Charas-Project
Off-Topic => All of all! => Topic started by: drenrin2120 on March 26, 2011, 05:58:15 AM
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What's some of the strangest/funniest fortune cookies you've opened. Off the top of my head, the best I got is...
"Swimming is easy, stay floating is hard."
Just like that. Grammatically incorrect and everything. Annd...
"The balding man asked his barber 'why you charge me full price?'"
Not the funniest, but pretty damn strange fortunes.
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There's nothing like some Chinese philosophy to end the day.
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"The snowy mountain is not white when there is no snow"
"Your road ahead is the road that is ahead of you"
Never understood the thing about there, just reminds me of zodiac stuff.
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"Bad luck and extreme misfortune will infest your pathetic soul for all eternity."
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Sounds like they're trying to be grammatically incorrect on purpose. Most fortune cookies in North America are made by American companies.
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FACT: 87.3% of all oriental restaurants have a neon sign that reads "We Delivery".
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I have half a mind to go around to all of the Chinese restaurants in the area and test that statistic out.
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I've never gotten any fortunes that are notable. All I remember is looking down at my chopsticks and actually taking time to read the instructions:
1. Tuk under tnurnb and hold firmly
2. Add second chcostick hold it as you hold a pencil
3. Hold tirst chopstick in original position move the second one up and down
Now you can pick up anything
After that, I picked up the table.
As luck would have it, this was actually at a Thai restaurant.
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Ok ok you guys, let me level with you. It's a conspiracy- we don't want you to know your futures or how to use chopsticks but because of an ancient curse we have to give you instructions should you ever look for them. The thing is,t he curse never specified how clear those instructions had to be. Thus you find yourselves now, trapped in a labyrinth where you must learn how to use chopsticks yourselves.
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Well, I feel like most of the people who work in chinese restaurants (in America at least) probably came here with their family or friends thinking life would be better here. 'cuz I never see people who aren't asian working at chinese restaurants, and they all speak an asian language while speaking broken english, which leads me to believe they picked up english on their own from friends or family.
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Just thinking of the sheer number of chinese restaurants in every city... I mean, they're in EVERY single city, and none of them speak very good english (unless their higher end restaurants). And a lot of the low end restaurants don't really have the nicest looking places. Kinda slummy, dirty, or run down. Still, they're food is amazing.
Even if its all fried, will leave you hungry in a few hours, and might not actually be chicken.
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Just thinking of the sheer number of chinese restaurants in every city... I mean, they're in EVERY single city, and none of them speak very good english (unless their higher end restaurants). And a lot of the low end restaurants don't really have the nicest looking places. Kinda slummy, dirty, or run down. Still, they're food is amazing.
Even if its all fried, will leave you hungry in a few hours, and might not actually be chicken.
The irony of your post is amazing.
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You beat me to the punch, male-me.
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Its a love/hate relationship, me and chinese food.
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"Bad luck and extreme misfortune will infest your pathetic soul for all eternity."
So nobody caught this?
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I actually taught myself how to use chopsticks. I'm quite good with them, actually.
And Dren, Chinese restaurants where I live are about the same with the broken English and all. I've never seen a non-Asian employee at an Asian food restaurant around here. I think that many of them are owned by families. Asian restaurants aren't the only ones like this, though. I've noticed a similar trend with Italian and Mexican restaurants. Also, every Dunkin' Donuts in the area is owned by an Indian family. Literally. I'm not generalizing here.
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I actually taught myself how to use chopsticks. I'm quite good with them, actually.
And Dren, Chinese restaurants where I live are about the same with the broken English and all. I've never seen a non-Asian employee at an Asian food restaurant around here. I think that many of them are owned by families. Asian restaurants aren't the only ones like this, though. I've noticed a similar trend with Italian and Mexican restaurants. Also, every Dunkin' Donuts in the area is owned by an Indian family. Literally. I'm not generalizing here.
Same way here actually. Its all about the franchise for the Dunkin Donuts.
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Everything is run by Mexicans here. God bless them.
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Every business here is run by Americans. Or at least people who live in America. I hope.
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"You like Chinese food"
ORLY?
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This thread is getting progressively worse.
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every thread gets progressively worse, Zerl. Have you not realized this yet?!?!?!
And, I don't know about the mexicans and dunkin donuts thing. Over here, it's more like, if it's a fast food restaurant, there's probably a puerto rican spittin' in your food.
I feel like that was borderline racist.
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This thread started out so innocent. I think.
Unfortunately, I don't eat at Asian restaurants nearly often enough to have any fortune cookie messages to share with the rest of you, thus steering this topic back on track. I do, however, think fortune cookies are yummy, even if they were created in America.
Actually, now that I think about it, the one Chinese place I go to semi-frequently doesn't even give out fortune cookies anymore. :(
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Actually, now that I think about it, the one Chinese place I go to semi-frequently doesn't even give out fortune cookies anymore. :(
Then it is not a true (american) chinese restaurant.
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Actually, I hate Chinese food. Actually, I hate all Asian food except Japanese. Thai, Chinese, Vietnamese, Korean; they're all really similar: The dishes served at their restaurants like to just pile everything into a big mash. At some high-end Chinese restaurants, where the food can easily be shared, this is fine, because people just take a bit of everything, but all to often, you'll end up with a huge and consistent pile of stuff that you need to eat all by yourself. Japanese food really doesn't follow that formula at all. Save for katsudon, which is gigantic and terrible.
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I have a hard time believing the food I eat at Chinese restaurants is actual Asian food. Asian INSPIRED, maybe. But actual, traditional Asian food? I just don't know think so.
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It's not. I remember reading somewhere that Jackie Chan was once interviewed on a talk show and the interviewer started naming the dishes that most Chinese food places serve. He had no idea what any of them were until the interviewer mentioned rice. And yeah, apparently this is a true story.
So I'd say that it's an imitation of Asian food. I agree with Bluhman that the food they serve in Japanese restaurants is delicious, though. One of my favorite restaurants back home was a hibachi place where they served primarily Japanese food and some Thai, and I actually recognized the dishes on the menu from my vast exposure to anime and Japanese culture in general. I can't say I've ever tried Vietnamese or Korean food, though.
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I love Americanized Chinese food. I was more-or-less conceived because of it, so it all makes sense. Don't care how fake it is, it's damn good.
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Well, restaurants with "tradition" are most likely owned by a family who does their thing to survive. Sometimes there's an uncle working there, sometimes it's a cousin. They look out for each other. Most pizza and kebab places are like that over here. Gotta love immigration, they make us great food even though they were graduated and stuff back home.
And really, the only actual speaking problem that anyone notices are certain asian people who pronounce certain letters wrong. Everyone else does a really good job. And Swedish sucks to learn. Our language makes no sense.
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Actually, I hate Chinese food. Actually, I hate all Asian food except Japanese. Thai, Chinese, Vietnamese, Korean; they're all really similar: The dishes served at their restaurants like to just pile everything into a big mash. At some high-end Chinese restaurants, where the food can easily be shared, this is fine, because people just take a bit of everything, but all to often, you'll end up with a huge and consistent pile of stuff that you need to eat all by yourself. Japanese food really doesn't follow that formula at all. Save for katsudon, which is gigantic and terrible.
You realize it's meant to be shared, right?
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That's a...really, really weird bot.
Anyways:
"Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future."
The use of the word "enlarge" confuses me greatly.
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Well, you know that bigger is always better.
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The best one I ever got was:
"Help! I'm trapped in a fortune cookie factory."
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I am extremely jealous, zuhane.
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Clearly, fortune cookies across the pond are much more clever. All the ones over here are vaguely philosophical sayings in Engrish. Self-aware humor ftw!
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My favorite:
"Congratulations! You're not illiterate."
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How comes you guys have awesome messages in your fortune cookies?
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It must be some sort of conspiracy.
Anyway, there are some pretty funny Engrish ones out there, such as these:
"Listen to life, and you will hear the voice of life crying. Be!" (???)
"You are smart, for you do things smartly." (NO ****, SHERLOCK.)
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"That wasn't chicken."