Charas-Project

Off-Topic => All of all! => Topic started by: ThexXtremeXx on June 11, 2009, 12:41:34 AM

Title: FMLs
Post by: ThexXtremeXx on June 11, 2009, 12:41:34 AM
Have you ever had an fml moment? (**** my life)

I did.

When I was in a fight; i tried to falcon punch.
I got a black eye.

anyone else have one?
Title: Re: FMLs
Post by: Archem on June 11, 2009, 01:02:20 AM
Every day of my life. Every instant of every moment of every day.





Thank God for antidepressants.
Title: Re: FMLs
Post by: Shady Ultima on June 11, 2009, 01:04:09 AM
EMO!!!

I've had a few... none that are really memorable though, luckily.
Title: Re: FMLs
Post by: ThexXtremeXx on June 11, 2009, 01:11:03 AM
Today, I busted my *** to help this old lady move her stuff because she was going to a nursing home. I was told I would get paid. When I finished four hours later the lady took me to a room and told me to pick out anything in her little goody bag. I got a race car as payment. FML

lol poor guy
Title: Re: FMLs
Post by: Archem on June 11, 2009, 01:13:46 AM
EMO!!!
How would you like your testicles in a blender?

...Not that I plan on touching them or anything. I don't bend that way.
Title: Re: FMLs
Post by: ThexXtremeXx on June 11, 2009, 02:19:00 AM
O.o
Title: Re: FMLs
Post by: Shady Ultima on June 11, 2009, 02:19:56 AM
How would you like your testicles in a blender?

...Not that I plan on touching them or anything. I don't bend that way.

Nice edit...

You know I'm just messing with you, even if what you said is extremely emo
Title: Re: FMLs
Post by: Archem on June 11, 2009, 03:03:42 AM
It's not really emo, but hey, you're not really good looking.


Which is why I won't touch your junk.
Title: Re: FMLs
Post by: Shady Ultima on June 11, 2009, 03:05:14 AM
Heh, I'd kinda hope you wouldn't...
Title: Re: FMLs
Post by: Archem on June 11, 2009, 03:31:20 AM
D:

I'd kinda hoped you'd want to touch mine...
Title: Re: FMLs
Post by: Emerates on June 11, 2009, 03:45:46 AM
Today, I was working in the frozen section, and it was mega-slow.  So, I decided to take a quick bathroom break.  After draining the sea monster, I debated, then slinked into the handicap stall and began to masturbate.  After about two minutes, the door opened.  I bit back a curse, but was not fully able to hide my heavy breathing.  I engaged in subterfuge, retrieving toilet paper and flushing.  As I opened the stall door, I realized the man employing the urinal was my boss.  He turned his head and asked, "Having fun?  Or was it just that hard to shit?"  Unable to think of a rebuttal, I washed my hands and said, "Sure is slow today."  FML.
Title: Re: FMLs
Post by: Shady Ultima on June 11, 2009, 03:48:29 AM
D:

I'd kinda hoped you'd want to touch mine...

Sorry Archem, that's not for me lol

And Em, man, that sucks. I actually got fired once for something similar, except I wasn't jerking it, I just was actually taking a ****, and my boss came in, asked me what the hell I was doing, and told me to punch out and go home and not to come back. I was like w/e the job sucked anyways.


Title: Re: FMLs
Post by: Valiere on June 11, 2009, 04:12:38 AM
Haha, Em, that's terrible. You're lucky you didn't get fired though.

I can only think of one job-related FML at the moment. I was working at a concession stand last summer. At the day's location, it had rained all night and morning. I didn't take this into account when I pulled down the cover on the poolside concession trailer, which had accumulated a ton of water, and it splashed all over me, soaking me from the neck down. The nearby lifeguards saw this and started cracking up. Fortunately, because of the weather it was a really slow day, and only a handful of customers saw the result of what my friends dubbed my "solo wet t-shirt contest."
Title: Re: FMLs
Post by: Archem on June 11, 2009, 04:47:03 AM
Today, I was working in the frozen section, and it was mega-slow.  So, I decided to take a quick bathroom break.  After draining the sea monster, I debated, then slinked into the handicap stall and began to masturbate.  After about two minutes, the door opened.  I bit back a curse, but was not fully able to hide my heavy breathing.  I engaged in subterfuge, retrieving toilet paper and flushing.  As I opened the stall door, I realized the man employing the urinal was my boss.  He turned his head and asked, "Having fun?  Or was it just that hard to shit?"  Unable to think of a rebuttal, I washed my hands and said, "Sure is slow today."  FML.
Guh. I can't imagine doing that in a public place (or, at least, as public as bathrooms go). Hell, I can't even drop the kids off at the pool unless it's the toilet at my house. Fantastic work.
Title: Re: FMLs
Post by: Legacy of Elecrusher on June 11, 2009, 04:56:00 AM
Multiple personalities are a pain.
Title: Re: FMLs
Post by: FFL2and3rocks on June 11, 2009, 06:33:16 AM
I pulled down the cover on the poolside concession trailer, which had accumulated a ton of water, and it splashed all over me, soaking me from the neck down.

Something similar happened to my dad once, he went to buy a beer at a concession stand, and while he was there, the awning collapsed under the weight of the water and soaked him. Everyone laughed, and the beer was free!

Hell, I can't even drop the kids off at the pool unless it's the toilet at my house.

Me neither, the last time I took a dump in a public restroom, a couple guys entered the stall next to mine and played target practice with a piece of toilet paper. o_0
 
 
 
Aaanyhoo...
Today Several years ago, my science teacher kept getting me confused with another boy. So when that boy didn't do his homework and skipped detention, guess whose parents he notified. And guess whose parents didn't believe me when I said I didn't do it and the teacher screwed up.
Title: Re: FMLs
Post by: Shady Ultima on June 11, 2009, 06:41:58 AM
Ouch.

Yea, that happened to me once. My teacher was semi-blind, and my name was right above this other kids. She was only our art teacher though, luckily, as the kid failed in every subject because he didn't bother to do anything.

So, I work hard at art, and despite the fact that I am crap at art, I get them done. I get D+ to C+ on each one. I get my report card, I have an I(incomplete work) he got a C... he never did anything, but my parents never believed me that I didn't skip all the work and they got pissed at me.
Title: Re: FMLs
Post by: Drace on June 11, 2009, 12:27:34 PM
FML? This another shortcut for gay moments? Because I don't see the connection.
Title: Re: FMLs
Post by: A Forgotten Legend on June 11, 2009, 12:39:20 PM
www.fmylife.com (http://www.fmylife.com)
Seriously.  Completely the best site I've ever spent 5 hours reading on.

Example of one from the site:
Quote
Today, I decided to confess my feelings to the girl I've had a crush on since the beginning of high school. We agreed to meet at Starbucks, but she was bringing a friend. I didn't care, because I just wanted to tell her how I felt. When I got there, I saw her making out with another girl. FML

or this one:

Quote
Today, I was doing the laundry, but couldn't tell if one basket contained dirty clothes or clean clothes. I put my head down into the basket and took a whiff to check, and smelled something strong. I looked down and noticed I had shoved my nose into my mother's dirty panties and inhaled deeply. FML


I want to get the book really bad.
Title: Re: FMLs
Post by: Felix-0 on June 11, 2009, 12:43:32 PM
I've falcom kicked someone with Cleet's on, and it works. next time you think like the falcon, go for kicks. ;)

Okay, I got exam exempt from my Biology class, so I didn't have to go to school in the morning. the thing is, I skipped the wrong morning, but I found this out AFTER I got to school.
I had no ride to school, and my parents refused to give me a ride, and It was raining. (BTW it's a good 2 miles from My house to the school) so I had to walk.
get there, and realised I Epic failed.
Title: Re: FMLs
Post by: Red Giant on June 11, 2009, 02:54:50 PM
A while ago I was putting my girlfriend to bed. I said "Night night." She replied "Night night, Libby."
Title: Re: FMLs
Post by: Felix-0 on June 11, 2009, 03:56:43 PM
o_0''
WTF
Title: Re: FMLs
Post by: Archem on June 11, 2009, 04:20:19 PM
Just how girlish of a voice do you have?

Aaanyhoo...
Today Several years ago, my science teacher kept getting me confused with another boy. So when that boy didn't do his homework and skipped detention, guess whose parents he notified. And guess whose parents didn't believe me when I said I didn't do it and the teacher screwed up.
You know what? There used to be more than one David Guevara at my high school. Unfortunately, the other one tended to follow the hispanic stereotype of skipping, failing, and causing trouble. I, on the other hand came first alphabetically in the school student listings. Guess who got a phone call every time the other David fucked up?
Title: Re: FMLs
Post by: Dragonium on June 11, 2009, 04:28:30 PM
David Guevara

DUDE YOU CAN'T POST YOUR NAME ON THE INTERNET AND THERE ARE PHOTOS AS WELL OH GOD KIRA'S GOING TO GET YOU OH GOD
Title: Re: FMLs
Post by: Archem on June 11, 2009, 04:46:19 PM
I'm doomed.

But hey, I'm cool with it. NOBODY CAN FIND ME WITHOUT A MIDDLE NAME!
Title: Re: FMLs
Post by: Felix-0 on June 11, 2009, 04:52:15 PM
Eheh, that's a cool sounding last name, I said it outload. Rolls nicely off teh tounge.
Now I shall enter your name on google and post the results of the 1st picture on the 20th page :3

:Edit:

Okay, maybe 10th page...cause 20th page was ummm...
I did not like what I saw...

:edit:
okay....not 10th page either.....

Well, this is a lesson learned, Archems name is banned from google.
Title: Re: FMLs
Post by: Archem on June 11, 2009, 05:18:32 PM
Lolyes.
Title: Re: FMLs
Post by: Apex on June 12, 2009, 03:45:35 AM
I hate this phrase it's stupid... Also, SHADY, YOU CHANGED YOUR AVA!!! WHAT'S THE DEAL MAN?!
Title: Re: FMLs
Post by: Shady Ultima on June 12, 2009, 03:57:01 AM
Haha, it's for the avatar week. Opposite week for mine made it easy, because I've had the same since I joined.
Title: Re: FMLs
Post by: Felix-0 on June 12, 2009, 11:44:30 AM
Ahaahah. What phrase do you hate Apex?
Title: Re: FMLs
Post by: Apex on June 12, 2009, 04:06:28 PM
The one that this topic is about. I don't want to say it, that's how much I despise it.
Title: Re: FMLs
Post by: X_marks_the_ed on June 12, 2009, 07:37:45 PM
I told a couple of girls that I wasn't going to the prom because "I've accepted who I am."
I was referring to being a lifetime bachelor, but I don't think they took it that way.




When an acquaintance of mine discovered my Yahoo! answers account.
Then he asked why everyone that asks the questions I answer are so stupid.
Title: Re: FMLs
Post by: Archem on June 12, 2009, 09:39:58 PM
Archem is like Che.
I'm also like Pedobear.

Photoshop magic! Happen!
Title: Re: FMLs
Post by: Dragonium on June 12, 2009, 11:27:38 PM
I'm also like Pedobear.

Photoshop magic! Happen!

No. It's late, and you don't pay me enough.
Title: Re: FMLs
Post by: Archem on June 13, 2009, 12:01:20 AM
I don't pay you at all!
Title: Re: FMLs
Post by: Shady Ultima on June 13, 2009, 03:02:48 AM
The red wings lost the cup in game 7, and I'm a huge wing fan. Now I have to hear about Cindy and the Divers for the next year + about how good they are...
Title: Re: FMLs
Post by: Emerates on June 15, 2009, 03:33:03 AM
Today, I was working in the frozen section, and it was mega-slow.  So, I decided to take a quick bathroom break.  After draining the sea monster, I debated, then slinked into the handicap stall and began to masturbate.  After about two minutes, the door opened.  I bit back a curse, but was not fully able to hide my heavy breathing.  I engaged in subterfuge, retrieving toilet paper and flushing.  As I opened the stall door, I realized the man employing the urinal was my boss.  He turned his head and asked, "Having fun?  Or was it just that hard to shit?"  Unable to think of a rebuttal, I washed my hands and said, "Sure is slow today."  FML.

But that didn't actually happen.
Title: Re: FMLs
Post by: fruckert on June 15, 2009, 03:59:47 AM
So...for winter ball I took a friend out.
She ended up getting really pissed, for reasons I have not yet comprehended, stopped talking to me for about two months, and started dating another guy.
Yay -_-'
Title: Re: FMLs
Post by: Darkfox on June 15, 2009, 04:36:14 AM
So...for winter ball I took a friend out.
She ended up getting really pissed, for reasons I have not yet comprehended, stopped talking to me for about two months, and started dating another guy.
Yay -_-'

Idiotitis. A human disease (that sometimes animals suffer) where the most irrational response to nothing occurs for no reason. This is also linked with waking up angry for no reason and punch somebody. Idiotitis. Some guy drives by your house and flips you off even though you don't know each other. Idiotitis.

We all have it, but this seems to be the severe case. Might be terminal. XD
Title: Re: FMLs
Post by: Emerates on June 15, 2009, 04:40:56 AM
You're terminal.  FYL.
Title: Re: FMLs
Post by: Darkfox on June 15, 2009, 04:52:32 AM
You're terminal.  FYL.

:D

I had a few FML moments. The biggest one was when my 1st grade friend, that I grew up with, decided to be a racist, womanizing, neo-nazi. But I felt a bit better after beating him up. It was still sad though. He used to even bash me for any racist comments. XD
Title: Re: FMLs
Post by: Cerebus on June 15, 2009, 05:01:29 AM
I wake up every morning. FML
Title: Re: FMLs
Post by: Darkfox on June 15, 2009, 05:08:35 AM
Mondays. FML
Title: Re: FMLs
Post by: Valiere on June 15, 2009, 05:31:59 PM
Just got my letter from UT Austin. Rejected. FML
Title: Re: FMLs
Post by: Meiscool on June 15, 2009, 08:06:31 PM
My google search for porn brought me here. FML
Title: Re: FMLs
Post by: ThexXtremeXx on June 15, 2009, 08:42:27 PM
lol
Title: Re: FMLs
Post by: Archem on June 15, 2009, 08:43:27 PM
We know. That's how we all got here.

Especially the ladies.