Charas-Project

Off-Topic => Creative arts => Topic started by: VulcanRaven336 on March 23, 2005, 06:26:06 AM

Title: My short stories
Post by: VulcanRaven336 on March 23, 2005, 06:26:06 AM
I love to read and write.
It's a passion for me, I just love it.
When I read I forget about everything and live the life the character is living.
When I write, I just think of different things to write down on a piece of paper.

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[1] "The bad luck chain"

     You are driving down the road, dead tired from driving all night. You are uneable to stop and rest because there is no motel in sight. You enter a dark cold forest. driving down the road you notice a man walking down the road. He looks dead, he has many wounds on his body. You decide to pick him up. You let him in your car, he puts on his seatbelt right away,you cant help but just stare at the guy. He has blood on his shirt and on his face. His forehead looks as if he has been beaten with an iron tube, and some of his teeth are missing. He looks hungry, you decide to share your lunch with him. You watch in amazement as he quickly scarves down his share. You can't help but stare, suddenly you are afraid, very afraid. Why did I pick up a complete stranger? You get a sense of terror and you begin to feel desperate. You start panting, taking in short, quick breaths. You look ahead and Smack! You hit a thick tree. You're forehead crashes through the windshield and you fly out of the car. You fall some distance away from the car, barely concience, you look up. THe guy is yelling t the top of his voice pleading you to help him. All you can do is watch in terror as the guy's flesh burns slowly. You then, faint from the pain and the shock.
You wake up, hours, minutes, or even days later. The car is a smoky mess, there is nothing of the guy left. You start out, heading towards the road. You feel hungry, bloody and scared. you are walking down the road when a car pulls over, and the man inside offers you a ride.
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I like writting, I hope to be a writter some day because I just love writting. I will post different stories now and then on this thread, I hope you guys like them and keep reading them:)
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Post by: Drace on March 23, 2005, 06:42:32 PM
Heehe, the cycle of dead. I've read one of these earlier.
Keep on doing jobs like this.

Edit: Is it ok to post small stories I made?
Cause we could make this like a big collection of stories made by people.
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Post by: Dragonium on March 23, 2005, 07:07:01 PM
Quote
Originally posted by FireyLilFox
quote:
barely concience, you look up.


Conscious.


Please don't correct people.

And I love that lil' story. I like those cycle sorts of things. :)

PS. Drace has a point about posting each others' stories. I like the idea.
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Post by: Darkfox on March 23, 2005, 07:09:57 PM
You need to watch out for bad grammar and spelling. This story sounds familiar too, like a short thing from Fright Night or somthing like that. I will assume you aquired inspiration from somthing such as this.

Btw, using the second person "you" in a narrative is most often a no-no. It makes it sound like one of those little campfire stories told at camps made just to scare the crud out of teen campers.
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Post by: GhostClown on March 23, 2005, 07:18:10 PM
Cool beans.

Quote
Originally posted by FireyLilFox
quote:
barely concience, you look up.


Conscious.


Newb, your new, so shut the hell up.
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Post by: Darkfox on March 23, 2005, 07:19:05 PM
Could have been much more original. I can't give it a very high rating... because it's so short and gives so little originality. 2/5

Try putting in a feel to it, feels kinda robotic, if you know what I mean.
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Post by: Drace on March 23, 2005, 07:24:16 PM
I think it was used in The Twilight Zone or something similiar.
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Post by: Darkfox on March 23, 2005, 07:28:22 PM
One of those shows, might have been one of the newer episodes. I cannot remember the episode title but it was somthing similar.

It's not a junk story, but it could use much spruceing up so it don't sound like a little campfire tale. You can do it!
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Post by: SleepAid on March 23, 2005, 11:33:11 PM
Schweett... Sounds like it hurt...




Quote
Originally posted by GhostClown212
Cool beans.

quote:
Originally posted by FireyLilFox
quote:
barely concience, you look up.


Conscious.


Newb, your new, so shut the hell up.


GC- 1 newb- 0
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Post by: VulcanRaven336 on March 24, 2005, 03:29:10 AM
This story was just a little something I thought of a little while back, I didn't see it in any show or movie, I don't know if any one ever used it before, I just thought of it and kept typing.

Of course! By all means! It would be cool to have a big story thread and have people rate it at the end and stuff. Sounds good, do it by all means!

I guess the third person storytelling doesn't work eh? Ok, I will change that part in other stories and it does make it sound like a campfire story:)

Robotic? everyone has a different feel I suppose:)
You guys embarrassed that NEWB, he deleted his post!
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Post by: Red Giant on March 24, 2005, 03:07:16 PM
Quote
Originally posted by VulcanRaven336
barely concience, you look up.

Conscious.
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Post by: Darkfox on March 24, 2005, 09:26:04 PM
LOL!! Red did the same thing FireyLilFox did. So much for your guy's complaints to her.
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Post by: Dragonium on March 24, 2005, 09:34:34 PM
Much as we dare, nobody wants to be the first to call Red a n00b.

:)
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Post by: Darkfox on March 24, 2005, 09:35:11 PM
I dare you! XD! Eh... we are gettin kinda spammy...
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Post by: AsakuraHao2004 on March 24, 2005, 10:22:51 PM
I love the story. Awesome neverending chain thingy.

Quote
Originally posted by Darkfox
Btw, using the third person "you" in a narrative is most often a no-no. It makes it sound like one of those little campfire stories told at camps made just to scare the crud out of teen campers.


Uhh... WRONG. Third person is the most used writing style. Like "He went to the store." Using "you" is second person. And of course, "I" would be first. Amd yes, I will say 2nd person is a bit annoying to read. It almost forces you to keep using "You". This kind of repetitiveness is usually avoided in literature.

 
Quote
Is it ok to post small stories I made? Cause we could make this like a big collection of stories made by people.


Yeah... someone should make a "Post your small stories" thread, because I'd post some of mine. We could have like a book of charas members short stories or something like that...
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Post by: VulcanRaven336 on March 25, 2005, 05:26:10 AM
It is a good Idea, Chara's books stories:)
But someone else made a thread and everyone is posting there stories there. . .
Oh well, I will post mine here:)
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Post by: Darkfox on March 25, 2005, 05:39:09 AM
I meant to say second person, you don't have to be a jerk about it. Gosh...
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Post by: VulcanRaven336 on March 25, 2005, 09:12:12 PM
[2] The angel of death


We were running, running as fast as we could. There were 3 of us, me and two of my friends. We ran through the dirty forest, we ran away from her. I kept running, ignoring the burning sensation inside my chest. I looked back, no matter how fast we ran she was right behind us. I felt I could'nt take it no more, so I hid behind a small bush. I looked to see if she was still behind us. . .
Where were my friends? I could not see them anywhere! She was now walking towards me, I could see her hideous face, Pale white skin and dark black hair. I started running again, this time it was a hill I climbed up. It was getting steeper, and steeper and now I had to actually climb it. There were skulls everywhere, half buried in the dirt. I continued to climb, not looking back when suddenly I reached the top. There was a. . . . . Truck. A candy brown truck, but not shiny, but an old truck. Exhausetd and out of breath, I leaned over on the side of the truck. taking deep breaths, I looked to the left and I saw the unexpected.
A woman, not just any woman but a very beautiful woman. She had Bright-golden hair, a beautiful face, and a nice curved body. I looked in disfelief, as she slowly, very slowly leaned towards me.
I was hypnotized, hypnotized by her beauty and I couldn't look away from her eyes. She leaned very close to my face, then her lips touched mine. I closed my eyes as she began to kiss me slowly. She kissed me for a while, then I felt a sharp pain on the side of my head. I opened my eyes and saw spots of blood not on the same beautiful face I have kissed, but on a hideous pale-white face. I began to feel dizzy, I reach for the side of my head and felt something deep in my skull. I fainted and fell to the ground, remembering a beautiful face.

Rate it!

(I actually dreamed this)
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Post by: Dragonium on March 25, 2005, 09:46:43 PM
That's creepy, I had a dream pretty similar to that a few weeks ago. In my dream I was running away from something, I dunno what it was, but I was running down the road to my house at night. There's a bend on it where a tree leans over the road and you can't see round the bend, and I could here it there. I got to my house, and there was this girl there. To cut a long story short, kissed her, then this noise came behind me, something hit me in the side, I woke up and my ribs hurt.

Anyway, I like it. Try to work on the description, though. My Eng teacher complains if I don't. :)
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Post by: Red Giant on March 25, 2005, 10:03:05 PM
Quote
Originally posted by Dragonium
Much as we dare, nobody wants to be the first to call Red a n00b.

:)

That;s odd, because I thought a noob was a new member who acted in a stupid or foolish manner. I thought that, in correcting somebody, you would be identified as not a noob.
But hey, what do I know? I'm not a moderator.
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Post by: Darkfox on March 25, 2005, 10:15:03 PM
Wait a minute I thought... LOL!!
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Post by: Drace on March 26, 2005, 01:02:28 AM
Good, better than the first one. It gave me some shivers, or it was the nightly spring cold here in Holland at 2 AM (or PM, whatever the one is for night)
I'll also post one soon, but I need to make it better and not my sucky half english writing.
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Post by: Weregnome on March 27, 2005, 03:20:35 AM
tats pretty good m8. Like the second one, I read abit of the first, thats was pretty good. as someone once mentioned a short story thread would be good to have. I'll post the stories I've done and inserted onto my  deviant art account (http://www.weregnome.deviantart.com)
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Post by: VulcanRaven336 on March 28, 2005, 02:59:23 AM
[3] The two moons

  It was two A.M. in the morning, and I couldn't sleep. I layed awake in my bed, thinking and looking out the window. I saw the northern moon and very beautiful it was. I looked at the southern moon and very beautiful it was. The northern moon seemed to be attracted to the southern moon, the two moons have fallen in love. Slowly, they began to move. Little by little the Northern moon was closer to the Southern Moon. I watched as the two moons, began to pick up speed. The speed now seemed great, for they were going to crash against each other. Then there was a loud bang, The milky-white moon had crashed against the golden-yellow moon. I saw a wave go from the crash coming down to me. The wave passed me and a strong wind blew at me.
I looked up once more and was shocked. I ran outside and looked up. There were large chunks of rocks spraying everywhere from the crash site. I stared in desbelief, then suddenly I heard a crash in my room. A chunk of the moons had crashed through my roof and into my bedroom. I grew afraid, I ran away as fast as I could. no where in perticular, but away. Large clouds of dust were rising everywhere. From those clouds of dust, some kind of liquid oozed out. I kept running, my chest was burning intensly and my legs weighted a thousand pounds. Tears were forming in my eyes as I finally gave up. I fell into some black liquid and I sank. I sank down, down into it. I opened my eyes and saw nothing but black, black everywhere. Running out of breath fast, I struggled to surface, but the liquid was to thick. I finally gave up, and yelled at the top of my lungs. Once more, I looked up through the black liquid, in the sky, there were two moons. Then I finally gave out.


This story is sort of weird. I dreamt this also, but added to it. I don't know why I wrote it, bu meh. Read it and tell me what'sup?

EDIT: Weregonme, your link does not work.
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Post by: MSlash67 on March 28, 2005, 03:05:54 AM
I like this story, it is scary as hell. The two moons collide and the the liquid engulfed the main character sending him to his doom. kewl
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Post by: VulcanRaven336 on May 01, 2005, 11:13:03 PM
Nah not scary, more like stupid. . .

Oh well, I haven't stopped writting, there's this story I am writting right now, I am not going to write it on here but on live journal. Here's the link if you wanna read it.

http://www.livejournal.com/users/vulcanraven336/


That's just the first intro chapter, read it and tell me what you think is going to happen next?
I have the second chapter all ready, I just forgot it in my damn note book at school:)