Charas-Project
Off-Topic => All of all! => Topic started by: Goatulon on August 29, 2005, 04:13:45 AM
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This may have been done before. But I dont remember seeing it around. Anyway, I'm making a book with a bunch of poetry, short stories, maybe even some artwork as well. An artistic smorgesborg (however that word is spelled.) Anyway, theres no restrictions on the story type except that it probably shouldnt be an *ahem* adult story. You know what I mean. Anyways, if you're interested then just pm me your story poem or artwork, post it here, or e-mail me pirate_jorbangr@hotmail.com. Yeah later days y'all.
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Hey, that´s cool dude! Send me a copy of it when you got it finished!
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A friend of mine made one, once, when he was about 16, all about poetry, and his friend made the cover for the book, it was damn good for two amateurs.
Anyway, send me a copy, as well, and I'm not asking.
EDIT: Almeidaboo, how do you make your avatar BG be the same color as the forum? Mine aways shows white!
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Originally posted by Grandy
A friend of mine made one, once, when he was about 16, all about poetry, and his friend made the cover for the book, it was damn good for two amateurs.
Anyway, send me a copy, as well, and I'm not asking.
EDIT: Almeidaboo, how do you make your avatar BG be the same color as the forum? Mine aways shows white!
Dunno man, I didn´t do a thing...Actually, now that you put Riou there, I´m thinking of changing mine to Tir McDohl, so that I can be stronger than you :D :D :D
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Originally posted by Grandy
A friend of mine made one, once, when he was about 16, all about poetry, and his friend made the cover for the book, it was damn good for two amateurs.
Anyway, send me a copy, as well, and I'm not asking.
EDIT: Almeidaboo, how do you make your avatar BG be the same color as the forum? Mine aways shows white!
Save it as a gif with the bg white..
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I published a book once, it's really fun when you publish it.
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Hmm, I wrote a 15 or 20 page story about an assassination once... I'll just have to find it buried in some hard drive somewhere...
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I plan to do that some time... a collection of short stories by me.. but not really anytime soon..
The most I've written is a 9 page intro to an original story but I got lazy on it. Plus I worte it when I was younger, and now my writing skills are better. I plan to come back to it, eventually...
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I know how that goes, I write a helluva lot of poetry these days. Plus I've done a few short stories. All that and I'm a photographer at times. So yeah I've got some stuff going for it, hopefully you guys can throw some stuff my way. You all rock my socks in a non-sexual way.
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That's pretty nifty. I'm trying to be an author (at least as a hobby), and I've been taking a notebook to school to jot down ideas and stuff and make an introduction, since everything flows after that.
I wish you luck though and have fun doing it.
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Okay guys this is pretty much my flagship short story at the moment. I made it a few days ago. So I guess I'll post it here. Any comments are welcome:
Grey Day
By:
Tom Parkin
Another day and Lee was locked up inside, the rain outside his window falling down to the ground. Pushing his nose against the window he thought about all the things his life had brought him. He felt his stomach begin to knot, he closed his eyes, and his brain kicked into motion. Lee was outside again staring at his house. There he was, walking down the path with a smile on his face, his green eyes twinkling with joy. Lee remembered this day perfectly well, though secretly he wished he wouldn’t.
Lee reached his car and opened the door checking his hair in the side view mirror as he got in. Lee started the car turned on the radio and started driving. As the music came through the speakers Lee was remembering what was going through his head at that time, thoughts of love and a girl. It was a blissful drive where everything seemed so perfect, the world spun a little slower, the sun shined a little brighter, and the flowers smelled just a little bit sweeter. His thoughts were still focused on the girl, a girl named Erica. The only girl he could remember having feelings for, and she seemed to love him back. Sometimes life is better than any fairy tale he thought to himself.
He finally arrived at the red brick house where for Lee, the world seemed to begin and end. Strolling up to the door he stood for a second, taking everything in. His finger pushed in the doorbell, it was one of the sweetest sounds he had ever heard. A few seconds later he found the door swinging wide, and there she stood, his angel, the girl he loved, the very model of beauty. He stood there, his mouth wide open for a few seconds until he finally collected himself. He managed to sputter out a “Hello.” Erica smiled and Lee began to feel better, “Shall we go?” he asked feeling calmer by the minute. “Of course,” Erica said stepping forward and grabbing Lee’s hand. Lee’s body tensed, but he pushed his fingers around her hand and walked with her to his car. He opened the door for her and she got in. He walked around and together they drove to the park. The drive was undoubtedly the most wonderful time in Lee’s life up to that point. When they arrived they got out and grabbed a pack filled with food that Lee had loaded into his car before picking Erica up.
Together they walked and talked about anything and everything until they found a shaded spot to eat under. They ate slowly, sitting close together, holding hands, all those other things couples sometimes do. They finished their food and sat watching the sun set in each others arms. The sun finally set and Erica had fallen asleep laying next to Lee. Lee leaned down picked Erica up, and carried her to the car. He placed her gently down on the back seat bending down and softly kissing her forehead he drove he back to her house. Lee drove in silence, thinking about all the things that he and Erica would do together, they’d be together forever. He parked in Erica’s driveway knocked on the door, Erica’s mother answered and she held the door open as Lee carried Erica through into her room. He lay her down on her bed and put a blanket over her. He smiled warmly at her while she slept and with that he got up and headed back to his own house.
The next day Lee called Erica’s house but she wasn’t home so he just assumed she was busy that day. He called the day after and she wasn’t home again. He continued with this for about a 4 more days, until one day she picked up the phone “Hi Erica, It’s Lee,” he said. After that, all he heard was a click and the sound of silence. He thought something must be going on. But he had some errands to run before hand. Lee drove into town, driving down the road into town he saw what looked like Erica and another guy. They hadn’t seen him, so he stopped. Lee noticed Erica was holding the other guys hand. Lee began to wonder what was going on, this other guy turned toward Lee’s angel, and Erica turned towards the other guy. The pair stood staring into each others eyes, until their heads started moving closer together, before Lee knew what was going on the pairs lips had locked together. Lee stared in amazement, he thought he must surely have been seeing things. No this was real, all too real. Lee turned around and headed home. Lee went to his room and simply lay on his bed, watching the ceiling, all the while tears ran down his face and blurred his eyes.
Lee called Erica’s phone number one more time, Erica answered again. “Erica who was that other guy?” Lee asked into the phone softly, he felt like he should be yelling but he didn’t feel like he had the energy. There was a pause “What other guy?” Erica asked. Lee somehow found his voice “THE ONE I SAW YOU KISSING WITH EARLIER TODAY, I THOUGHT WE HAD SOMETHING, I THOUGHT YOU CARED ABOUT ME!” Lee yelled. “That man is twice the person you are, you just aren’t good enough for me and if I never see you again it’ll be too soon.” Erica replied into the phone and with that she hung up. Lee stood for a moment, staring into space thinking that this surely could not have just happened, but it had, and he knew it. Lee broke down completely, his tears became a stream of water as they washed down his face. Lee wanted to scream, Lee knelt down to the floor and placed his face in his hands and tried to wipe away the tears from his eyes.
Lee thought to himself “Never see me again, if she doesn’t want to see me, then whats the point in life?” Lee walked to the bathroom, he filled the tub with water, not even bothering to take off his clothes he stepped in and lay down. Slowly he sank down, down into what he intended to be his grave. He held his head under water and slowly, ever so slowly gave up hope. Lee blacked out, sure with his last thoughts that he had done the right thing. The next thing Lee knew he was lying in a white room. So this is heaven he thought, rolling over and his vision getting gradually less blurry, he noticed that he was lying on a bed. Rolling over again he saw a man standing over him. “He’s coming round Dave,” the man called. Lee was in the hospital, a neighbor had heard a scream earlier and had come to see what was wrong. The neighbor called 911 and proceeded to give CPR to Lee. Lee was still alive.
Snapping back to reality Lee opened his eyes. He was crying again, he wanted to wipe his eyes, but he couldn’t move his arms, the straightjacket saw to that. Lee stared at the rain falling down outside the Rove Mental Health Institute, still wishing he was dead, and still thinking about how life and love had screwed him over.
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Sounds awesome, I like it.
I'm hoping to make a book of my own one day.
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*Standing ovation* It is awesome! Congratulations, dude!!!!
The descriptions are just perfect, and the way you describe feelings it's just great.
Again I salute such a nice job, from a writer to another.
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The story was kinda... hmm. it sure is simple for a short story. Plus it just didnt capture me. No one cares about a goddamn high-school love that ends tragically, and no one gets put in a mental institute from attempted suicide, especially in cases such as that. Unless he was mentally evaluated and decided that, by a court of law, that he was mentally insane. The odds are unlikely...
Grammer-wise, it was ok, but there were 9 instances of sentances ending with prepositions that I found. Some of the wording also could have been better.
I'm not saying it was bad, you definatly have talent, but if was a reviewer for a publishing company, I would not publish this story.
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Thanks for the comments guys. And Asukara buddy thanks, it may be the flagship story, but by that I just mean its my first. I'm still messing around with ideas and just kinda writing whatever comes into my head, ya know?
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Watching the reality around ya is a great influence when you write. I'm onto writing poems (Well, they work more like lyrics for songs) using the seven Capital Sins as inspiration.
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Thats cool kinslayer, maybe you could throw some my way and I'll put em in this book. Which is still open if anyone wants to submit anything, I promise you'll all be given credit for your work, a place in my thank you's. and maybe a cut of the profits, though I have severe doubts about there being profits. BUT IF THERE ARE then yeah you know how it goes. Later y'all.