Charas-Project
Off-Topic => All of all! => Topic started by: WarxePB on November 19, 2004, 10:25:52 PM
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Today, my friend came up to me in the cafeteria at my school, asking for money. I didn't have any, so I asked why he needed it. He wanted to uy something from the canteen, and I told him he should've ate breakfast. He replied "I couldn't, because I was kicked out of my house."
Of course, I was concerned. I gave him part of my lunch, and told him he could stay at my place for a night or two. My mom was also concerned, and when I told her about him, she instantly said "Of course he can."
But why did was he kicked out? He said that his dad went berserk over a small thing (I don't recall what it was), saying things such as "You never do anything productive around here" and "No one wants you here". I've seen it myself; when I'm over, my friend doesn't do a lot, but he still does chores and stuff when he doesn't have friends over. But telling him "No one wants you"? Isn't that a bit extreme?
I want your opinions on this. And if you have similar experiences, please share them.
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It happens alot unfortunatley. Alot of parents take out all of their frustrations on their kids. Not everyone has parents like this thank god.
In my opinion, people who say and do things like what you described, are people who should not have had children to begin with. There are many parents that I think should have just used the pill.
It's usualy a result of immaturity, being overstressed, or just not being ready for the child. Or, in some cases it's a parent reacting and treating a kid how they were treated. They see no problem with it because they were brought up like that.
I don't know what it is, but pick the situation you think is most accurate.
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My dad ****ing beats the **** outta my sister over the littlest ****. He barely lays a hand on me, but I have felt his drunken wrath.
I was going to type more, but It started bringing back painful memories about halfway through.
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It is just sad to see parents who treat their kids that way. My older sister's friend has come over to our house a few times due to her mom....
Then again, you could always look at it from the parent's point of view. Maybe money is tight, their job is lame, they're unhappy with their marriage, or they hate their past mistakes. I'm not condoning such behavior of parents towards their children, but if you've had a rotten day/week/month/what ever you're gonna be looking for someone to take it out on.
Well help your friend to the best of your ability, and I hope things get better.
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Ah, I remember my dad kicked me out out of the house for an hour, and now that I look back at it, he was all in his rights too; I was not helping out with the chores needed around the house and I was being a bit disgraceful. I deserved it. However, your friend, as it looks, was not kicked out for an hour, nor I know why. In this I try to understand both point of views. Maybe your friend, doesn't obey his parents, don't do most of chores, or other things like that. Is natural to react like that. The father/mother might be working hard to keep the family going, and when the kid is at home does nothing...well it can get frustating for the parents. Now kicking a kid out might not be the best answer to this, but though he/she will have to admit, he could've prevented it.
I understand both sides of the conflict, believe me. I been thrown out of my house, but even so it was for such little time, it felt like hell. But now I look at it and reflex on it, and gets me thinking "I could've prevented it."
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From the kid's view: "Man, my parents are soooo evil. They tell me to do all these chores, and stuff, but it's THEIR house! Shouldn't they do it then? When I grow up, I won't treat my kids like this. I know what it's like to have a shitty childhood, I don't deserve this! No one knows what it's like for me, especially not them! Grandpa would never yell at his children!"
From the parent's view: "Oh my god, is he just lazing around again? I go to work all day, come home with food, he eats it and then gets fresh with me when I ask him to help out? Dad was always telling me to do chores, and even though I hated it, I had to tough it out, and it taught me that you will always have to work, so better get used to it. But this kid just whines and tries to act like he's the only person in the world, when everyone has to do the same thing!"
Conclusion? It's everyone's fault.
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Another great display of Moose's infinate knowledge.
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It never happened to me or any friends of mine, but you should remenber what you friend did, sometimes they say "that was just a little thing", but, maybe his father liked that thing, and at the moment he was so angry about that thing, and he started to yell things he dont want to, and if you look to the past, maybe this was not the first thing you did.
I'm not saying his father was right, is too much say that "No one wants you here", first because his father dont know what the other who live in the house think, second because if his son is acting like that, is probly because the father dont told to him to not do that.
I hope your friend is OK, if this hapen to me, I would be like :( f you understand me.
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Originally posted by AsakuraHao2004
Another great display of Moose's infinate knowledge.
Say it again. It sounds so sexy when I hear someone say that.
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Another great display of Moose's infinate knowledge.
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Another great display of Moose's infinate knowledge.
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*shivers with excitement*
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Originally posted by gnetwork
It is just sad to see parents who treat their kids that way.
Yes it is...
I'm a parent, I've a 14 years old son, and I love him, ever and ever!
Even if he do a bad thing, even if he make something wrong, if he make a mistake...
I'ts NOT possible for a father (or a mather) hate a son, NOT natural!
It's very very sad...
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To be honest I am lucky because I haven't ever had problems with my dad... but..... I know what it feels to have problems with my dad.
Confused eh?
Ever since I was born my father, Mark, looked after me. It wasn't until later that I found out that he wasn't my biological. yet, it took me nearly 17 years to speak to him, and when I did I broke down. It wasn't easy. Not at all. My biological father.... by what I know he was a nice guy.. yet he couldn't love. His love was buying things. The truth is it seems like my bio dad, Andrew, was the true father.... yet.... the man wouldn't spare 200 dollars for a DNA test. SMB, u said it isn't possible to hate your son. Your right, it isn't. However he willingly didn't want to know me due to the money..... mark, my dad who I proudly call my father, gave up his life to look after me.. all by his own choice.
Y am I saying this? The reason is I know how it feels to be unwanted by your own father. Maybe Warxe, your friend's dad over reacted who knows.
..... I'm not going to right anymore.. this is a painful subject....
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Originally posted by SMB
Yes it is...
I'm a parent, I've a 14 years old son, and I love him, ever and ever!
Even if he do a bad thing, even if he make something wrong, if he make a mistake...
I'ts NOT possible for a father (or a mather) hate a son, NOT natural!
It's very very sad...
Oh, but it is. Human beings are very flexible creatures.
There are many cases like this, too many. You can never say a child is a beautiful thing, because beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
Some will look at their child and see a priceless miracle that they would happily die for, some will see an ugly mistake that costs more money and time than it is worth.
But, like weregnome said, your biological parents are not always your parents. Your parents are where you find them.
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my dad hits me alot but neva kicks me out but my friend nick always gets kicked out its sad.
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wow, after looking at all these problems, i feel lucky that the basic punishment...oh wait..i dont get punishments really, maybe sent to my room on occasion, but thats it. Of course, I dont relly do anything wrong..but still......
Anyways, getting grounded, is one thing. being told your worthless, if he said it for motivation, understandable. kicking outta the house without money or nowhere to go, that is...isnt that illegal? if not, it should be. way over the line in my opinion
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Aw man, that sucks. Getting kicked out of your own house seems so extreme. Best of luck to your friend.
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Hmmm...yes it is sad. My parents never kicked me out but they would hit me. Its not cause i dont do chores, I do quite the amount of chores its just usually cause i was doing my chore a little slow or somtimes a little to fast. Sometimes my parents will tell me to do something and than hit me cause they'd say they told me to do the opposite thing. Its really frustrating cause you're usualy worrying if your doing something wrong that might get you hit. Tell you the truth i never felt realy safe around my parents. But there are many others who have it worse. Its just sad really....
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Yeah... it is bad that parents would do somthing like that. Ain't natural at all.
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I wonder if its thjrough their own growing up or just a psycological thing that some people abuse there children.
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Somtimes Weregnome. Other times it's the want to have that feel of authority...
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lol its the authority when i wuz younger my dad would hit me or even punch me in the face over the littlest things, but now i could probably beat tha sh*t out of him but i wouldnt because hes my dad n i couldnt bring myself 2........but he dont hit me much anymore jus my sister
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Another great display of Moose's infinite knowledge.
back on topic.. well.. i think he went WAY TOO extreme. if that was my dad, i'd hate the way he thought but never hate him. well.. it really depends on what this "small thing" really was.
well.. back when i was in kindergarden, my dad kicked my *** big time cuz i was too hard-headed. a few times during my primary schooling and NEVER in my secondary. and hey, i was glad he did it. if he didn't, i'll be one of those people who like to hang out all the time and put their families second or maybe even last on their list. i never really forgived him until i found out what he did was right.
i do the least chores (i'm a couch potato) but no one hates me.. lol.. i still show them respect but i fight back alot cuz they like accusing me for things.. i fight back and never think twice to apoligize cuz i know i'm innocent, and i'll make them know that. well, i'm an equalist even inside my household. *shrugs*
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Here in Brazil we have a law that fathers cant just kick out theyr sons.
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any enceless argueing is just about the money... it's so sad that every problem is related to this,... :(
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money... the curse of mankind....
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Originally posted by Weregnome
money... the curse of mankind....
Yeah, maybe, but we cant just throw money away.
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Originally posted by Weregnome
money... the curse of mankind....
No, it's a clever system created so that traders could assess the quality of what they were trading. If money never existed, this would still happen.