Charas-Project
Off-Topic => All of all! => Topic started by: Shady Ultima on June 26, 2007, 02:57:04 AM
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Well, I was lookin at another forum, and there's a quite popular thread called the Love and Relationships thread. It's there for people struggling with relationships.
And since I'm sure EVERYONE deals with these kinds of things, I figured I might bring it over here.
So basically, when you have a problem with friends, girls/boys, parents, or any other relationship really, you could talk about it in this thread, and hopefully, people will give you some advice.
So, please don't spam, and if you have any relationship problems, let 'em flow!
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Well I already said something about my problems, but here goes :-p
My Gf always wants to kill herself. She thinks her only purpose in life is to cause other people pain (although she never wants to). Her dad always yells at her, and her mom (they're not together) doesn't even think of her as a duaghter anymore (she told her that). Umm, lets see, she thinks she is a bad person and has no self esteem, whenever something even very small happens to her, she gets down on herself and wants to kill herself, hurt herself, or something along those lines. Like today she was down for no real reason, but she took a scisors and cut her stomach quick right in front of me :(
I can't cheer her up or she gets mad at. Well she says shes a bad person, if I try and tell her thats shes a good person, she gets mad that I don't believe her. And when I talk her out of killing herself and stuff like that she gets mad at me for not caring about her and her feelings.
So yeah, thats my situation, I don't expect anyone can help. Shes gonna see a therapist soon, so thats good. I'm all used to this crap by now, so it doesn't bother me as much and I know how to deal with her, but anyway, i thought i might as well post anyway.
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If you love her, stick with her.
If you're only with her because she loves you, dump her and find someone that doesn't wanna die.
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Well, I never thought I'd say this, but I must agree with Meiscool.
It sounds like she's a very troubled young lady, and perhaps it's not the best choice to stay with her. But I firmly believe that love can conquer all, so if you love her, stay by her side. Never let anyone judge you for who you love, and just make sure she knows you're ALWAYS going to be by her side.
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If you DO decide to keep her, take her on a camping trip. Somewhere very isolated, and tell her NOT to bring her Cell phone or radio. Nothing is more relaxing then the great out doors, just don't go hunting or anything similar, as that would put something dangerous in her hands, and in her mind. Somewhere to avoid all contact from things that may bother her, like mean or upsetting people, or the thought of violence.
Besides, camping always puts me in a better mood.
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I wouldn't stay with her.
DON'T TAKE ANY OF THIS TO HEART. I MAY SOUND A BIT HARSH.
Honestly, she's being a baby and it all sounds like one big cry for attention. Like "stay with me cause if you don't IM GUNNA DIE." Even if its not like that, you still shouldn't have to deal with her. BUT IF YOU'RE A BIG SENSITIVE MOOSH. Atleast let her know that you really don't have to deal with her being a baby and you shouldn't. If you really do love her, you gotta tell it to her straight that she needs to grow up. Everyones life sucks, I don't think she has a right to complain.
Sounds harsh but I been in this situation before. TAKE NO PRISONERS.
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Reminds me of the old forum I used to moderate until the admin left, "Bring me revolution". I was a big success there, so one can only hope it does well here.
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I pretty much agree with what Rev says. Everyone has problems, but most people learn to deal with them and not be all attention-seeking.
If she's not strong enough to deal with her own problems, and she's not prepared to go through therapy or self-help to make herself strong enough, then she's probably just after attention. If you choose to stay with her after that then you're a noble guy, but seriously, don't spend your life looking out for someone who's just going to cause more problems for themself.
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Hmm, here I was thinkin DB and Dragonium were the same person.
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For God's sake. I am clearly NOT DragonBlaze. Move along.
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Originally posted by Shady Ultima
Hmm, here I was thinkin DB and Dragonium were the same person.
Fracking LOL me too...I was like...Dude...
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Originally posted by Revolution911
I wouldn't stay with her.
DON'T TAKE ANY OF THIS TO HEART. I MAY SOUND A BIT HARSH.
Honestly, she's being a baby and it all sounds like one big cry for attention. Like "stay with me cause if you don't IM GUNNA DIE." Even if its not like that, you still shouldn't have to deal with her. BUT IF YOU'RE A BIG SENSITIVE MOOSH. Atleast let her know that you really don't have to deal with her being a baby and you shouldn't. If you really do love her, you gotta tell it to her straight that she needs to grow up. Everyones life sucks, I don't think she has a right to complain.
Sounds harsh but I been in this situation before. TAKE NO PRISONERS.
Nobody who wants to kill themself does it for attention. NOBODY.
Why not?
Its probably the dumbest way to get attention.
People who want to kill themselves do it because they have an intolerable amount of pain, and they want to get rid of it. The ability to tolerate pain changes from person to person, and also on the type of pain. Some people can tolerate pain from relationships better than pain from loss of family, for example. Others feel differently.
Most people who want to kill themselves (statistically 90%) have some kind of neurological disorder (i.e schitzophrenia, PTSD, C-PTSD, depressions, etc.).
Telling somebody to grow up isn't going to help them when the real problem is something like PTSD. It's like slapping somebody because they complain from pain because they have a broken arm. Nor is it going to help by taunting them because they cannot tolerate pain to the degree you can.
Anyways therapy is probably the best way for her to go. Or a nice book. Or something that came keep her attention away from harming herself.
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Originally posted by Revolution911
I wouldn't stay with her.
DON'T TAKE ANY OF THIS TO HEART. I MAY SOUND A BIT HARSH.
Honestly, she's being a baby and it all sounds like one big cry for attention. Like "stay with me cause if you don't IM GUNNA DIE." Even if its not like that, you still shouldn't have to deal with her. BUT IF YOU'RE A BIG SENSITIVE MOOSH. Atleast let her know that you really don't have to deal with her being a baby and you shouldn't. If you really do love her, you gotta tell it to her straight that she needs to grow up. Everyones life sucks, I don't think she has a right to complain.
Sounds harsh but I been in this situation before. TAKE NO PRISONERS.
I don't think you're harsh enough. :p
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As far as the suicide thing goes, my sister is schizo affective (pre-stages of schizophrenia), so I know how a lot of it goes. If she's diagnosed with anything, medicines can help balance emotions.
Therapy is also a good idea. My sister sees a therapist twice a month and she does fairly well with it.
It just depends on all of the situations. Many things contribute to these things, so be sure to look at all possibilities.
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Not so much a relationship problem as much as it a... problem, I guess...
Alright, I've known a girl since the 7th grade. We're really good friends and have been since that grade.
The way we hung out, people thought we had feelings for each other and would constantly ask if we were going out or would taunt us for acting the way we did.
Well, I liked her since the end of the 7th grade. 8th grade was when the taunting and gossip started. I noticed that, among her other guy friends, she treated me differently. But I wasn't sure if it was if she liked me or not.
When we got into the 9th grade, during band camp she met a senior and they started going out. On top of that, thanks to big mouths, she found out I liked her. Her boyfriend is a nice guy, but there seems to be a huge wall of tension between us. We've even talked about the entire thing together and the wall still seems to be there.
We're about to start our sophomore year in August. Her BF will be in college and I don't know how they'll stay in much contact with each other.
Because of this, I don't know how much of a move I would be able to make. Could I take her to homecoming? Movies?
People tell me she likes me, and the way she acts around me might hint to it. We act like an old married couple (fighting, chatting, etc.) and are always hanging out.
So, what do you guys make of the situation? Should I try for it? Or should I just leave the whole thing alone and just remain friends with her?
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Originally posted by Linkizcool
Originally posted by Revolution911
I wouldn't stay with her.
DON'T TAKE ANY OF THIS TO HEART. I MAY SOUND A BIT HARSH.
Honestly, she's being a baby and it all sounds like one big cry for attention. Like "stay with me cause if you don't IM GUNNA DIE." Even if its not like that, you still shouldn't have to deal with her. BUT IF YOU'RE A BIG SENSITIVE MOOSH. Atleast let her know that you really don't have to deal with her being a baby and you shouldn't. If you really do love her, you gotta tell it to her straight that she needs to grow up. Everyones life sucks, I don't think she has a right to complain.
Sounds harsh but I been in this situation before. TAKE NO PRISONERS.
Nobody who wants to kill themself does it for attention. NOBODY.
Why not?
Its probably the dumbest way to get attention.
People who want to kill themselves do it because they have an intolerable amount of pain, and they want to get rid of it. The ability to tolerate pain changes from person to person, and also on the type of pain. Some people can tolerate pain from relationships better than pain from loss of family, for example. Others feel differently.
Most people who want to kill themselves (statistically 90%) have some kind of neurological disorder (i.e schitzophrenia, PTSD, C-PTSD, depressions, etc.).
Telling somebody to grow up isn't going to help them when the real problem is something like PTSD. It's like slapping somebody because they complain from pain because they have a broken arm. Nor is it going to help by taunting them because they cannot tolerate pain to the degree you can.
Anyways therapy is probably the best way for her to go. Or a nice book. Or something that came keep her attention away from harming herself.
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Is she dead yet? No. She hasn't done it yet, but she threatens too over and over again. If you really wanted to kill yourself, you wouldn't boast about it so everyone around you can console you. You'd do it. Its all self-centered bullshit. Just because YOU have a few problems, the world is going to ****ing end right? Its not worth living if it gets to hard, right? No. Grow up. You cant be a baby and complain for your entire life. If you have a disease or some **** like that, fine, take your free pass and move on.
But you aren't born with depression. You let yourself spiral down into it. People like that need to wake the hell up and move on. So yes, I can tell them to grow up because thats not the only hardship life is going to throw at you, and they need to get used to it.
People are too sensitive now-a-days to sit here and give in to demands like this. Its not going to help them in the future. Its sending the message that if something like this happens again, everyone around them will be right there to hug and kiss them. Thats not how it works. The world is too busy and moves too fast for everyone to be there for you all the time. Sometimes you have to suck it up and move through it. I'm not saying it's easy, but its not an option. It's something you HAVE to do.
EDIT: In response to Fortet, I'd say stay where you are. If you really want to, go for it but if she actually breaks up with the other guy for you, imagine what she could do to you. It sounds like you want to though, so go ahead. If she really does like you, you'll make a good couple.
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Originally posted by Fortet
Not so much a relationship problem as much as it a... problem, I guess...
Alright, I've known a girl since the 7th grade. We're really good friends and have been since that grade.
The way we hung out, people thought we had feelings for each other and would constantly ask if we were going out or would taunt us for acting the way we did.
Well, I liked her since the end of the 7th grade. 8th grade was when the taunting and gossip started. I noticed that, among her other guy friends, she treated me differently. But I wasn't sure if it was if she liked me or not.
When we got into the 9th grade, during band camp she met a senior and they started going out. On top of that, thanks to big mouths, she found out I liked her. Her boyfriend is a nice guy, but there seems to be a huge wall of tension between us. We've even talked about the entire thing together and the wall still seems to be there.
We're about to start our sophomore year in August. Her BF will be in college and I don't know how they'll stay in much contact with each other.
Because of this, I don't know how much of a move I would be able to make. Could I take her to homecoming? Movies?
People tell me she likes me, and the way she acts around me might hint to it. We act like an old married couple (fighting, chatting, etc.) and are always hanging out.
So, what do you guys make of the situation? Should I try for it? Or should I just leave the whole thing alone and just remain friends with her?
98% of the time: You're her friend now. Prospects of becoming anything more are slim, and prospects of it being more than a temporary thing are slimmer. Acting like an old married couple or always hanging out is, despite what you may think, a sign that she likes you as a good friend, which almost always means she's not interested romantically in you. Also, don't trust people telling you that she likes you, because they're not her, and sometimes just want to cause trouble.
Holding a crush for extended periods of time never works out very well. But don't feel bad about it - the biggest rule about dating that a lot of people have trouble about is that screwing up just means you have to keep looking. If you like a girl, even if you don't know how she feels, try and make a move, or at least tell her about it. If you get rejected, don't take it personally, and just move on. You'll probably go through the cycle quite a few times before finding a winner. But not trying is going to make you feel worse in the long run.
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Originally posted by Revolution911
Originally posted by Linkizcool
Originally posted by Revolution911
I wouldn't stay with her.
DON'T TAKE ANY OF THIS TO HEART. I MAY SOUND A BIT HARSH.
Honestly, she's being a baby and it all sounds like one big cry for attention. Like "stay with me cause if you don't IM GUNNA DIE." Even if its not like that, you still shouldn't have to deal with her. BUT IF YOU'RE A BIG SENSITIVE MOOSH. Atleast let her know that you really don't have to deal with her being a baby and you shouldn't. If you really do love her, you gotta tell it to her straight that she needs to grow up. Everyones life sucks, I don't think she has a right to complain.
Sounds harsh but I been in this situation before. TAKE NO PRISONERS.
Nobody who wants to kill themself does it for attention. NOBODY.
Why not?
Its probably the dumbest way to get attention.
People who want to kill themselves do it because they have an intolerable amount of pain, and they want to get rid of it. The ability to tolerate pain changes from person to person, and also on the type of pain. Some people can tolerate pain from relationships better than pain from loss of family, for example. Others feel differently.
Most people who want to kill themselves (statistically 90%) have some kind of neurological disorder (i.e schitzophrenia, PTSD, C-PTSD, depressions, etc.).
Telling somebody to grow up isn't going to help them when the real problem is something like PTSD. It's like slapping somebody because they complain from pain because they have a broken arm. Nor is it going to help by taunting them because they cannot tolerate pain to the degree you can.
Anyways therapy is probably the best way for her to go. Or a nice book. Or something that came keep her attention away from harming herself.
[/B]
Is she dead yet? No. She hasn't done it yet, but she threatens too over and over again. If you really wanted to kill yourself, you wouldn't boast about it so everyone around you can console you. You'd do it. Its all self-centered bullshit. Just because YOU have a few problems, the world is going to ****ing end right? Its not worth living if it gets to hard, right? No. Grow up. You cant be a baby and complain for your entire life. If you have a disease or some **** like that, fine, take your free pass and move on.
But you aren't born with depression. You let yourself spiral down into it. People like that need to wake the hell up and move on. So yes, I can tell them to grow up because thats not the only hardship life is going to throw at you, and they need to get used to it.
People are too sensitive now-a-days to sit here and give in to demands like this. Its not going to help them in the future. Its sending the message that if something like this happens again, everyone around them will be right there to hug and kiss them. Thats not how it works. The world is too busy and moves too fast for everyone to be there for you all the time. Sometimes you have to suck it up and move through it. I'm not saying it's easy, but its not an option. It's something you HAVE to do.
EDIT: In response to Fortet, I'd say stay where you are. If you really want to, go for it but if she actually breaks up with the other guy for you, imagine what she could do to you. It sounds like you want to though, so go ahead. If she really does like you, you'll make a good couple.[/B]
You know i agree with and at the same time I don't. I don't agree that you can just say to someone grow up if they are depressed and expect them to relaise and fix up. I was depressed myself. However, I do agree that she is probably attracted to attention, as I NEVER boasted (ok, I did tell 300 people and the head of a depressive group that i tried killing myself, however, he also changed my life and fixed my problem lol). about trying to kill myself and didn't tell my girlfriend or family till months later. I think that if she keeps reminding you, then give her therapy, if it shows she has no problems, get the powder, and prepare to pimp slap.
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Exactly...i was depressed to and tried killing myself. Think of it this way:
You dont want to kill yourself, you just want to end the pain. And killing yourself is the only option you see left right? Nope. Most people at this stage go and tell others because they want help. They don't want to die and leave everybody they love behind wondering what the heck happened. If you tell others, some people will react like Rev did and tell you to grow up, but really that adds to depression, etc. Others, who actually know how to deal with this would listen to what you ahve to say and find a way out of it. Thats what the suicidal actually wants, somebody that will help them find a way out of it rather than death.
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Wow, the depression/"i-used-to-be-depressed" level at Charas is stupidly high.
I used to be too (No surprise there), but I beat it by just doing stuff to take my mind off it and not thinking about it, at all. I got into some serious gaming, basically from when I got up through to when I went to back to bed, and although it sounds pretty ridiculous, after several weeks I was fine again. When you're depressed, thinking about it only makes it worse. Time is a great healer, and if you don't think about it (And thus don't allow it to get any worse), it'll clear up.
DB, you should try to get her into more activities and things. I agree with whoever said to go camping. Take her out. Do things. Have fun.
*Waits patiently for Linkizcool to tell me that fun will just cause her to implode more :p*
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Dragonblaze, her story might have held some credibility until the stomach cutting thing. That isn't possibly depression. No way. If she didn't want trouble for you she'd kill herself privately, and certainly not just harm herself in front of you. She's using you to make herself feel important, and she's damaging your life alongside her own.
Sorry.
Also, how the hell can people still be confusing Dragonblaze and Dragonium? XDD
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Originally posted by Linkizcool
Exactly...i was depressed to and tried killing myself. Think of it this way:
You dont want to kill yourself, you just want to end the pain. And killing yourself is the only option you see left right? Nope. Most people at this stage go and tell others because they want help. They don't want to die and leave everybody they love behind wondering what the heck happened. If you tell others, some people will react like Rev did and tell you to grow up, but really that adds to depression, etc. Others, who actually know how to deal with this would listen to what you ahve to say and find a way out of it. Thats what the suicidal actually wants, somebody that will help them find a way out of it rather than death.
Of course I'll listen to them and I'll help them. But not for too long. If you're constantly beating yourself to death with something that happened months ago, than I have no sympathy for you because you're not trying to get out of it. Like I said, YOU let YOURSELF spiral down into depression. A lot of stuff is hard to deal with and hurts, but that doesn't mean the world stops spinning and you cant move on.
Also, I'm not offended or anything, but I don't like how you seem to act like you're in every suicidal persons shoes. Some of these people hate themselves. Some of them WANT to kill themselves because it will end all the pain. However, all of which are big babies who aren't ready for the real world. It's a matter of coming to the realization that what you're bitching and moaning about just is NOT worth all the pain you're causing YOURSELF.
If I am describing you here, then what you need to do is GROW UP and MOVE THE HELL ON. Everyone is going to be sad about a breakup or a death for awhile, but if you stay there and keep it on your mind at all times, then get over it and move on.
You guys act like I'm simply going to say "grow up" and that will be that. No. I'll lay it ALL out and show them how ridiculous what they're doing to their self really is. If they don't get it after a few "tell-it-to-em-straights" then I really don't need to deal with this kind of ****.
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Well, as I have stated before, I'm bipolar, so depression doesn't bother me. I think the girl does need serious help, but I agree that the cutting herself is more of a cry for attention. If she still is like this after seeing a therapist, I think she's got some serious attention issues, and is just channeling it as depression.
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Originally posted by Revolution911
Originally posted by Linkizcool
Exactly...i was depressed to and tried killing myself. Think of it this way:
You dont want to kill yourself, you just want to end the pain. And killing yourself is the only option you see left right? Nope. Most people at this stage go and tell others because they want help. They don't want to die and leave everybody they love behind wondering what the heck happened. If you tell others, some people will react like Rev did and tell you to grow up, but really that adds to depression, etc. Others, who actually know how to deal with this would listen to what you ahve to say and find a way out of it. Thats what the suicidal actually wants, somebody that will help them find a way out of it rather than death.
Of course I'll listen to them and I'll help them. But not for too long. If you're constantly beating yourself to death with something that happened months ago, than I have no sympathy for you because you're not trying to get out of it. Like I said, YOU let YOURSELF spiral down into depression. A lot of stuff is hard to deal with and hurts, but that doesn't mean the world stops spinning and you cant move on.
Also, I'm not offended or anything, but I don't like how you seem to act like you're in every suicidal persons shoes. Some of these people hate themselves. Some of them WANT to kill themselves because it will end all the pain. However, all of which are big babies who aren't ready for the real world. It's a matter of coming to the realization that what you're bitching and moaning about just is NOT worth all the pain you're causing YOURSELF.
If I am describing you here, then what you need to do is GROW UP and MOVE THE HELL ON. Everyone is going to be sad about a breakup or a death for awhile, but if you stay there and keep it on your mind at all times, then get over it and move on.
You guys act like I'm simply going to say "grow up" and that will be that. No. I'll lay it ALL out and show them how ridiculous what they're doing to their self really is. If they don't get it after a few "tell-it-to-em-straights" then I really don't need to deal with this kind of ****.[/B]
Okay good :P I thought that would be your first response...yea if they keep giving it to you after a whole lotta effort to help them, then that is the only choice left, but if really shouldnt be your first.
Originally posted by Dragonium
Wow, the depression/"i-used-to-be-depressed" level at Charas is stupidly high.
I used to be too (No surprise there), but I beat it by just doing stuff to take my mind off it and not thinking about it, at all. I got into some serious gaming, basically from when I got up through to when I went to back to bed, and although it sounds pretty ridiculous, after several weeks I was fine again. When you're depressed, thinking about it only makes it worse. Time is a great healer, and if you don't think about it (And thus don't allow it to get any worse), it'll clear up.
DB, you should try to get her into more activities and things. I agree with whoever said to go camping. Take her out. Do things. Have fun.
*Waits patiently for Linkizcool to tell me that fun will just cause her to implode more :p*
Haha nice one.
No, my only point is that if you give them no sense of caring whatsoever then that usually doenst work out...when I felt like killing myself, I played guitar to get my mind off of it, and that helped a darn lot.
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Originally posted by Revolution911
Originally posted by Linkizcool
Exactly...i was depressed to and tried killing myself. Think of it this way:
You dont want to kill yourself, you just want to end the pain. And killing yourself is the only option you see left right? Nope. Most people at this stage go and tell others because they want help. They don't want to die and leave everybody they love behind wondering what the heck happened. If you tell others, some people will react like Rev did and tell you to grow up, but really that adds to depression, etc. Others, who actually know how to deal with this would listen to what you ahve to say and find a way out of it. Thats what the suicidal actually wants, somebody that will help them find a way out of it rather than death.
Of course I'll listen to them and I'll help them. But not for too long. If you're constantly beating yourself to death with something that happened months ago, than I have no sympathy for you because you're not trying to get out of it. Like I said, YOU let YOURSELF spiral down into depression. A lot of stuff is hard to deal with and hurts, but that doesn't mean the world stops spinning and you cant move on.
Also, I'm not offended or anything, but I don't like how you seem to act like you're in every suicidal persons shoes. Some of these people hate themselves. Some of them WANT to kill themselves because it will end all the pain. However, all of which are big babies who aren't ready for the real world. It's a matter of coming to the realization that what you're bitching and moaning about just is NOT worth all the pain you're causing YOURSELF.
If I am describing you here, then what you need to do is GROW UP and MOVE THE HELL ON. Everyone is going to be sad about a breakup or a death for awhile, but if you stay there and keep it on your mind at all times, then get over it and move on.
You guys act like I'm simply going to say "grow up" and that will be that. No. I'll lay it ALL out and show them how ridiculous what they're doing to their self really is. If they don't get it after a few "tell-it-to-em-straights" then I really don't need to deal with this kind of ****.[/B]
That I agree on. I'm over my depression, WAY over. However, I mine, and like a few of my m8s who have had or are depressed (I'm talking therapy, pills and other crap like that to help it, not emo ****) have all suffered due to bottled up crap. Thats how mine started. I think its stupid if someone has depression due to an incendant (unless its life chanign liek the loss of someone, bankruptcy etc) can make a person depressed for that long. I could understand if an individual loss their father or something, but eventually, as Rev put it, they need to build a bridge and get over it, or they eventually wither and die.
On a side note, I really did miss intellegent Charas conversations. :)
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Originally posted by Moosetroop11
Dragonblaze, her story might have held some credibility until the stomach cutting thing. That isn't possibly depression. No way. If she didn't want trouble for you she'd kill herself privately, and certainly not just harm herself in front of you. She's using you to make herself feel important, and she's damaging your life alongside her own.
Sorry.
Also, how the hell can people still be confusing Dragonblaze and Dragonium? XDD
Well about the cutting thing. We were having a fight about something or other, about her being a bad person and whatnot. She was in the bathroom at the time doing her hair (her shirt was off, but she had a bra on). And anyway, i was sick of her complaining about her life, so i walked into the other room. She closed the door and locked it. A few minutes later i came back and asked if i could come it, and well i finally convinced her to let me in, so then we were talking about something else, i think what we were gonna do that day. Thats when I noticed some scratch marks on her stomach, I asked what they were (I already knew though) and pointed, she jumped back and said she didn't know, I asked her how she got it, and she didn't know. Then i siad it looked a lot like when she scrached herself on the wrists one day, and thats when she pulled the scissors out of the drawer and slashed it across her stomach. So its not like she waited till i was there to do it, she did it secretly at first when i was in the other room and did it again when I kept asking about it.
Oh, and I am NOT dragonium. I love dragons, and he loves dragon slayers, BIG differance there.
Edit: Ok, my gf is pissed at me now? Why you ask? Well ok, today, we were at our friends house. I don't know why, but my gf opened her car trunk, and our friends as a joke, told us to get in there, I did, but she didn't. Then they asked me if it was alright with me if they drove to a near by gas station with me in the trunk, I said ok, THEN my gf told me she didn't want to, and then I said I wouldn't and got out of the trunk. So now shes pissed at me for that, I don't really understand why though.
I love this girl to death, but if she's always gonna pull this ****, we're not gonna work out. I'm gonna keep on trying for a while though.
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Originally posted by Dragonium
For God's sake. I am clearly NOT DragonBlaze. Move along.
LOL XD
Originally posted by Revolution911
But you aren't born with depression.
They say it's genetic..
Originally posted by Moosetroop11
Dragonblaze, her story might have held some credibility until the stomach cutting thing. That isn't possibly depression. No way. If she didn't want trouble for you she'd kill herself privately, and certainly not just harm herself in front of you. She's using you to make herself feel important, and she's damaging your life alongside her own.
Sorry.
Also, how the hell can people still be confusing Dragonblaze and Dragonium? XDD
I agree.. she's wanting the attention she's not getting from her family.. and she's using db to get it. But she's overdoing it.. and honestly, I know cutters.. personally.. they do it in private... and hide it. She's basically showing you all the time, she wants some attention. Whether it be a cry for help or whether she just wants to be the center of attention.. I don't know.. But maybe you should consider taking a break.. to see where things go...
So here is my (long) issue... Okay back in october I was with my friends and we ran into an old friend who we use to go to school with. So he was checking me out (I had a batgirl suit on, lol) and I was checkin him out (I've had the mean crush on him for like 5 yrs) and whatever. So the next time I saw him, I found out he had a gf.. who he was going to leave because he wasn't really into her.. so I was fine with it, even tho she was a sort've friend of mines. Anyways, after a few weeks of talking he left her and started dating me..
But my parent wasn't feeling him.. here are the reasons, she's old fashioned.. he asked if her if me and him could go on a date... she said yes.. and on that date, I had to ask if we could change the date because she wanted me to paint.. even though I didn't do much of any painting. He was fine with that.. The other reason.. he's a male.. lol And he started actually dating me without asking for her premission (she tried to force me to break up with him).. and the MAIN reason... is cause he's black... (She'd call him names like ****** monkey and black bastard ect...) which really hurt my feelings the most.. because instead of "liking" this dude.. I actually love him.. So I defended him and argued over him.. and she found out that I pretty much had stopped going to school. She blamed him, but I stopped going before I started talking to him.
So.. she called him and started cursing him out.. (other stuff happened like I left the house to go to a job interview she didn't want me to go to and I also went to my old school to speak to my friends and so forth... only reason I went home was because of him.. but I almost walked out again..) and telling him she doesn't want him with me... and he hung up on her.. then she called my friends and started cursing them out.. and the next day (this was around christmas) he kept calling the house hoping I'd pick up.. but I'm not allowed to touch anything so he kept hanging up. Then she started saying crazy **** like, you're a fuckin stalker and what not.. and she kept on and on until he said I wanna speak to tiffany.. then she was like no, **** you you fuckin ****** monkey.. and he lost it.. (I don't blame him..) he said I wanna speak to her now or I'm gonna call the ****ing cops on you and hung up.
I begged and pleaded with her to let me text him and tell him to stop. He did. And she's filling my head of all these stories of how men ain't **** and how he's just like my father (cause they are both cancer's like me) and she's demanding I leave him. And I said no.. so it's been about a month since I've seen any of my friends or spoken to him. I begged her to let me go to this group thing. she did.. but it wasn't there and I called him, he picked me up and we spoke.. So when I started going to school again I'd made all my classes in the afternoon so I could see him and try to maintain the relationship. And it worked.. for a while, and then he tried to break up with me.. he said that we couldn't keep sneaking around that he was too old for this and that he just couldn't deal with my parent.. he cried.. which was weird since he rarely shows anything but laughter and anger.. so I begged him to let me try and fix it.. and he said ok.. but after that he changed... and about a month later (after constant arguing and so on) he left me.
Honestly I didn't know what to do.. I cried constantly, sometimes woke up crying.. and my parent found out.. (cause my friend told my brother what happened and to keep an eye on me) and she's fuckin smiling and **** like it's all good.. tellin me there are other guys and what not... so I took one of my friend's advice and called him.. and I asked if we could talk cause I didn't know what to do now... and he asked if it could wait til he came back (Cause he was going to see his brothers who he hasn't seen for 8 yrs and whatever) and I said fine... so when he came back I tried speaking to him but I couldn't... I was staring out the window forever.. and when I did speak he told me I broke the rules.. since he never speaks to an ex until 4 months or so and asked why I wasn't talking **** behind his back or why I didn't hate him or why I wasn't angry with him.. and I basically told him that it was because I loved him, and I knew that he was hurting me because I got to close to him.. and his insecurities too over and that I couldn't be angry with him for fearing commitment.. I knew about his past (which is one of the things that attracted me to him) and how could I hate him for that?
So we talked, and I guess we're friends.. I dunno.. I saw him again, and then he ended up living with his aunt.. so the next time I saw him was at his wrestling thing.. and I tried talking to him but I couldn't.. I had argued with my parent over coming here... she made me late.. and I told him some of it.. and he looked mad but what could he do? So there was a lot of hugging a lot of looking on both sides... When ever I got bored he'd follow me around and ask if I was okay and so forth.. he spoke to my cousin on the side and pretty much told her that he still loved me and that he wanted to try again.. but not right now.. and as far as I know he's not dating anyone.. I'm not suppose to know that last bit.. >;3 So he told me he'd take me to the movies.. whenever that is..
So when I got home parent took away my laptop (which my brother lets me sneak on) and pretty much has me isolated again.. and then she found out I dropped out of school again. So now she's pissed.. so she tells my cousin how she hates me and how she wants to kick me out and blah fuckin blah.. I'm trying to find a new place to stay at... or hope my other plan works.. She doesn't want me to go the school I want to go too, cause it doesn't have the "college look" she wants. So I can't file for fafsa which means I wont be going to school til I'm like 24 or married..
And she's threatened to kill me and go after my friends including him.. and speaking of my friends.. for some reason now they keep telling me not to mess with him.. And I'm wondering why.. but it's because they know his past.. they don't think he can change.. and it's like I believe he can, he has changed somewhat.. And my feelings have been pretty much on point lately... so I honestly don't know if I should keep pursuing him.. or if I should let everyone else win and just give up. I love'em to death.. and I wish that everyone else would understant it..
Sorry if I bored anyone.. :D And this is why I haven't been on charas as much..
-
The patient are rewarded...
I'm was in a similar relationship, but I ended it because I could never see the girl as well. I still really care about her, and maybe one day would try again, but in the end, perhaps you just need to move on.
I really feel like a dick saying that, but sometimes, it's for the best...
-
God, why can't people have easier relationship problems, preferably those not involving death threats?
Mid, I would have to say its hard to have a relationship if you can't actually get to the personal interaction part easily and often. Its hard, but like Shady said, maybe later.
-
You are not born with depression. -_-
-
You've never seen a suicidal baby?
-
Chemical imbalances are a natural thing that a human being can be born with Rev. It may take time for them to show, but a child is born with them. Manic Depression, Bipolar Disorder, Schizophrenia, etc, they're ALL caused in the genes.
-
Hey if science says you can be born gay, I bet you can be born depressed.
-
Yeah... this is some bullshit :'(
-
I think you guys are looking beyond my actual point ._.
Point is that you aren't born cutting you're stomach and having suicidal thoughts. You let it get to that point is what I'm saying.
:flower: :flower: :flower:
I WAS BORN GAY
:flower: :flower: :flower:
-
Which is why I say that if you allowed yourself to fall down into depression, and then are not prepared to get yourself out of it again, you're not worthy of people's time.
Aaaaaaaaanyway...
>.>
<.<
-
Originally posted by Revolution911
:flower: :flower: :flower:
I WAS BORN GAY
:flower: :flower: :flower:
QFT
-
Originally posted by Revolution911
I think you guys are looking beyond my actual point ._.
Point is that you aren't born cutting you're stomach and having suicidal thoughts. You let it get to that point is what I'm saying.
:flower: :flower: :flower:
I WAS BORN GAY
:flower: :flower: :flower:
Well a gay baby isnt exactly going to have homosexually feelings when it's born you know.
OH SCIENCE TELLS US THIS AND MUST BE TRUE
Hmm...
-
This thread turned stupid.
-
No, we just ran out of problems.
I'm sure you have problems Meis. Can we help at all?
-
Originally posted by HackersTotalMassLaser
Originally posted by Revolution911
I think you guys are looking beyond my actual point ._.
Point is that you aren't born cutting you're stomach and having suicidal thoughts. You let it get to that point is what I'm saying.
:flower: :flower: :flower:
I WAS BORN GAY
Well a gay baby isnt exactly going to have homosexually feelings when it's born you know.
OH SCIENCE TELLS US THIS AND MUST BE TRUE
Hmm...[/B]
Straight babies usually don't even like girls till later on. I would assume it's the same with a gay child. So I really don't get what you're trying to say. Its not hard to figure out with common sense. It's not like gay people are from an alien planet. They're still a human. You seem to not like gays.
In short, I hope your son is gay. :flower:
Seriously don't turn this into a debate on gays. Make a new thread for it if you want it that badly.
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Can we get away from the ****ing depression and genetics from the FIRST problem and deal with the others?
Goddamn, people >.>
-
Theres only 2 others. And I already answered one of them.
I JUST DON'T WANNA READ MIDS BIG LONG SCARY POST :(
-
Originally posted by Revolution911
Originally posted by HackersTotalMassLaser
Originally posted by Revolution911
I think you guys are looking beyond my actual point ._.
Point is that you aren't born cutting you're stomach and having suicidal thoughts. You let it get to that point is what I'm saying.
:flower: :flower: :flower:
I WAS BORN GAY
Well a gay baby isnt exactly going to have homosexually feelings when it's born you know.
OH SCIENCE TELLS US THIS AND MUST BE TRUE
Hmm...[/B]
Straight babies usually don't even like girls till later on. I would assume it's the same with a gay child. So I really don't get what you're trying to say. Its not hard to figure out with common sense. It's not like gay people are from an alien planet. They're still a human. You seem to not like gays.
In short, I hope your son is gay. :flower:
Seriously don't turn this into a debate on gays. Make a new thread for it if you want it that badly.[/B]
Me? you're the one that's saying you can't be born gay. No one is making a debate on gays. At least I am not. As I see it, we were talking about being born depressed/gays, not about liking gays/depressed people. Your assumtions led and started this.
So please don't assume things of me. Makes an ass out of u and me.
...
Back on subject, I remember wanting to say this to DB once:
Many people here would think that leaving her, cause "she's being annoying" and looking for attention, is the best option. I however don't see it this way. She definitly needs someone in her life to msintain her psychological balance. Even if she says you should leave her , she's is trying to do this out of care (love if you want to call it) but of course, theres a bit of confusion and disturbed emotions on play here.
I dont know how far you've gone to express your love for her, and seemingly she's rather emotionally difficult to get to, so that might come down to be painful not just for her, but if you really love her, for you as well. An emotionally disturbed person will most likely like to be alone, but will not want to feel alone. If what you say its true that her father yells and her mother is not helping either, then that can really make her feel alone from a family point of view.
Her going to theraphy seems like a good step for me (and should be for everyone else). Love her, express that everyday in ways that you cant put emotional breakouts on the edge, and in a way that she understands it. I dont know her past, and what she likes or dislikes, or how old she is. But do know that before she became emotionally damaged, she wasn't.
Also, don't diss her parents for not helping her, if you havent I congratulate you. Even though they're not helping they're still those who brought her into this world, love them at least for that. And I know, and I say this with a security in my mind, that a good portion of her distress is cause of her parents, meaning that she loves them. If there would be no love, there would be no suffering. She can still grow up to maybe not talk them, but still hold some respect for them.
Now, you say that she doesn't like you telling her that she's a good person. Then don't, instead ask her " do you think I am good person?" In her thoughts she knows you are (or else she wouldn't say that she's bad). Then someway or another after that let her know that through you she can change, that through your love things can change.
Dont try to cheer her up verbally. If you can, always embrace her someway. If it be your arm around her, or hugging her. She's been hurt by words, I dont know if physicly by someone else, so this might be the best approach. Let her talk to you first, if she donest say anything, dont say anything. If she says something negative about anything, say something positive about both of you together. If she gets mad, for it, don't try to talk about it, tell her or show her that you love her in that moment. If she starts talking about some of her problems, listen carefully, and try to reverse that negativity.
Don't feed her emotional ego. Talking someone out of suicide is touchy. And I dont know what you might have used for those times.
But use yourself in the fray. If she loves you (and I dont say this doubtfully but more like for example), then seeing you try to sacrifice (not literally) yourself will put her to think of you instead of her. You need to get her to stop thinking of herself... i say going out to places is best; Makes the mind feel less jailed. And I know you;re sacrificing yourself daily with her, and that's good.
Don't let this be like "it doesnt bother me that much anymore". I take it, for you it must better because, maybe it's less heart-ache, and in a way it's ok. But I think I just mean that, don't stop caring much. No pain no gain. Sometimes feeling pain for love is what may hold you through. Believe it's worth it. Believe that in the end it will be changed.
Yeah tis what I remember with things I got out from 1 or 2 experiences, and a lot of other things I remember about my oldest brother talking about when he had problems with his wife when they were girlfriend and boyfriend. They were so for 6 years, they suffered a lot emotionally, and I know, cause I saw it. Not for something like this, but suffering is suffering.
I know you said that you've learned to deal with it a bit (or a whole lot) but this is what this thread is for and this is why you posted; to respond and be responded.
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Originally posted by Dragonium
No, we just ran out of problems.
I'm sure you have problems Meis. Can we help at all?
Nope, I've already sorted my problems out with people over MSN like problems should be sorted out.
-
My assumptions had nothing to do with it. You made the first gay comment and I just ignored it with a light hearted "I WAS BORN GAY." Then out of nowhere another one. The second didn't even help the depression debate AT ALL. It was just random. I mean, I KIND OF see an attempt at making a connection between being born gay and depressed, but its very loose and 2 very different attributes to be born with.
Not to mention, I said you cant be born gay? What in the hell? Seriously thats just flat out bull.
Well a gay baby isnt exactly going to have homosexually feelings when it's born you know.
OH SCIENCE TELLS US THIS AND MUST BE TRUE
Hmm...
Now if you look at that, I think its pretty obvious that you really don't think you can be born gay. With the sarcastic OH SCIENCE remark. OH PLEASE TELL ME NOW HOW IT WASN'T INTENDED TO BE SARCASTIC AT ALL AND YOU JUST FORGOT TO LET GO OF SHIFT.
WE'VE BEEN DOWN THIS ROAD BEFORE, KIJUKI.
DEJA VU ANYONE?
i luv u kijuki :flower:
-------------------------------------------------------------------
OKAY I READ MIDNIGHTS WHOLE BIG PARAGRAPH.
Seriously is there ANYWAY you could've made that shorter?
Anyway, if I were in your shoes, I'd probably start going after him (wow I'm gay) again. If you really do love him that much, it doesn't matter if you don't get to see each other every day or something. Call him, text him, whatever you can do to stay in touch. As for your mom, its not her relationship. In reality, it really doesn't matter what she says about it. What can she do? Threaten you some more? As if she'd act on any of the threats. Just go after what you want. Also, when you see him, treat it like you see him everyday, don't let distance get to ya.
AND
GO
BACK
TO
SCHOOL
AS
SOON
AS
POSSIBLE
:flower:
i luv u 2 mid :flower:
-
Uh....
Er.....
So not touching that whole debate. Every time I try, I get attacked by the school's GSA. And that's not fun. They know where I live, I think. o.o
But... I do have kind of a problem.
I've had a crush on a guy all year, which is you know, normal. So I finally asked him out. He got all happy and said yes, and so we started e-mailing back and forth. The one time we actually had a chance to do something (since I live an hour away from my school and thus him), we were going to, but then I couldn't do it and we had to cancel.
I've been trying to get in touch and set something else up for two weeks now. Sometimes we talked at first, but every time I tried to set something up (with me driving, mind you, not him), he's just go silent for an hour or two until I gave up. Now he just ignores me. My friend says I should ask his friends for his phone number and assault him or something. That sounds more than vaguely stalkerish.
So.... I dunno.
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You could get his phone number, or just do your best to get his friends to put in a good word for you and say "hey, you should talk to her". It'd maybe be better for you to find out why he hasn't been talking first though; if you just launch in without knowing the reasons and allowing for them, it might put him off.
Overall you should be persistent. If you really like him then it'd be silly to let him go just like that.
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Agreed. While patience is key in some situations, in your particular spot, I would say, don't give up. If he's messing with you, that's not right, but at least he should give you a chance, since he did say yes when you asked him out. Talk to his friends, see what they have to say, maybe get his number from them too, it does sound kinda stalkerish, but it really isn't. If you hadn't asked him out, then it would be stalkerish lol.
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Did you meet him yet? I mean like, not online? I'm just asking cause it sounds like you 2 met online.
If it's online, it might be because he's embarrassed or something ya know. Even if he's shown you pictures, he might be shy. People generally look better in pictures, and they aren't exactly going to send the ones they look normal in if theres a better one. If thats the case, just ask him about it and let him now it's really not an issue.
If thats not the case, then just ask him straight forward. "How come you seem against the idea of meeting up together?" (Over the phone of course so thats a yes on getting his phone number).
Either way I think it boils down to him being shy. A lot of people, as weird as it is, are A LOT better talking on the internet or on the phone and are scared of talking face to face because they know they aren't the smoothest talkers or anything, ya know?
Long distance is NEVER easy. I personally don't believe you can REALLY know someone unless you've talked to them face to face.
-
Originally posted by Revolution911
My assumptions had nothing to do with it. You made the first gay comment and I just ignored it with a light hearted "I WAS BORN GAY." Then out of nowhere another one. The second didn't even help the depression debate AT ALL. It was just random. I mean, I KIND OF see an attempt at making a connection between being born gay and depressed, but its very loose and 2 very different attributes to be born with.
Not to mention, I said you cant be born gay? What in the hell? Seriously thats just flat out bull.
Well a gay baby isnt exactly going to have homosexually feelings when it's born you know.
OH SCIENCE TELLS US THIS AND MUST BE TRUE
Hmm...
Now if you look at that, I think its pretty obvious that you really don't think you can be born gay. With the sarcastic OH SCIENCE remark. OH PLEASE TELL ME NOW HOW IT WASN'T INTENDED TO BE SARCASTIC AT ALL AND YOU JUST FORGOT TO LET GO OF SHIFT.
WE'VE BEEN DOWN THIS ROAD BEFORE, KIJUKI.
DEJA VU ANYONE?
i luv u kijuki :flower:
[/B]
lmao!
lol ok, yes it's all obvious and right down true cause your assumtions are all true and fact, K? love you too. *kiss kiss*
---
I have to agree with Rev. I think he might be shy. If this whole fiasco, is mainly being handled online (even though you live closer than most people), then most likely, he isn't sure of what to do. In a way, he might be even afraid as to what might happen.
You also have to note other possibilities, like parents. "What will my parents think of this?" "WIll they approve?" "What if they found out"
even if he might be older already, parents can still be a concern.
Of course other things can come down from his own skepticism. "What if I get to know her and she isnt what I hoped for?" "What if
she rejects me because of how I really am?" "What if it all turns out bad?"
Calling on surprise can be troublesome if his parent/s dont expect it (if parents are in play). But maybe you're past that point.
As to how approach the problem, I guess you could ask his friends to let him know that you're interested in him, and you would really like to talk. Believe it or not, friends like to inform this kind of things, just carefully how you say it; they can also transform your words into things you didn't say.
But yeah, seem like a bloom; keep trying and see what you get. If you know where he lives and adress and all, send a letter. This, by experience, does a lot for you and gets attention. Email have nothing on regular mail when it comes to get attention. again however parents might be a concern, os if you would send a letter, just dont put anything too giving. Break the shyness one way or another though.
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No, I've know him in real life. Asked him out in real life, et cetera. Except he's all spazzy when it comes to the phone. I call him, give him my number, et cetera, and he's all like, beh, let's talk on the INTERNETS. Grrr.
If he's just shy, then why was he okay the first couple times we tried setting stuff up?
-
I still say he's shy. Maybe something happened he doesent wanna tell you about. Ask him straight, seems like the only way.
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To Phayre:
Yeah some people are just more at home talking on the internet and junk. My girlfriend prefers it sometimes. I mean, you can't do smilies over the phone! It's just so limiting! Or look at porn while you talk. Not that he is. it's not impossible though.
i haf problems too
Okay so like the other week I bought a Wii and Twilight Princess and I started playing it and it was all cool and everything, but then my girl comes over and she's all like "Ugh leave that wii alone and play with me" and I'm like "C'mon baby just give videgames a try, I'm sure you'll like them."
BAD IDEA.
Basically, she played it non-stop for like the next week. I've racked up about 5 hours gameplay whereas her save file is at 24 hours. She also borrowed my wind waker to play at home (Her brother has a gamecube). Now whenever I talk to her it's like
"ARE YOU PLAYING ZELDA?!"
"No honey, that's just the wind-"
"YOU'RE NOT FURTHER THAN ME ARE YOU?!"
"I swear I'm not!"
"IF YOU'RE FURTHER THAN ME OUR RELATIONSHIP IS OVER."
and the thing is I kinda am further than her because like I haven't done as many dungeons but I've totally got like a zillion more heart pieces and bugs and stuff. How do I break it to her that I want to play my own games sometimes?
Also while I'm not so sure that it's possible to be "born depressed" I believe it's probably possible to be born with a higher tendency to become depressed.
EDITZ: Also for dragoniumblaze, my girl gets depressed sometimes and (it's like the other guy sayz) the best cure is to, you know, do stuff to get her mind off of it. LIKE FREAKING ZELDA. Or camping w/e
-
dragoniumblaze
Rofl.
-
Well...my girlfriend gets pissed when I beat her in Street Fighter. But hey, its not my fault I'm a total badass.
-
http://www.qwantz.com/comics/comic2-1054.png
-
You people...
I love love. But I hate the fact that most chicks who like me only want one thing. I don't know what it is with girls saying guys are like that... cause they're just as bad. No one wants to be in love. No one wants to be their partner's best friend. Sure, they say they do, but that's usually a feint. Which kind of sucks when you're looking for someone who's not like that, but can't find them...
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Solution: don't be at all sexy.
Once you master this art, you will know the true Way of the Dragonium™.
-
Originally posted by Dragonium
Solution: don't be at all sexy.
Once you master this art, you will know the true Way of the Dragonium™.
I've been a master of that for ages, it seems >.>
-
Me too. We could start a club :o
-
Originally posted by Red Giant
http://www.qwantz.com/comics/comic2-1054.png
Let's shoot some dudes!
-
Originally posted by Red Giant
http://www.qwantz.com/comics/comic2-1054.png
That, sir, is win.
-
Originally posted by Revolution911
I JUST DON'T WANNA READ MIDS BIG LONG SCARY POST :(
But you'll read kijuki's?! To hell with ye! :dry:
-
Originally posted by Midnight
Originally posted by Revolution911
I JUST DON'T WANNA READ MIDS BIG LONG SCARY POST :(
But you'll read kijuki's?! To hell with ye! :dry: [/B]
I made a response to yours :(
luv u baeb
-
umhmm *rolling of teh eyes* I still love you :heart:
-
Here's my tragic tale:
I start looking for a job and after 5 weeks of going around looking for one, I catch a job at the theater nearby. I jump at the chance to take it because I just wanted a job and some cash. Well, I get hired and start the next day. Everyone I work with is friendly and everything. Well, after a few days of working there, I become interested in this girl that I worked with. It seemed like she was interested in me, too, the way she always got close to me and stuff. Just how she acted. Anyhow, one day we both closed together, which meant we had to clean stuff. We took a while and her mom called, asking what she what was taking her so long and she explained that she was training me and stuff. Well, after we finish cleaning up, we both leave and walk her out to her car. She later tells her mom about me and stuff, explaining everything again on why she was late. Also, that night we had talked about a lot of stuff, her current relationship that was "on the rocks" and just some slightly personal things about ourselves, getting to know each other and what not.
Well, from that day on, she starts flirting with me, and me being me, I flirt with her as well, though it was small, harmless stuff. Anyway, after a few days, she breaks up with her boyfriend. A little before they broke up, she and I had been text messaging each other a lot, just talking about things. So, they break up, leaving things open for me and her. Well, we start being more flirtatious at work, though we did keep it professional when needed. Of course, everyone there was tight, so everything that we did, people didn't like because we weren't her and her ex. So yeah, things progress, and it seemed like nothing was wrong at all. I liked her a lot and she seemed to like me a lot, too.
Eventually her ex-boyfriend started asking everyone that was working one morning about me and the girl. Most people just play it cool and say that we're just friends because they don't want him being all emo. Well, a couple of days later, she and I kissed. And it was something new to me, and it felt nice. Well, yeah, anyway, things seemed to be swimmingly good, but that was the turning point of this seemingly cute "love story." That night, she texted me, saying she wanted to see the Transformers movie and she wanted me to come along. I agreed to it. Then in the morning, she calls me and asks me not to come because her ex-bf is there. So, I ask to meet her after the movie for lunch. She calls me after the movie and says she can't because her mom wants her home. Well, after getting dressed, I wasn't just going to just sit at home, so I got up and went out for a while and asked her to meet me at the farside of the parking lot out side of the theater a few minutes before she started working the evening. She meets me and we talk for a little while, kiss, and she goes to work and I leave.
Later that night she calls me and sounds really nervous and told me what happened. I feel bad and hope that she's alright. About an hour later, I get a call from her brother, who's in the Army and just got back from Iraq. He tells me to back off his sister and minorly threatens me to not touch her or talk to her or anything. I agree to it and brush it off. He calls me back later, but this time he's very agitated. He's cussing me out like mad o nthe other end and threatening to kill me and throw me through a wall and all other kinds of threats. He says all these things because he saw all the texts messages and pictures we sent to each other (nothing graphic... if you get my meaning). He continuously threatens me and when I just keep quiet, he hangs up on me. His mother calls me back later and leaves message on my phone, apologizing for her son, but then threatens me herself. So, after considering the safest options, me and my parents all decided that it would be best to quit my job in order to keep me safe from those psychotic people. Well, it was the end of that, and the girl and I didn't contact each other after that incident. But upon my discovery yesterday, it became clear, after much assumption, that she had used me just to have a fling, something new and fun for a little while. And it also became clear that had set me up for that episode with her family. I looked through some photos on her boyfriend's and mother's myspaces and one picture has all of them in it, smiling, showing how happy they are. You'd think that after all of that if she was genuine about hw she felt, she wouldn't look as happy, but she was definitely happy. So, in the end, it comes down to me having been a tool of the girl in order to achieve her small goal to have a fun experience for a short while.
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god im glad im not a teenager anymore.
:Plight:
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Ah, I gotta agree with Gem here. Teenage girls can be ****ing stupid as hell... You just got to let it go and move on. Assuming you had fun with her, just think about it as an experience, move on, and don't worry about it. If she never cared about you, well, that's her own loss. I know how it feels to be used, to be rejected, you just got to move past it. I firmly believe that there is someone out there for everyone.
I'm finally lucky myself, because I've got a girl that actually makes me happy, and I really want to be with her. So, luckily for me, I don't have any problems lol. I actually came up with this thread because I was having a hard time choosing between Alicia (the girl I'm with) and Eve (the girl I was with when I met Alicia). In the end, I obviously chose Alicia, and so far, it's worked out well... :D
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Originally posted by SonicChaos7
Here's my tragic tale:
I start looking for a job and after 5 weeks of going around looking for one, I catch a job at the theater nearby. I jump at the chance to take it because I just wanted a job and some cash. Well, I get hired and start the next day. Everyone I work with is friendly and everything. Well, after a few days of working there, I become interested in this girl that I worked with. It seemed like she was interested in me, too, the way she always got close to me and stuff. Just how she acted. Anyhow, one day we both closed together, which meant we had to clean stuff. We took a while and her mom called, asking what she what was taking her so long and she explained that she was training me and stuff. Well, after we finish cleaning up, we both leave and walk her out to her car. She later tells her mom about me and stuff, explaining everything again on why she was late. Also, that night we had talked about a lot of stuff, her current relationship that was "on the rocks" and just some slightly personal things about ourselves, getting to know each other and what not. Well, from that day on, she starts flirting with me, and me being me, I flirt with her as well, though it was small, harmless stuff. Anyway, after a few days, she breaks up with her boyfriend. A little before they broke up, she and I had been text messaging each other a lot, just talking about things. So, they break up, leaving things open for me and her. Well, we start being more flirtatious at work, though we did keep it professional when needed. Of course, everyone there was tight, so everything that we did, people didn't like because we weren't her and her ex. So yeah, things progress, and it seemed like nothing was wrong at all. I liked her a lot and she seemed to like me a lot, too. Eventually her ex-boyfriend started asking everyone that was working one morning about me and the girl. Most people just play it cool and say that we're just friends because they don't want him being all emo. Well, a couple of days later, she and I kissed. And it was something new to me, and it felt nice. Well, yeah, anyway, things seemed to be swimmingly good, but that was the turning point of this seemingly cute "love story." That night, she texted me, saying she wanted to see the Transformers movie and she wanted me to come along. I agreed to it. Then in the morning, she calls me and asks me not to come because her ex-bf is there. So, I ask to meet her after the movie for lunch. She calls me after the movie and says she can't because her mom wants her home. Well, after getting dressed, I wasn't just going to just sit at home, so I got up and went out for a while and asked her to meet me at the farside of the parking lot out side of the theater a few minutes before she started working the evening. She meets me and we talk for a little while, kiss, and she goes to work and I leave. Later that night she calls me and sounds really nervous and told me what happened. I feel bad and hope that she's alright. About an hour later, I get a call from her brother, who's in the Army and just got back from Iraq. He tells me to back off his sister and minorly threatens me to not touch her or talk to her or anything. I agree to it and brush it off. He calls me back later, but this time he's very agitated. He's cussing me out like mad o nthe other end and threatening to kill me and throw me through a wall and all other kinds of threats. He says all these things because he saw all the texts messages and pictures we sent to each other (nothing graphic... if you get my meaning). He continuously threatens me and when I just keep quiet, he hangs up on me. His mother calls me back later and leaves message on my phone, apologizing for her son, but then threatens me herself. So, after considering the safest options, me and my parents all decided that it would be best to quit my job in order to keep me safe from those psychotic people. Well, it was the end of that, and the girl and I didn't contact each other after that incident. But upon my discovery yesterday, it became clear, after much assumption, that she had used me just to have a fling, something new and fun for a little while. And it also became clear that had set me up for that episode with her family. I looked through some photos on her boyfriend's and mother's myspaces and one picture has all of them in it, smiling, showing how happy they are. You'd think that after all of that if she was genuine about hw she felt, she wouldn't look as happy, but she was definitely happy. So, in the end, it comes down to me having been a tool of the girl in order to achieve her small goal to have a fun experience for a short while.
Aw, I went through something like that, I feel stupid and embarassed about it but I trust you guys to respond maturely about it, but Awhile back, (year or so) I met a girl online, and we start to like eachother. I come flat out and tell her, and she says she likes me back. about three or four months later, I, after she asked me not to tell her friends about it, find out WHY. It gets loose I like her, and all her friend flip because she apparently already has a boyfriend, so it turns out she was just using me to toy with me and have fun. In the end, it comes down to she was a bitch.
It's not too close to what happened to unless you really look. It hurts and you feel dumb (I'm assuming it applies for you too) but eventually you come to the realization that they weren't right for you and they were probably aren't right for anyone after being able to use someone like that.
Hope everything ends up alright for you. Oh, and by the way, YES, it WAS A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP, and I learned my lesson with that case, ok? ok.
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Hey Sonic, there's a new tool out to handle these sorts of things. It's called "the Enter button".
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Sonic's not a teen...... <<..... he's 19... And sonic stop being so damn angry about it. Things coulda been worse.. she coulda went so far as to have you buying her shyt, paying her bills, and telling you she loved you and THEN leave you. There are other girls babe.
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Originally posted by Midnight
Sonic's not a teen...... <<..... he's 19... And sonic stop being so damn angry about it. Things coulda been worse.. she coulda went so far as to have you buying her shyt, paying her bills, and telling you she loved you and THEN leave you. There are other girls babe.
I'm not as angry about it as I was a bit after it happened. But still, it's quite annoying to think that I allowed myself to get duped by dreck like her.
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Originally posted by Midnight
Sonic's not a teen...... <<..... he's 19...
Absolutely. Nineteen doesn't end with 'teen'. I have no idea what Gemini's smoking.
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Dude, that sucks.. some girls are asshats about relationships, nothing you can do.
Originally posted by Razor
Hey Sonic, there's a new tool out to handle these sorts of things. It's called "the Enter button".
I agree.
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Originally posted by Shady Ultima
Well, I was lookin at another forum, and there's a quite popular thread called the Love and Relationships thread. It's there for people struggling with relationships.
And since I'm sure EVERYONE deals with these kinds of things, I figured I might bring it over here.
So basically, when you have a problem with friends, girls/boys, parents, or any other relationship really, you could talk about it in this thread, and hopefully, people will give you some advice.
So, please don't spam, and if you have any relationship problems, let 'em flow!
Hay I know where a great board for love and relationships is going on.
http://speakingoflove.freeforums.org/portal.php
Try it and you will get some good answers there.
BB
Applebit. :Plight: