Charas-Project

Off-Topic => All of all! => Topic started by: shinotebasiiackh on March 20, 2006, 09:38:35 PM

Title: FREEZE! You're under erect!
Post by: shinotebasiiackh on March 20, 2006, 09:38:35 PM

http://www.suntimes.com/output/news/cst-nws-ouch17.html (http://www.suntimes.com/output/news/cst-nws-ouch17.html)

...Wow.

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Before cops threw the book at him, Jakub Fik threw something unusual at them -- his penis.

Fik, 33, cut off his own penis during a Northwest Side rampage Wednesday morning. When confronted by police, Fik hurled several knives and his severed organ at the officers, police said. Officers stunned him with a Taser and took him into custody.

"We took him out without any serious injury, with the exception of his own," said Chicago Police Sgt. Edward Dolan of the 16th District.

Doctors at Northwestern Memorial Hospital reattached Fik's penis Wednesday, sources said. He was listed in good condition Thursday, according to hospital spokesman Andrew Buchanan, who declined to comment further.

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Post by: Grandy on March 20, 2006, 09:42:15 PM

 0.o GOD what was that!?

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Post by: coasterkrazy on March 20, 2006, 09:46:10 PM

OMG! I heard that on the radio show this morning on the bus! Yeah, that's a really weird story... I don't have much else of a comment.

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Post by: MSlash67 on March 20, 2006, 10:15:10 PM

one thought here: WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU CUT YOUR WANG OFF!?!??!

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Post by: Desimodontidae on March 20, 2006, 10:17:59 PM

Wow......


wow.

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Post by: Grandy on March 20, 2006, 10:20:12 PM

Quote

Originally posted by MSlash67
one thought here: WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU CUT YOUR WANG OFF!?!??!

 I think he did that so he'd get famous, we all would be surprised by how stupid can this kind of person be.

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Post by: Ruler of the Dark on March 20, 2006, 10:30:41 PM

"Hmmm... I don't have anything else to throw at the cops, I know! My penis!"

Seriously now, I don't see the logic in this.  Heck, why not something we have 10 (or 8, whatever you prefer) of, fingers!  Though I guess it depends how big this guy was.  Something heavy enough could be a decent weapon, right?

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Post by: charaman on March 20, 2006, 10:34:37 PM

I'd do it.

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Post by: MrMister on March 20, 2006, 10:47:55 PM

There is a surprisingly large eunic internet community.
Horrible. What did he think it would do when it hit a cop? Explode?

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Post by: shinotebasiiackh on March 20, 2006, 10:56:11 PM

I dunno. It's worth investigation, though.

Donate to fund the national penis impact association!

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Post by: Snake Eater on March 20, 2006, 11:16:12 PM

Wow....

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Post by: Kinslayer on March 20, 2006, 11:38:44 PM

Well, I heard some strange stuff on a news channel from here. Too bad that they're in spanish and most of you guys won't understand a thing, but some are:

"Transvestite offers to implant his virgin penis on the cop who castrated him".

"American mutilates his penis trying to sexually penetrate a vacuum cleaner".

"Mad transvestite attacks his couple" (Right after that) "He was armed with a high caliber weapon".

And more.

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Post by: Rowan on March 20, 2006, 11:43:12 PM

Quote

Originally posted by Kinslayer
"American mutilates his penis trying to sexually penetrate a vacuum cleaner".

I remember hearing about that in school. Apparently some old guy thought it would be sexy to clean the house naked as a wedding anniversary gift for his wife. It turned out as he was vacuuming the floor while he was naked he decided to switch to to the hose part of the vacuum and got his weiner stuck in the hose socket close to where the fan was.. Happy Anniversary Darlin'!

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Post by: FFL2and3rocks on March 20, 2006, 11:46:00 PM

One word:

o_0

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Post by: rush_fan on March 20, 2006, 11:50:28 PM

Yep. I think I'll keep mine right where it is....

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Post by: charaman on March 20, 2006, 11:54:14 PM

http://www.chuckpalahniuk.net/books/haunted/guts.php   reminds of the last part of this story.

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Post by: shinotebasiiackh on March 20, 2006, 11:54:31 PM

Quote

Originally posted by Rowan

quote:

Originally posted by Kinslayer "American mutilates his penis trying to sexually penetrate a vacuum cleaner".

I remember hearing about that in school. Apparently some old guy thought it would be sexy to clean the house naked as a wedding anniversary gift for his wife. It turned out as he was vacuuming the floor while he was naked he decided to switch to to the hose part of the vacuum and got his weiner stuck in the hose socket close to where the fan was.. Happy Anniversary Darlin'!

Dude. It's rowan.

Anyway, I saw a special calle "101 sexual accidents" that vacuum cleaner incedent.

According to them, it was no accident. *shrug*

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Post by: Grandy on March 21, 2006, 12:06:13 AM

Quote

Originally posted by FFL2and3rocks
One word:

o_0

 For some weird reason, I think your avatar would be a better word for this situation.

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Post by: FFL2and3rocks on March 21, 2006, 12:11:02 AM

Quote

Originally posted by Grandy

quote:

Originally posted by FFL2and3rocks One word: o_0

 For some weird reason, I think your avatar would be a better word for this situation.

Ha, it sure would!
Ow.  :yell:

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Post by: DragonBlaze on March 21, 2006, 12:37:51 AM

Wow, it hurts just to read that...

Though a kid at my school last year (a freshman), locked a padlock through his sack and then forgot the combonation. He had to go to the princible to get it cut off (the lock that is). Then a few months later I heard people on the radio talking about it, they didn't mention any names but they called him a dumbass... and they were right.

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Post by: Meiscool-2 on March 21, 2006, 01:08:49 AM

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Originally posted by charaman
I'd do it.

You'll never use it anyways.

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Post by: MrMister on March 21, 2006, 01:20:56 AM

Vacuum sodomy.

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Post by: smokey_locs2002 on March 21, 2006, 03:19:21 AM

Quote

Originally posted by Meiscool

quote:

Originally posted by charaman I'd do it.

You'll never use it anyways.

LMAO!!! Nice one. Nice one.

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Post by: Drace on March 21, 2006, 06:02:03 AM

WTF!?

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Post by: shinotebasiiackh on March 21, 2006, 10:01:00 AM

Quote

Originally posted by MrMister
Vacuum sodomy.

It's more like getting a blow job from a pirahnna.