Charas-Project

Off-Topic => All of all! => Topic started by: Almeidaboo on April 05, 2007, 11:53:47 PM

Title: Good one...
Post by: Almeidaboo on April 05, 2007, 11:53:47 PM
Kinda of a joke, but pretty much  reflect some reality: (no offense intended)

IDEAL CAPITALISM

You got two cows.
Sells one and buys an ox.
They procriate, economy grows.
You sell them all, retire as a rich man!

AMERICAN CAPITALISM

You got two cows.
Sell one and forces the other to produce the same amount of milk that two cows produce.
You're surprised when she dies.

JAPANESE CAPITALISM

You got two cows.
You redesign them to have 1/10 of the size of a normal cow and produce 20x more milk. After that you create animes with small creatures called Cowemons and sell it for the whole world.

BRITISH CAPITALISM

You got two cows.
Both are crazy.

DUTCH CAPITALISM

You got two cows.
They live together, don't like oxes, and it's all fine...

GERMAN CAPITALISM

You got two cows.
They produce milk regularly, following patterns of quantity and quality, in a precise and rentable way.
Though you wanted to create pigs.

RUSSIAN CAPITALISM
You got two cows.
You count them and see five.
You count them again and see 42.
You count them once more and see 12 cows.
You stop counting and opens another vodka...

SWEDEN`S CAPITALISM

YOu have 500 cows. None of them are yours
You charge to take care of other people`s cows.

SPANISH CAPITALISM

You're very proud of having two cows.

PORTUGUESE CAPITALISM

YOu have two cows.
You complain about how they do not procriate...

INDIA`S CAPITALISM

You have two cows.
No one dares to touch them.

ARGENTINA`S CAPITALISM

You have two cows.
You struggle to teach them to moo in english
They die.
YOu give their meat to USA`s government New Year BBQ.

BRAZILLIAN CAPITALISM

You have two cows.
One of them you stole.
The government creates a CPT - Cow possession tax.
A surveyor of taxes fines you, because enev though you payed the CTP, the value to pay was based in the presumed number of cows, not the real number of cows.
The govern, using also presumed numbers of your milk, cheese, shoes and leather consumption, presumes that you have 200 cows and, to get yourself outta this mess, you give one of your cows to tax surveyor and then it's all ok...
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Post by: A Forgotten Legend on April 06, 2007, 12:00:12 AM
All of those are on a poster in every single one of the history rooms in our school and the the 7th and 8th grade junior high's rooms.
I like the one where the government takes both your cows and then shoots you.

EDIT: Nevermind.  the poster is something similar to that.
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Post by: Daetyrnis on April 06, 2007, 12:13:07 AM
Yeah, I got that chain email too.
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Post by: Almeidaboo on April 06, 2007, 12:24:36 AM
Took me so long to translate...it really burned my brains...but it`s worth it!
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Post by: Blue_Strife on April 06, 2007, 12:45:56 AM
Lollerskates indeed.
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Post by: Meiscool-2 on April 06, 2007, 01:02:06 AM
Quote
Originally posted by Blue_Strife
Lollerskates indeed.
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Post by: Razor on April 06, 2007, 01:50:12 AM
Two cows jokes for the win.
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Post by: Bluhman on April 06, 2007, 02:36:53 AM
Not bad. I think the Japan and India ones are my favorites.
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Post by: Almeidaboo on April 06, 2007, 04:05:02 AM
Sadly, for me, the brazilian one is hell funny...I also like Dutchland too ^^
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Post by: Razor on April 06, 2007, 04:20:45 AM
CHARAS CAPITALISM

You have two cows.
One requests a characterset in his first post, the other flames him for being a noob.
And the milk tastes funky, too.
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Post by: X_marks_the_ed on April 06, 2007, 11:36:07 AM
Quote
Originally posted by Razor
CHARAS CAPITALISM

You have two cows.
One requests a characterset in his first post, the other flames him for being a noob.
And the milk tastes funky, too.


My new fave. :D
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Post by: Almeidaboo on April 06, 2007, 12:04:14 PM
Nice flex Razor =D

The portuguese one is the most...true.
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Post by: Dragonium on April 06, 2007, 05:37:11 PM
LORD RAFFLES CAPITALISM

You have two cows.
You talk to anyone who will listen about how incredible you are for having two cows in the first place, on a sociological, philisophical and psychological level.
Nobody cares what you have to say, and by the time you're done talking, both of your cows are dead.

IRAQI CAPITALISM

You used to have two cows.


Yeah, bored. Lol and all that.
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Post by: Moosetroop11 on April 06, 2007, 06:51:24 PM
Alas, England capitalism is quite simple. You have two cows, and it costs more to feed them than you can sell their milk for.
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Post by: Razor on April 07, 2007, 12:06:59 AM
AUSTRALIAN CAPITALISM (as seen by the rest of the world)
G'day! You 'ave two cows, and everything's upsidedown! Crikey!
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Post by: Grandy on April 07, 2007, 12:32:29 AM
STAR SCAPE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
Fourty-two more cows appear every seven seconds.
All of them, but the first two, give milk only once, before going braindead.
You kill every single one of them and burn your farm.
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Post by: MrMister on April 07, 2007, 04:39:04 AM
Quote
Originally posted by Grandy
STAR SCAPE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
Fourty-two more cows appear every seven seconds.
All of them, but the first two, give milk only once, before going braindead.
You kill every single one of them and burn your farm.

terrifying
only good one thus far
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Post by: Drace on April 07, 2007, 04:45:34 AM
Quote
Originally posted by Razor
AUSTRALIAN CAPITALISM (as seen by the rest of the world)
G'day! You 'ave two cows, and everything's upsidedown! Crikey!


You have two cows. One of them gets eaten by a croc and the other gets stabbed in the heart by a stingray.
Title: I'm joking btw
Post by: Razor on April 07, 2007, 04:50:23 AM
Too soon!
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Post by: Dominicy on April 07, 2007, 07:16:05 AM
Quote
Originally posted by Drace
Quote
Originally posted by Razor
AUSTRALIAN CAPITALISM (as seen by the rest of the world)
G'day! You 'ave two cows, and everything's upsidedown! Crikey!


You have two cows. One of them gets eaten by a croc and the other gets stabbed in the heart by a stingray.[/B]


That wasn't funny. :(
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Post by: Ben on April 07, 2007, 07:55:32 AM
Quote



You have two cows. One of them gets eaten by a croc and the other gets stabbed in the heart by a stingray.





Seriously Drace....That was the funniest thing Ive ever heard you say.
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Post by: Dragonium on April 07, 2007, 05:31:37 PM
DRACE CAPITALISM

You spend too much time masturbating to hentai and listening to emo music to realise that you have two cows.

Sorry buddy, it had to be said.
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Post by: Drace on April 07, 2007, 06:23:14 PM
That makes me down. *masturbates, then cuts himself and cries*
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Post by: Meiscool-2 on April 07, 2007, 06:37:07 PM
Yuri Yuri!
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Post by: Cosmos on April 07, 2007, 09:14:02 PM
lmao XD