Charas-Project
Off-Topic => All of all! => Topic started by: Dominicy on December 12, 2007, 04:33:38 AM
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Some of you might remember the topic I made a while ago regarding a friend (Kaylie) of mine that I started to like. In the end, we were going out. Alittle later, she says that she doesn't want a relationship yet, and that I didn't make it very easy to say that (which really made me feel good, in a way). I'm ok with that, but ask her why. She told me it was because she hd Dysthymia, and she was afraid of things getting too serious between us, and she ends up breaking my heart.
I told her I was willing to wait for her, and asked her to tell me if she evr wanted to see if things would work out between us... Recently, it's seriously started to sink in that she was really in pain. Her friends never leave her alone about asking for help, half the people she knows have a thing for her, her mom's a total bitch, she has an iron deficiency, she has low self esteem, her friend gets beaten up or hurt pretty much every other day, one of her friends was talking about suicide, her ex is obsessed with her and hates my guts... The list goes on. I've been really worried, scared, even, and I'm not sure what to do..
She says that I help and that I make it worth dealing with this stuff, but things haven't gotten any better, from what I've seen. I'm just scared that if I try and talk to her about it too much, she'll end up deciding it's not worth it and won't talk to me. You guys tend to have some good ideas, so I guess I'll turn to you.
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lololol titz or gtfo.... thats your answer ERM
buy her something
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I'm not a good idea machine, and I'm fairly suicidal and most likely mentally unstable and clinically depressed, so I won't post anything that could result in the death of millions.
Today.
But I would suggest talking to her and keeping her company, but keeping your distance at the same time while using your instinct to tell when she's feeling crowded. It's best to try and keep her in a good comfort level in any way that you can. Now I'm not saying to treat her like a queen, but don't wait on her hand and foot. If she feels special and if you move in gradually, you can get around to whatever you want to. A little patience and a bit of careful understanding can get you pretty far if you use it right.
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Yeah, just try to make her relax, do your best to make her feel comfortable.
She might not be ready for a relationship and you have to accept that, try not to make her fel forced to be with you, that will make her feel even more cornered. Just do your best to keep her mind away from all the other things and make sure that she knows that she is the center of attention if you are around.
That's the best I can do since I don't know any of you I'm afriad.
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Thanks, everyone.. Things have been a bit... busy, for me, lately, some of you might've noticed. I'll wait for her, because it's all I can really do. I still care about her, and she does me, but if she feels like she may end up hurting me some day, I just have to accept that and wait for her to see I'm with her, '1000%'.
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Here's a little different piece of advice...
How good does it make you feel being around her? If you aren't sure about her, or are in the slightest bit annoyed by the whole situation, stop and think about things. You're doing this for your own benefit, at least 90% of you is, regardless of what you think. No human is THAT caring unless you are getting something out of it. What you get out of it is for you to decide it's worth. If you don't feel like your getting your worth, or are ever going to, than jump ship.
You're in high school right? Getting to attached at this point could be a bad thing, 'specially if you have plans for college, which could make her in to a total anchor if you do decide to go out and continue to do so into college. (A high school sweet heart isn't worth sacrificing your college experience for.) Even if she does have a lot in common with you, it's not like you wont find someone like that again, with a better situation. I don't want to sound heartless, but rethink YOUR priorities before you worry about her problems.
If you do decide to jump ship, do it gently, just slowly break away from her, if you don't share a lot of classes with her, than the process is easier. Another good strategy is to set her up with someone else, then she'll most likely push you away on her own. From the sounds of things with that stalker guy of hers, maybe it's in your own safety to stay away.
Remember, this is your life, try to live it by what you feel is right, but your heart will lead you to a lot of bad situations if you let, be sure to keep a healthy balance between it and your brain. This is your choice, and you asked for advice, this is by no means to be taken seriously if you don't like it. Good luck either way.
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dysthymia
Looks pretty brutal.
I'd say the best thing to do is just be there for her. It says poor self image, well try and fight that, give her compliments. Good luck.
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Apex: I see what you mean. To add to the complication, neither of us have met in person (forgot to mention that, sorry), but honestly, right now, the thing I'm most afraid of is that she does push me away for someone else. She's had alot of relationships n the past, so I'm not completely sure if she broke up with some or any of them because of the Dysthymia, and if that's why she did, why she went right back in.. For now, though, sure it's cheesy, but she is my priority, because I care too much about her just to leave her by her self.
Shady Ultima: I do compliment her actually. Quite a bit, and she very clearly does appreciate it (or is a good actor). I more try and focus my compliments on telling her that there's nothing wrong with her, in my eyes. She's pretty, but that probably just means that she hears compliments on her looks all the time, and I'd rather not risk coming off as shallow.
Random note: Technically I'm still in 8th (Homeschooling program and blah, finish faster/slower), finishing in a few months.
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High five, followed by a strong, fluid boob punch.
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Suicide.
But seriously, I have no real advice.
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Things are getting better. She doesn't seem as worried about something.. I might've just been me over-analyzing things. At this point though, I'm not too worried about her, because it's pretty obvious things have been going good for her.
Well, unless I need to ask about something else relating to her, it's time to let the topic die, I guess. :P
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Originally posted by Snake Eater
Suicide.
But seriously, I have no real advice.
HOLEE ****. The **** man? Where you been?