Charas-Project
TESTING & WELCOME BOARD => Test & welcome board => Topic started by: Dominicy on April 20, 2009, 09:04:43 AM
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It's come to my attention by word of Darkfox that my membership isn't especially appreciated here. By his word, simply mentioning the fact that he asked for my opinion on a matter to begin with in the Charas IRC warranted ridicule on his end. If the concensus of your opinion about me is that low that my opinion is invalid to you, I don't feel the need to remain here. Those who want it, and by the sound of it, plenty more who don't have my contact information, and it's still readily available in my profile.
Without any further delay on my part, I'm leaving Charas. Without proper clarification on any misconceptions that may have been related to me by Darkfox, I doubt I'll be back.
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Yeah, go and die faggot I hate you. And so do the rest of charas.
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Yeah, go and die faggot I hate you. And so do the rest of charas.
Speak for yourself.
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...I'm such a dumbass when I'm tired...
They didn't say you were terrible, I was upset and being my usual overdefensive self. They said you were ok at spriting, not bad. And it was mainly me being angry so don't take it out on them. And your wrong about me feeling like I'm Godlike and perfect. I've got a low self esteem and I almost classify as emo. I'm relatively unpopular, I am the equivalent of a cleaning lady and I hate most of my drawings and felt like quitting over 12 times. The honest truth is, I actually don't like most of the stuff I do myself, I'm my own worst critic and because of that I just quit on projects because I feel myself as lackluster and talentless. So I lash out for a totally different reason, because I feel insignificant, because I feel small. I'm not happy and fat on the top, maybe once upon a time, but you know what?
That's not true, I only put on the happy crap so I don't bring others down around me. And even THAT I'm not too good at. I wouldn't lie about this, I suck at lying. I can't lie my way out of a paper bag. So blame me for this. I don't mean this in the messian garbage but an admission of my own guilt. I was being an *** saying all that crap because I'm bottom of the barrel. My self esteem is so bad that whenever anyone SEEMS to be saying they are better than me I shrivel up.
I'm not happy dude, probably never will be totally happy, especially with myself. And thus another reason not to. Sorry dude.
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Go and make me feel bad, writing pagelong apologies, why don't you? I'm not so sure I'll be 'rejoining' Charas now that what was said was better clarified, simply on the principles of not knowing whether or not I can indeed trust its members to be entirely honest with me or not, but bear in mind that I do accept your apology all the same. I can only hope that you understand that I wasn't entirely gathered under my sense of resolve when I called your work lack-luster - it's above average at the very least, but I do still uphold my claim that you really can't take criticism well, and I don't mean that in an offensive connotation.
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I don't mean to make you feel bad dude. It's actually me that feels bad and I didn't just want to be cheap and say simply "I'm sorry". I wanted to convey that I actually am sorry for being an ***. What I take worse than criticism is being the bad guy... and right now, that is exactly how I feel, not that this is anything new, but... eh...
I do things without thinking. Your not the first person I ticked off today... and I'm still miserable about that too. And before you say this is a trip to relieve a guilty conscience know that isn't the case, I will never NOT feel guilty and even if I resolve this I'll never be at peace for it.
I've been a jerk to Deathreaper too, my own good buddy and I suffer so much for it. I love him like a brother, same with my other close buddies. Sometimes I guess my heart just shuts off completely. I don't want pity, and I don't want sympathy. It's just the way I feel. And I hate it, it's not exactly one of the things I can stop completely.
And now I guess you now know why I chose "Dark" as part of my online name. And why my main character has two personalities. I'm kind of poking at myself.
I do very much so want to be the good guy though... not for the praise or glory but just that it feels only right. Then my stupid anger gets in the way... and when it's late I have less control. And I just blurt crap out... utter garbage.
Edit: Also, despite what Red said there, I think he's being sarcastic. I think he's moreso disappointed in me and I'm sorry to him too...
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Ok, whatev.
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It's come to my attention by word of Darkfox that my membership isn't especially appreciated here. By his word, simply mentioning the fact that he asked for my opinion on a matter to begin with in the Charas IRC warranted ridicule on his end. If the concensus of your opinion about me is that low that my opinion is invalid to you, I don't feel the need to remain here. Those who want it, and by the sound of it, plenty more who don't have my contact information, and it's still readily available in my profile.
Without any further delay on my part, I'm leaving Charas. Without proper clarification on any misconceptions that may have been related to me by Darkfox, I doubt I'll be back.
Yeah, you go with your hard to caption avatar. GTFO. :(