Charas-Project

Off-Topic => Creative arts => Topic started by: RPG LORD on October 10, 2007, 01:51:14 PM

Title: The Worm
Post by: RPG LORD on October 10, 2007, 01:51:14 PM

As he managed to crawl through the tiny opening of the basement door, he finally found his way to the kitchen..
There were his friends, the Fly and the Ant, who were both examining a piece of cherry cake.
He tried to smell its flavour, but this only before he realised he couldn't really smell much.
However, the plate on which the piece of cake was lying was rather high, so he asked the Fly to carry him upwards.
With internal doubts the Fly carried him upwards onto the plate, on which it layed him down beside the piece of cake.
The Fly intended to have a taste of the upper layer, and so landed itself onto the creamy upper layer of the cake, before making the discovery that it was stuck.
The Fly tried to struggle free, but was eventually buried between the sugar and other sweet stuff, and it eventually suffocated.
'It's nice that there still are bugs prepared to sacrifice their lives for another's joy,' the Worm thought and he started digging into the cake slowly, while the Ant found its way outside.
---
This may be a bit messy, but this is just some short 'story' which I whipped up a few hours ago. Copy+Pasted from my deviantART gallery at Eli Dirkx on deviantART (http://elidirkx.deviantart.com/)

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Post by: Prpl_Mage on October 10, 2007, 02:36:59 PM

I... Don't get it...

It wasn't deep, there were no visible metafores or anything that kept me reading other than to reply to this...

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Post by: RPG LORD on October 10, 2007, 03:27:09 PM

Well, there's absolutely nothing to it. I don't even know why the hell I posted this.

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Post by: Moosetroop11 on October 10, 2007, 09:32:08 PM

It's odd, it's like a depressing children's book :p

I kinda agree with mage. Sorry >.>

There's nothing wrong with writing stuff like this of course, but we're basically having to judge it as a deep or engaging piece of writing which obviously you never meant it to be.

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Post by: RPG LORD on October 11, 2007, 07:19:52 AM

Nah, just did this out of boredom actually.

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Post by: drenrin2120 on October 12, 2007, 12:55:30 AM

Haha, google advertisements make me laugh. =P

But uh, yeah, I started reading it and went blank.  :|

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Post by: RPG LORD on October 12, 2007, 03:23:06 PM

Yeah, I guess it does have such an effect.

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Post by: Boba_Fettuccini on October 12, 2007, 08:01:28 PM

interesting.. very interesting.. could be much better if you did a more first person-ish view, instead of a drawling narrative.

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Post by: lilsniffs3 on October 12, 2007, 10:45:25 PM

It sorta reminds me of when I tried comedical writing. Some lines:

Who am I? I'm (insert name here)

Before the ten hour trip, I got a present. It was Kingdom Hearts Chain of Memories. (Yes, I was addicted to anything KH)

The following paragraph takes place between the minutes of 6:00 and 6:01 pm. (I have a short paragraph of boredom, then): I FIGURED OUT MY DAD DIDN'T START THE CAR.


It sucks. But that thing about me addicted to KH was still there.

I think this is much better than I can think of.

 

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Post by: Phayre on October 13, 2007, 01:05:25 AM

I never saw the point in shorts like this, except for experimentational writing purposes or warm-up excercises. I guess it could count as prose poetry, but not really. Whatever the heck it is, it's depressing (maybe because I'm depressed? or perhaps because I find myself just skimming through it and absorbing nothing), and I greatly dislike it.
But.... uhmmm..... keep writing? *thumbs up*

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Post by: lilsniffs3 on October 13, 2007, 01:47:51 AM

Hey Phayre, hows it going.

Anyway, what a dull ending to a fly's life. This fly's death was worse than being swatted.   :violin:

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Post by: MrMister on October 13, 2007, 03:35:08 AM

didnt read voted crap