Charas-Project

Off-Topic => Creative arts => Topic started by: EXO Muffin on July 15, 2006, 07:52:45 PM

Title: Manga-thing coming soon?
Post by: EXO Muffin on July 15, 2006, 07:52:45 PM

Well, I think I'm planning on making some manga-esque comic art thing, and I'd like to see if you think it'll be good. I have enclosed a monochrome (black and white,no greys) picture of the main character.
If you like it please tell me. I will be posting the comics here if you like the first taste of it, but it'll probably take a while between each.
Please vote on the poll of how my art is on a scale of 1-10.

Thank you.

Title:
Post by: Dragoon de Sol on July 15, 2006, 08:26:48 PM

3

Title:
Post by: Revolution911 on July 15, 2006, 08:36:01 PM

Those legs and the sword needs...alot of work. 3.

Title:
Post by: PyroAlchemist on July 15, 2006, 08:45:18 PM

I'll say 4 cause I like the monochrome look. But as stated the legs and sword need a lot of work.

Title:
Post by: Bluhman on July 15, 2006, 08:47:42 PM

That sword is silly, and his legs look broken. A 3 from meh.

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Post by: Archem on July 15, 2006, 10:28:48 PM

2
I literally started to tear up as I saw that.
Dead serious.
Needs tons of work.

Title: Thanks!
Post by: EXO Muffin on July 17, 2006, 05:13:40 AM

Thank you for your criticism. I praise you for that! I will work on the legs and sword right now, to make you all happier.

Title: Version 2.0
Post by: EXO Muffin on July 17, 2006, 06:03:33 AM

Well, thank you for your criticism, again, destructive or constructive, and here is a new one. What do you think?

(Yes, his pose makes him look kind of like Michael Jackson, I know)

Title:
Post by: Gary on July 17, 2006, 06:05:36 AM

You really gotta change how think the blades handle is. It's way to friggin big for a blade of that size.

Title: Hooray!
Post by: EXO Muffin on July 17, 2006, 06:36:32 AM

Hooray, here is v3 edition of my character, whose name is now Kenzu Masakawa. I thinned and straightened the hilt, added runeguard thingies and a katana-esque design, replaced the retarded guard with a rapier-ish bellguard and redesigned the blade for the sword. I also changed the pose and shoe design, so I hope you like it. It's very hard to work with monochrome, I'm not using Photoshop 5, which I have, because it says the scratch disks are full whenever I do 30 or so actions, especially with the hands. I hope this is an improvement from the original. If it isn't then please, please, tell me what I need to fix.

Thank you.

Title:
Post by: Gary on July 17, 2006, 06:50:43 AM

Alrighty. Time To break it down.

1. The swords handle is still to big XD. The gaurds won't do
because they're way to bent and would collapse if it got
touched anyways. The  bellgaurd just doesn't match the
rest of it. has to many varieties in the sword itself. If it's
rapier then make the whole design as such.

2. His feet are horribly placed. standing like that you're
gonna fall over. No way about it. Make his feet be placed
at a stance where he can at least stand right. Maybe
fanned out at about a 45 degree angle. Also change the
style of his boots. It's not really a good design and looks
kinda gaudy. Also make it look like his feet are on the
ground. if you must then make a little curvature on his
feet to build from to make it look placed.

3. The way the jacket is flyin out isn't to well. He's
either falling or going forward. I can't really tell. Give
it a more relaxed look. Make the jacket be down some
and not swinging wildly about. Also with the shirt that
little spike it does shouldn't be there. It's to randomly
placed and doesn't match with the rest of it.
Let it just be straightened a bit.

4. Add some meat to the anerexic thing. He has no
mass on him at all lol. Like a walkin toothpick or
something. Give him so muscle to stand on. Also with
his shoulders. They're a little long and the one with
his hand up looks like he broke it. As well as the other
joints. They just don't seem to fall in right. Looks like
he's made of rubber or something.

5. His head doesn't really fit on the neck right either.
The next is to slender at the top and should also be
a little shorter. His head needs to be rounded off a
bit cause he looks like a cone. His eyes are to slanted
and should be straightened. Maybe an eyebrow? Also
add an ear onto him.

Well thats what I have to say for you. I like the
monochrome idea so keep at it. You'll get it eventually.

Good luck.

Title: Well, looks like you just killed him.
Post by: EXO Muffin on July 17, 2006, 09:04:46 AM

Heh, you pointed out to me so many things that were bad, that it'll change the whole thing all together! I mean, jeez, I might as well just do a different picture. Here's my comments on...erm, your comments.

Joint flexibility: That's very true, and the only reason I did that was because he was supposed to look strained somehow. The muscle mass is rather...creased and freakish, true.

Sword shape: Well, the first few were bad, yeah, but this is the kind of awe I'm going for.(Except for the too big handle.)I'm trying to get people to say something like,"What the #@$% is that?!" It's supposed to be original, not based off any specific sword type.

Cranial obscurities:Teeth aren't that good, I know. The eye is supposed to look exactly like that. Neck...I'll work on that. I always forget to add ears on my pictures. The eyebrow thing...huh. Well, that would ruin the freakishness of the eye, I'm not so sure if I should add some.

Posture:Well, I can't really explain this so much, but I'll include a picture of what he's supposed to be doing. I'll fix that part of his shirt that looks triangular. Shoe design is bad= true. I can't draw shoes that don't look like elf shoes, ballerina shoes, platform shoes, or buckled shoes.

Muscle stuff:By the way, the thing about him being all muscleless-looking is because the only thing that my character eats is ramen. And NO, I DID NOT GET THAT FROM NARUTO. I've been eating ramen, myself, very often since I was 8 or something.

Thank you for your comments, and criticism. You've completely killed him, though!What I mean by this is, I will have to change just about everything in the picture and...it won't be the picture it was. :(
*sigh* That's not neccesarily bad, though.

Title:
Post by: Gary on July 17, 2006, 01:27:30 PM

Hahaha. Well uhm. Sorry to kill your chara but you just asked for direct C&C XD. So that's all I gave.

Title:
Post by: Archem on July 17, 2006, 03:46:35 PM

Hey, that last one was pretty good! 8/10 for the stick guys!
/seriously

Title: Deleted other one, haha forgot attachment
Post by: coreystranick on July 17, 2006, 04:21:06 PM

Well, hmm Gary did add alot but you won't have to change you guy all that much just edits of what is aready tere.

The shoes are bad, maybe if you angled the right(our left) foot up just alittle it wouldn't look weird. I like the sword due to its originality and it has gotten better since the first one. An eebrow wouldn't hurt either. I suppose he is mad due to the fact he is fighting so add one that is angled with his eye(look at attachement). Oh and the hand that is up in the air look a tad too big for his wrist.
As for muscle, just add alittle outline for his pecs, even if he eats ramen noodles(which I love eating I have ate them I was about 8 also) he would still have little muscle from leraing how to handle a blade.

Title:
Post by: Gary on July 17, 2006, 04:31:05 PM

Quote

Originally posted by coreystranick
Well, hmm Gary did add alot but you won't have to change you guy all that much just edits of what is aready tere.

The shoes are bad, maybe if you angled the right(our left) foot up just alittle it wouldn't look weird. I like the sword due to its originality and it has gotten better since the first one. An eebrow wouldn't hurt either. I suppose he is mad due to the fact he is fighting so add one that is angled with his eye(look at attachement). Oh and the hand that is up in the air look a tad too big for his wrist.
As for muscle, just add alittle outline for his pecs, even if he eats ramen noodles(which I love eating I have ate them I was about 8 also) he would still have little muscle from leraing how to handle a blade.

Hehehe maybe is a little much but he wanted clear honest critique. So I pointed out everything I though needed fixing.

Title:
Post by: MrMister on July 17, 2006, 04:35:57 PM

It depends... is it chili vomit? And are all the shampoo bottles full of hot sauce?

Title:
Post by: coreystranick on July 17, 2006, 04:51:39 PM

Quote

Originally posted by Gary

quote:

Originally posted by coreystranick Well, hmm Gary did add alot but you won't have to change you guy all that much just edits of what is aready tere. The shoes are bad, maybe if you angled the right(our left) foot up just alittle it wouldn't look weird. I like the sword due to its originality and it has gotten better since the first one. An eebrow wouldn't hurt either. I suppose he is mad due to the fact he is fighting so add one that is angled with his eye(look at attachement). Oh and the hand that is up in the air look a tad too big for his wrist. As for muscle, just add alittle outline for his pecs, even if he eats ramen noodles(which I love eating I have ate them I was about 8 also) he would still have little muscle from leraing how to handle a blade.

Hehehe maybe is a little much but he wanted clear honest critique. So I pointed out everything I though needed fixing.

True, I jsut think he is a bit surprised but all that you have found worng, I tired to help give him alittle bit more clear examples on some stuff that you hve said. If he puts your critque and some of my stuff together he could make a pretty good character.

Title:
Post by: Gary on July 17, 2006, 05:31:32 PM

Quote

Originally posted by coreystranick

quote:

Originally posted by Gary quote: Originally posted by coreystranick Well, hmm Gary did add alot but you won't have to change you guy all that much just edits of what is aready tere. The shoes are bad, maybe if you angled the right(our left) foot up just alittle it wouldn't look weird. I like the sword due to its originality and it has gotten better since the first one. An eebrow wouldn't hurt either. I suppose he is mad due to the fact he is fighting so add one that is angled with his eye(look at attachement). Oh and the hand that is up in the air look a tad too big for his wrist. As for muscle, just add alittle outline for his pecs, even if he eats ramen noodles(which I love eating I have ate them I was about 8 also) he would still have little muscle from leraing how to handle a blade. Hehehe maybe is a little much but he wanted clear honest critique. So I pointed out everything I though needed fixing.

True, I jsut think he is a bit surprised but all that you have found worng, I tired to help give him alittle bit more clear examples on some stuff that you hve said. If he puts your critque and some of my stuff together he could make a pretty good character.

Indeed he could. I say he should continue and make it better like this. It could be very good and also help him improve his skills for later projects.

Title:
Post by: Archem on July 17, 2006, 06:11:54 PM

Pff! I'd say that he's lucky that I wouldn't want to ever eat my own vomit. God knows I put in disgusting enough stuff as it is...