave the game a second look - ofcourse, I'm a bit of a shameless lover of humanity as a species, so you must account for my bias, but I like to imagine if you gave the game even a first look you'd have realized your mistake and burnt the damn thing - you'd have figured that out on your own. There's something infuriating about the way it revels in its own stupidity. Frankly it feels like you knew that no one in good health could conceivably think this funny, and you just wanted to test just how much **** this site would tolerate with a smile and a thank-you-sir-may-I-have-another-sir before even they'd gotten sick of it.
SaiKar:
I will eat my own hat if we ever get a completed game that isn't some sort of parody.
Navigation
[0] Message Index
[#] Next page
Go to full version