Charas-Project

Off-Topic => All of all! => Forum gaming => Topic started by: Archem on April 19, 2011, 03:58:36 AM

Title: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on April 19, 2011, 03:58:36 AM
So I had a bit of fun on that YouTube atheist whatever thread where Grandy and I had some back-and-forth, text-based adventure style, so I figured I'd turn it into something fun.

Here's the Manual -

Welcome to TEXTVENTURE, the text-based adventure full of twists and turns, packed with action, spiced with hints of romance, and served with a side of mystery! Choose your own adventure with the patented TEXT INPUT, and read as the events unfold in this digital world of excitement and suspense! In order to succeed, you should make sure to check your surroundings carefully, and take hold of any suspicious objects. Don't be afraid to explore and experiment, because if you make a horrible mistake, the games also patented DEUS EX MACHINA ENGINE will save your skin so you can try again and again until you succeed! This exciting world isn't exclusive to you, however, as any player from around the world can take part in your adventure! Decide as a team what actions your character will perform, and suffer as a team when you forget that you left the oven on, and your home burns to ashes! Enjoy this incredible world of TEXTVENTURE


LOAD:

CHAPTER 1 (http://www.charas-project.net/forum/index.php?topic=27561.msg361866#msg361866)
CHAPTER 2 (http://www.charas-project.net/forum/index.php?topic=27561.msg362124#msg362124)
CHAPTER 3 (http://www.charas-project.net/forum/index.php?topic=27561.msg363725#msg363725)



CHAPTER 1 - THE APARTMENT

Welcome to the world of TEXTVENTURE! Before we begin, what is your name?

Type HELP for assistance.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - What Doest Thou?
Post by: WarxePB on April 19, 2011, 05:01:55 AM
> Edge McCoy
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - What Doest Thou?
Post by: fruckert on April 19, 2011, 05:27:03 AM
> Blast Hardcheese

ed: I'm treating this like an MSPAFA (MS Paint Adventure Forum Adventure), wherein the OP chooses among the big list of posts what to do, or ignores it completely and does something funny.
Just soes you know.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - What Doest Thou?
Post by: Archem on April 19, 2011, 07:46:16 AM
Cool, because that's basically how this is going to work. Now then, back to being in-character.

You are called EDGE MCCOY. Your parents weren't the cleverest folks on the block when it came to naming their first born. Perhaps they were hoping to have more children, and took you for a test run. Your complete lack of siblings suggests that they quickly realized how bad they were at parenting.

As you reflect on your lousy childhood LOUSY CHILDHOOD, you hear a knock upon your APARTMENT DOOR. Perhaps it's better described as pounding, and occasionally accompanied by angry yells. Whoever this rude fellow is, he sounds an awful lot like your LANDLORD HAROLD WHATEVERHISLASTNAMEIS. You think he may be Icelandic.

What do you do?

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - What Doest Thou?
Post by: Cerebus on April 19, 2011, 04:34:24 PM
>Knock on Apartment Door

This will confuse him!
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on April 19, 2011, 06:53:27 PM
You begin to knock on your own APARTMENT DOOR in a rather civilized fashion. That should show him a lesson in manners! The banging ceases for a moment, followed by confused muttering. His attempt to open the door to greet you aren't very successful, and the banging and yelling continue.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: WarxePB on April 19, 2011, 07:03:57 PM
> Tell him that no one's home
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on April 19, 2011, 07:33:19 PM
Your TRANSPARENT LIE doesn't seem to be working! Try something more elaborate!

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: ellie-is on April 19, 2011, 10:40:24 PM
>Tell him that he's not home.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Cerebus on April 19, 2011, 10:46:22 PM
>Remove clothes and open door

This will shock him!
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: fruckert on April 19, 2011, 11:11:27 PM
> eat self with garlic
> Scream back and shout obsceneties

> Ask him what in the blue hell he wants at this hour
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on April 20, 2011, 02:45:00 AM
As you gather your COURAGE to perform your very foolish chosen action, you hear HAROLD's violent bellowing. He seems to be peeved about your RENT STATUS. It's been THREE (3) MONTHS since you last payed RENT. You suppose that's why he's here, and you think that might not be so unreasonable. You're pretty sure that, if someone owed you that kind of scratch, you'd be in more of a knee-breaking mood, but that can be attributed to your LOUSY CHILDHOOD. Perhaps HAROLD had a LOUSY CHILDHOOD, too. Perhaps you should find some RENT MONEY, or at least develop an ESCAPE PLAN.

Your move.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: fruckert on April 20, 2011, 02:54:48 AM
> Defenestrate self and GTFO
> But first, turn oven on
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on April 20, 2011, 04:45:45 AM
LOOK around you! Simply jumping out the WINDOW might be a bad idea! You're sure your MICROWAVE OVEN doesn't need to be turned on, either.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Cerebus on April 20, 2011, 05:04:39 AM
All right, the plot needs to move on!

>Open the door
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: fruckert on April 20, 2011, 05:28:34 AM
> Open door a little and talk through the crack
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on April 20, 2011, 07:50:42 AM
All this talk about BROKEN KNEECAPS and LOUSY CHILDHOODS tells you that this may be a bad idea. Are you sure you want to see the GAME OVER SCREEN on the first chapter?

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: fruckert on April 20, 2011, 08:05:10 AM
> Examine dwelling.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: zuhane on April 20, 2011, 11:22:54 AM
> Combine bedsheets together to form makeshift rope ladder.
> Use this on the window.
> Drop onto the balcony of the room underneath.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on April 20, 2011, 04:29:48 PM
You take a gander at the lovely little home you've made for yourself. Well, maybe not so lovely. Your BEDROOM is a bit of a mess, but at least you've had the good sense to keep your filthy CLOTHES in the LAUNDRY ROOM. You don't actually have a LAUNDRY ROOM, since you don't own a WASHING MACHINE or DRYER, but it sure sounds better than ROOM WHERE YOU THROW YOUR FILTHY, FILTHY CLOTHING. The KITCHEN is a bit of a mess, but your trusty MICROWAVE OVEN and REFRIGERATOR are perfectly accessible. Your LIVING ROOM, which is where you're standing right now, seems to be in decent working order. You have a WINDOW in your BEDROOM, and in your LIVING ROOM.

You gather your BEDSHEETS from your BED, and tie one end to your BED. You would try escaping out the window, but your WINDOW has a LOCK on it, and you don't happen to be wearing your PANTS.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: ellie-is on April 20, 2011, 05:20:23 PM
>Store the WINDOW KEY on UNDERWEAR, and open the window with the PAIR OF FILTHY PANTS.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: X_marks_the_ed on April 20, 2011, 05:51:47 PM
I was thinking of doing something like this back when I did it in Whoever Posts Last Wins, but I don't have the patience or work ethic for it.

> Go to BED.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on April 20, 2011, 06:25:41 PM
You aren't sure of where your WINDOW KEY or PANTS are, so you go to BED, hoping for an EPIPHANY. It never happens. Get your lazy ASS up and LOOK for those somehow essential items!

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Natako on April 20, 2011, 06:56:57 PM
> Search under BED.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on April 20, 2011, 07:37:15 PM
After sifting through the MESS on the floor, you find the bottom of your BED. What an ordeal! You spot a LOCKBOX, a PAINTBALL GUN, and some ADULT LITERATURE (you especially appreciate the POLITICAL COMMENTARY and STOCK TRADING INFORMATION). Sadly, no KEY or PANTS.

Take something?

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: X_marks_the_ed on April 20, 2011, 08:35:23 PM
>Take PAINTBALL GUN
>Take LOCKBOX
>Alchemize PAINTBALL GUN and LOCKBOX
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on April 20, 2011, 08:59:34 PM
ITEM(S) ACQUIRED:

ONE (1) PAINTBALL GUN
ONE (1) LOCKBOX

You decide aim your PAINTBALL GUN squarely at the LOCKBOX.

ITEM(S) REMOVED:

ONE (1) LOCKBOX

ITEM(S) ACQUIRED:

ONE (1) BLUE LOCKBOX

It's super effective!

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: ellie-is on April 20, 2011, 10:03:25 PM
>Smash the WINDOW with the BLUE LOCKBOX
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: WarxePB on April 20, 2011, 10:04:32 PM
> Throw BLUE LOCKBOX at LANDLORD
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on April 20, 2011, 10:56:20 PM
You throw the BLUE LOCKBOX, hereon known simply as LOCKBOX, at the LIVING ROOM WINDOW. Predictably, the WINDOW doesn't break. Those damn BURGLAR BARS you had installed on both sides of the glass are doing their job quite well. Perhaps if you found that KEY and unlocked them, things could start to progress.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: X_marks_the_ed on April 20, 2011, 11:12:55 PM
>Search OLD PANTS
>Search LAUNDRY ROOM
>Search REFRIGERATOR
>Search LAST PLACE YOU HAD THEM
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on April 21, 2011, 12:02:07 AM
You wander into the LAUNDRY ROOM and quickly spot an old pair of PANTS. Upon further investigation, you discover a ring of KEYS in the pocket.

ITEM(S) ACQUIRED:

ONE (1) PANTS
ONE (1) KEYS

With this great success, you head over to the KITCHEN and search the REFRIGERATOR. Expired MILK, MOLDY CHEESE, and a few CHEAP BEERS are the only items populating the place. Perhaps you should have gone to the store for GROCERIES the other day.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: fruckert on April 21, 2011, 12:33:21 AM
> Unlock WINDOW with KEYS
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on April 21, 2011, 03:25:52 AM
You use the KEY to UNLOCK the WINDOW.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: ellie-is on April 21, 2011, 03:53:47 AM
>LOOK outside the WINDOW
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on April 21, 2011, 04:43:53 AM
You peer out your WINDOW, as if you expect some kind of outlandish obstacle to be waiting for you. You are mistaken. There is simply the brick wall that makes up the building next to you, and the ALLEY below.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: fruckert on April 21, 2011, 05:16:15 AM
> Throw SPOILED MILK outside of WINDOW
> Make ROPE out of BEDSHEET
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on April 21, 2011, 05:23:08 AM
You commit the heinous crime of LITTER BUGGERY, and quickly realize that you're already tied your SHEETS to your BED.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: WarxePB on April 21, 2011, 10:28:52 PM
> Give LANDLORD a CHEAP BEER
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on April 21, 2011, 10:43:40 PM
You grab hold of a couple of CHEAP BEERS, but your special ability, EXTREME CLUMSINESS, causes you to drop them on your way to the DOOR. GLASS SHARDS and booze litter the ground. Surely, this won't be fun to clean up.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: fruckert on April 21, 2011, 10:55:10 PM
> Try to unlock LOCKBOX with KEYS
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on April 21, 2011, 11:12:14 PM
You're sure one of these KEYS on your KEYRING will UNLOCK your LOCKBOX, so you start flipping through them and trying to UNLOCK it. Eventually, the LOCKBOX opens, and you are greeted by a healthy amount of neatly-sorted PAPERS containing an identity thief's bounty in personal information. Better not let this out of your sight. You also spy an ENVELOPE, a GOLD (PAINTED) WATCH, and a REVOLVER. If you had any AMMUNITION, the REVOLVER would surely be a dangerous tool.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: WarxePB on April 22, 2011, 12:15:25 AM
> Open ENVELOPE
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: ellie-is on April 22, 2011, 01:53:45 AM
>Ask LANDLORD if he has any AMMUNITION
>Ignore answer and hit him with the REVOLVER
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on April 22, 2011, 03:26:50 AM
You open the ENVELOPE and find what appears to be an OLD MAP. You aren't sure of how it got in your LOCKBOX, nor do you know what it could be for. You should probably TAKE a few of these strange and mysterious items from your LOCKBOX.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: fruckert on April 22, 2011, 06:24:50 AM
> Empty contents of LOCKBOX to your inventory.
> Do something silly.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on April 22, 2011, 06:58:38 AM
You dump all the contents of your LOCKBOX into your... PANTS? You're not sure if you should put them on beforehand, but they now have the POCKETS stuffed with all your junk.

ITEMS ACQUIRED:

ONE (1) REVOLVER
ONE (1) GOLD (PAINTED) WATCH
ONE (1) OLD MAP


It seems that all your PERSONAL INFORMATION just fell on the floor. You don't seem to have enough room in your POCKETS for something you probably shouldn't be carrying around anyway. You also figure that putting your PANTS on might be something you can do without being told, so you go for it. As you hop about on one foot, trying your damnedest to get your other leg in, your EXTREME CLUMSINESS kicks in, causing you to slip on the CHEAP BEER puddle, slide into your TV, and fall face first into the BROKEN GLASS. Whether it came from the TV or the CHEAP BEER BOTTLES doesn't seem to matter, since both you and your PERSONAL INFORMATION are now soaked in CHEAP BEER, cut up from all the BROKEN GLASS, and you still can't seem to get your PANTS on. Some might consider this series of events to be rather silly. You just feel EXASPERATED.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: ellie-is on April 22, 2011, 01:40:24 PM
> Commit SUICIDE with the BROKEN GLASS.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: fruckert on April 22, 2011, 01:51:53 PM
> Take WATCH out of POCKET and WEAR IT
> Quick, save the PERSONAL INFORMATION! Pick it up and set it on the counter, or something.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on April 22, 2011, 05:19:26 PM
You briefly contemplate AN HEROING, but the BROKEN GLASS is so small that you wouldn't be able to do much. Perhaps you could SWALLOW large handfuls of the stuff? Doesn't matter, the notion is ridiculous. You stand up, brush the BROKEN GLASS off of you, and slip on your trusty GOLD (PAINTED) WATCH. That PERSONAL INFORMATION of yours sure is soggy by now. You don't see the point in trying to save it anymore, since it's beginning to dissolve, but you scoop it all up, anyway. You set it on the counter, or something.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: WarxePB on April 22, 2011, 06:47:11 PM
> Look at OLD MAP
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on April 22, 2011, 07:42:39 PM
The OLD MAP appears to be rather old. You're not too sure of what it charts out, since parts of it are faded and torn. You suppose it wouldn't matter, anyway, since the decipherable text is mostly gibberish.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: MissingName on April 22, 2011, 10:43:29 PM
> Shout and offer the GOLD (PAINTED) WATCH to the landlord, passing it off as a FANCY GOLD WATCH.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on April 23, 2011, 12:16:25 AM
You try to BRIBE HAROLD with your clearly phony GOLD (PAINTED) WATCH through the DOOR. He doesn't seem to LISTEN, and his IMPATIENCE and RAGE continue to escalate.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: fruckert on April 23, 2011, 12:26:33 AM
> Quit procrastinating and climb out of the window via the bedsheet.
> First though, move all of the broken glass to in front of the door.
> Ponder why your landlord doesn't have a key. Be sure not to ponder out loud, though.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: ellie-is on April 23, 2011, 12:30:18 AM
> Empty the CONTENTS OF YOUR STOMACH into the LANDLORD'S FACE, and RUN
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: MissingName on April 23, 2011, 02:04:39 AM
> Search for a TABLE and block the DOOR with the TABLE to buy some more time
> Climb down the ROPE and run EAST
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on April 23, 2011, 02:10:31 AM
You finally manage to get your PANTS on, and you decide that, for whatever reason, it might be a good idea to gather all the BROKEN GLASS near the DOOR. After a little bit of PONDERING, you make your way to the WINDOW where you have your BEDSHEETS tied to your BED, and begin your perilous decent. Almost immediately after you get your entire body outside the WINDOW, you realize that you haven't weighed your BED down, and your EXTREME CLUMSINESS activates. Your BED flies towards the WINDOW, the BEDSHEET tears, and you fall several stories to the ground.

END OF CHAPTER ONE (1)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on April 23, 2011, 02:12:57 AM
CHAPTER TWO - THE MEAN STREETS

After your fall from several stories up (and by "several", you mean "roughly two"), you regain your bearings in a DUMPSTER, surrounded by bags of refuse, and a PUMPKIN.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: ellie-is on April 23, 2011, 02:29:26 AM
> GET the PUMPKIN.
> EQUIP
the PUMPKIN as a helmet.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on April 23, 2011, 02:43:22 AM
What pumpkin?

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: ellie-is on April 23, 2011, 02:45:10 AM
>...the PUMPKIN in the DUMPSTER?
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on April 23, 2011, 03:03:54 AM
You don't recall seeing any pumpkins, especially not in the DUMPSTER.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: ellie-is on April 23, 2011, 03:11:10 AM
>Find some SCHIZOPHRENIA DRUGS and TAKE some.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Grandy on April 23, 2011, 03:13:52 AM
==>Check the DUMPSTER for anything.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: X_marks_the_ed on April 23, 2011, 03:20:53 AM
> Use DUMPSTER as a fort
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on April 23, 2011, 03:25:38 AM
You SEARCH the DUMPSTER, and you find a few compressed CARDBOARD BOXES near the bottom. You decide to use them to build a FORT in the DUMPSTER to combat the foul odors that surround you. You're not sure which is worse - the garbage, or the rotting PUMPKIN. Either way, it seems obvious that your FORT isn't making much of a difference.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: WarxePB on April 23, 2011, 03:50:37 AM
> Get inside a CARDBOARD BOX and pretend you're SOLID SNAKE
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on April 23, 2011, 05:36:40 AM
You begin wandering around the ALLEY whilst hiding inside a CARDBOARD BOX. Some would say you resemble a type of REPTILE. Most would call you an IDIOT.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: fruckert on April 23, 2011, 06:03:33 AM
> Spontaneously [sic] combust.
> Make a robot with the box.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Fortet on April 23, 2011, 06:26:00 AM
>WALK as far from your apartment as possible.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on April 23, 2011, 06:42:49 PM
You clearly can't think of anything worthwhile to do, so you LOOK at your surroundings. In FRONT of you, you see a small SUB-ALLEY of some sort. A CAR is parked on the side of it, and another DUMPSTER is against the wall near the back. It appears to turn lead somewhere, but you can't be sure. To your RIGHT, you see a BASKETBALL COURT on the other side of a CHAIN-LINK FENCE. It appears to lead somewhere, but you can't be sure. To your LEFT, the ALLEY leads out to the STREET. It appears to lead somewhere, but you can't be sure.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: drenrin2120 on April 23, 2011, 08:59:02 PM
>WALK to the BASKETBALL COURT and prepare to MAKE LOVE to ARCHEM.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: WarxePB on April 23, 2011, 09:30:02 PM
> Look at CAR
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on April 24, 2011, 12:10:29 AM
You begin walking to the BASKETBALL COURT, but the DOOR of the CHAIN-LINK FENCE is locked. You then turn and approach the CAR. It's really not much to look at.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Dragonium on April 24, 2011, 12:42:38 AM
>FORAGE in DUMPSTER
>LOUDLY PRAISE JESUS each time an ITEM is found
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on April 25, 2011, 10:58:35 PM
You dig through the DUMPSTER again, but it's still full of trash. You're certain you heard the PUMPKIN laughing at you for playing in garbage.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Dragonium on April 26, 2011, 02:07:12 AM
>PICK UP PUMPKIN and CARRY under ARM
>GO to STREET
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: fruckert on April 26, 2011, 02:28:47 AM
> Curse the nonexistent gourd before carrying it.
> Whistle showtunes while walking to street.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on April 26, 2011, 03:23:08 AM
You're pretty much CONFUSED about this pumpkin nonsense. You give up on the ridiculous notion, and make your way to the STREET. As you pass the CAR on your way out, you hear what sounds like WHISPERING.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: MissingName on April 26, 2011, 03:32:11 AM
> Make sure the LANDLORD is not in the street.
> Try to find the source of the WHISPERING.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on April 26, 2011, 06:38:01 AM
You can still hear HAROLD banging on your APARTMENT DOOR, so you feel confident that he's not on the STREETS. You LOOK around a bit, trying to find out who, if not HAROLD, is WHISPERING. After a moment, you think you hear it coming from the ALLEY.

Progress down ALLEY (Y/N)?

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: fruckert on April 26, 2011, 07:05:20 AM
> Listen to the whispering a little closer first. Then run out with your revolver on standby.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on April 26, 2011, 07:23:21 AM
It seems that the WHISPERING is more than just eavesdropping material; you are being SUMMONED by someone. You equip your trusty REVOLVER (which still has not a single BULLET to its name), and progress around the corner with EXTREME CAUTION.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on April 26, 2011, 07:23:39 AM
> CONTINUE
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on April 26, 2011, 07:26:11 AM
You pop around the corner, and come face to face with a SKELETON!

You are clearly mistaken, as it's no horror made of BONES, but rather the quite skinny bag-o-bones SKELETON THE DRUG PUSHER (A.K.A. SKELLY). You greet SKELLY, and he offers you some PRIMO SHIT, MAN.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: fruckert on April 26, 2011, 07:30:27 AM
> UNEQUIP revolver, it's apparent that you likely won't need to threaten this man.
> Disincline SKELLY's offer. You haz no monies.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on April 26, 2011, 05:49:30 PM
You put away your REVOLVER, and pull out your WALLET to demonstrate your current money situation to SKELLY. He can see (plain as day) that you have no cash, but he does spy something OLD and interesting that makes him GASP.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: WarxePB on April 26, 2011, 08:15:04 PM
> Give SKELLY your GOLD (PAINTED) WATCH
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: X_marks_the_ed on April 26, 2011, 09:04:55 PM
> Play PERSUASION MINIGAME to increase SPEECHCRAFT first.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: fruckert on April 27, 2011, 07:21:29 AM
> Gasp back.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on April 27, 2011, 04:57:23 PM
You GASP loudly and prepare to offer your GOLD (PAINTED) WATCH in the event that SKELLY MUGS you. Instead, he reaches out slowly and grabs the folded up OLD MAP from your WALLET. Normally, people taking things from your WALLET would be rude, but you make an exception for SKELLY. Despite the occasional MUGGING, he's always been cool.

ASK ABOUT OLD MAP (Y/N)?

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Dragonium on April 27, 2011, 05:23:59 PM
>N
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: ellie-is on April 27, 2011, 09:16:36 PM
>Y
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on April 27, 2011, 10:05:37 PM
>H

Oh dear. It appears that you couldn't make up your mind, and now you're trapped in SELECTION LIMBO. So much for trying to compromise.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: fruckert on April 27, 2011, 11:39:05 PM
> Decisioncraft Level 1: YES
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: WarxePB on April 28, 2011, 12:17:18 AM
> Physically injure the CONTRADICTORY VOICE INSIDE YOUR HEAD
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Natako on April 28, 2011, 02:48:21 AM
>Smack self upside head with UNLOADED REVOLVER to facilitate decision-making process.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: fruckert on April 28, 2011, 02:51:44 AM
> Scream in anguish over your inability to make a decision.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on April 28, 2011, 03:01:51 AM
You do not have enough REALMSPHERES to perform DECISIONCRAFT.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on April 28, 2011, 03:02:07 AM
>HELP

Type a word for information: >DECISIONCRAFT

DECISIONCRAFT is a series of skills that the player can perform while in SELECTION LIMBO. In order to perform DECISIONCRAFT, the player must have learned the skill, and have the required amount of REALMSPHERES.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on April 28, 2011, 03:02:23 AM
>HELP

Type a word for information: >SELECTION LIMBO

SELECTION LIMBO is a dimension where time doesn't flow, allowing the player to make important decisions. The player will enter SELECTION LIMBO when an important decision is unable to be made. The only way to exit SELECTION LIMBO is to find your decision within SELECTION LIMBO.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on April 28, 2011, 03:02:38 AM
>HELP

Type a word for information: >REALMSPHERE

REALMSPHERES populate SELECTION LIMBO, and are necessary for performing DECISIONCRAFT.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: fruckert on April 28, 2011, 03:14:10 AM
> LOOK
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on April 28, 2011, 11:56:40 PM
You LOOK around you. Everything seems a bit more PURPLE than it used to. Except for the inside of that CAR, which seems a bit GREEN.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: fruckert on April 29, 2011, 12:17:29 AM
For some bizarre reason I had a dream that LIMBO was a level in DOOM.
Yeah, I don't know why I had a dream about a charas thread either.

> Make sure there isn't a GREEN MOTHER****ING SUN in the car.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on April 29, 2011, 02:45:00 AM
//Pretty sure it's because I'm a wicked-awesome narrator. Also, I'm totally starting mini-off-topic segments like this from now on.

You peer cautiously into the CAR and see a GLOWING GREEN ORB. Perhaps the CAR DOOR is unlocked?

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Dragonium on April 29, 2011, 02:56:43 AM
>Attempt to OPEN CAR DOOR
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: fruckert on April 29, 2011, 03:10:35 AM
> Attempt to smash in window with your elbow.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on April 29, 2011, 05:12:45 AM
It would seem that you've smashed a WINDOW or two in your youth, as this NETHERWORLDLY GLASS shatters as though it were NORMAL GLASS. Well, it is, but frozen in time. The GLASS SHARDS (which you seem to be leaving in your wake) are suspended in air, moving only from the motions of your ELBOW. You find this to be pretty trippy. Afterwards, you find that the DOOR LOCK was never active, but you've never been one to pass up the option to destroy GLASS.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Natako on April 29, 2011, 05:16:43 AM
> Open CAR DOOR.
> Climb into DRIVER'S SEAT.
> Make revving noises and pretend to be a RACING CHAMPION.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on April 29, 2011, 07:10:30 AM
You perform all those silly things you typed, and then some. How productive you are. Your mother would be proud, if she weren't busy being frozen in time, along with everything else that isn't you.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: fruckert on April 29, 2011, 08:27:06 AM
> Stop wasting time and eat delicious orb pocket the green sun-like object.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on April 30, 2011, 03:27:23 AM
You reach out and

ITEM(S) ACQUIRED:

ONE (1) REALMSPHERE


Oh, that was a pretty odd transition. You should probably get used to it. Too bad that REALMSPHERE won't do you any good, since you still haven't learned any DECISIONCRAFT SKILLS.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: WarxePB on April 30, 2011, 03:44:26 AM
> Flashback to your FIFTH-GRADE DECISIONCRAFT CLASSES
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: fruckert on April 30, 2011, 07:29:18 AM
> Search for more loot.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on May 01, 2011, 03:32:35 AM
You would flashback to your fifth grade classes, except that you were too busy playing HOOKEY. All the cool kids were doing it. Boy, do you regret that decision.

YOU HAVE LEARNED THE FOLLOWING SKILL(S):

HINDSIGHT


(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on May 01, 2011, 03:35:36 AM
>HELP

Type a word for information: >HINDSIGHT

HINDSIGHT, as they say, is 20/20. This LVL. 1 DECISIONCRAFT SKILL costs ONE (1) REALMSPHERE per use, and allows the player to relive past events. Your actions may not be changed, however, so make ample use of the LOOK command.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: WarxePB on May 01, 2011, 04:43:26 AM
> Next
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Dragonium on May 01, 2011, 04:06:41 PM
>USE HINDSIGHT
>ASK SKELLY about OLD MAP
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on May 01, 2011, 04:36:57 PM
You use HINDSIGHT.

REALSPHERE COUNT: ZERO (0)

Your HINDSIGHT takes you back to when you first encountered SKELLY

You cannot interact with your surroundings while using HINDSIGHT.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on May 04, 2011, 04:08:06 AM
>Watch SKELLY carefully.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on May 04, 2011, 04:12:51 AM
You pay much closer attention to that scruffy rogue known as SKELLY this time around. Perhaps it's all that DECISIONCRAFT witchery you've begun to dabble in? Whatever the cause, you pick up on smaller things, such as seeing him WRINGING his HANDS upon seeing what is quite certainly the OLD MAP being removed from your WALLET. You also hear MUTTERING with a new degree of clarity that may actually be intelligible.

QUICK-TIME EVENT - PRESS B NOW!

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: drenrin2120 on May 04, 2011, 06:40:45 AM
>Press A
>Press LEFT
>Press UP
>Press B
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on May 04, 2011, 07:12:23 AM
Your dead. game over.

Jeez, the boys down at localization might be out of a job if they keep up this quality work. Still, it gets the point across. You are DEAD, by way of having the bad luck of missing the key that would have saved your life, and instead hitting the key that kills you. That key, of course, is every one that isn't B.

LOAD (Y/N)?

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on May 04, 2011, 07:12:43 AM
>Y, Y, Y!
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on May 04, 2011, 07:15:32 AM
Good call, pressing Y. Some players would have pressed N, or perhaps even H, just to be a smartass. Fie to them and their meddling ways!

You resume play from your crazy QUICK-TIME EVENT. It sure would be awful if you had to keep doing this over and over again because you weren't quick/accurate enough...

QUICK-TIME EVENT - PRESS B NOW!

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: fruckert on May 04, 2011, 08:21:32 AM
> Up
> Up
> Down
> Down
> Left
> Right
> Left
> Right
> B
> A
> Start

> B
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on May 04, 2011, 05:51:59 PM
Why would you press all those keys that have already been established as KILL KEYS? There's not even a START key! That's it, you broke the game. Beyond repair. The LOAD function is melting as you sit there and read. Your MONITOR is beginning to convulse, being trapped in the middle of a massive seizure. Surely, your HARD DRIVE is eating itself. The GAME's cartridge is spitting out MAGNETIC TAPE all over the floor. It's pretty amazing how badly you've destroyed everything. In the end, at least you've learned a valuable lesson about meddlin-

CHEAT UNLOCKED - DECISIONCRAFT SKILL NOSTALGIA ACQUIRED

Oh. You've entered a cheat code. How convenient. You're quite fortunate to have the game's DEUS EX MACHINA ENGINE on your side. You've passed the QUICK-TIME EVENT, if only to prevent you from destroying everything again.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on May 04, 2011, 05:54:09 PM
>HELP

Type a word for information: >NOSTALGIA

NOSTALGIA is a DECISIONCRAFT SKILL that allows the player to return to the PAST, when things were better (or so you think). NOSTALGIA costs THREE (3) REALMSPHERES

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: WarxePB on May 04, 2011, 05:57:40 PM
>Listen carefully to SKELLY
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on May 04, 2011, 10:12:57 PM
Upon listening more intensely, you hear SKELLY saying a few things about WEALTHBEARD THE SWASHBUCKLER, a seafaring adventurer from childhood fairytales. Legend has it that he BURIED his fantastic TREASURES near here, but that's only a MYTH. Boy, a TREASURE like that sure would be useful for paying your RENT.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: fruckert on May 04, 2011, 11:53:22 PM
> Look around again. Try to note any glowing objects.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on May 05, 2011, 01:29:58 AM
You EXAMINE the area carefully. Off in the corner, near the DUMPSTER, you notice a GREEN GLOW. You see a similar GREEN GLOW coming from SKELLY's coat.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: fruckert on May 05, 2011, 01:51:29 AM
> Pick Skelly's pocket.
> Go dumpster diving and hope that it's nothing radioactive.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on May 06, 2011, 12:48:05 AM
HINDSIGHT has worn off. You are returned to the present, and can perform actions again.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: fruckert on May 06, 2011, 01:13:02 AM
> Repeat last commands.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on May 06, 2011, 01:27:14 AM
You try to pick SKELLY's pockets. Bad idea. He's a drugged-out pusher, so of course he's paranoid and packing heat. The hot lead from his gun burns in your chest. You fall to the ground, and SKELLY flees as your blood begins to pool. You're an idiot, and you're bad at decisions.

GAME OVER

LOAD (Y/N)?


(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: fruckert on May 06, 2011, 01:31:04 AM
}:

Y
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on May 06, 2011, 01:41:48 AM
HINDSIGHT has worn off. You are returned to the present, and can perform actions again.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on May 08, 2011, 01:40:31 AM
//Works better when you make an input, people.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on May 09, 2011, 01:59:34 AM
>ASK SKELLY ABOUT OLD MAP
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on May 09, 2011, 02:00:50 AM
You ask SKELLY about your OLD MAP. He begins to act very strangely, and refuses to answer your question. Still, that GOLD (PAINTED) WATCH of yours is very enticing...

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: fruckert on May 09, 2011, 02:11:06 AM
> Politely ask if you can have the OLD MAP back.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on May 09, 2011, 02:31:20 AM
SKELLY doesn't have your OLD MAP, although he does seem to be intensely interested in it.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: fruckert on May 09, 2011, 02:33:45 AM
You GASP loudly and prepare to offer your GOLD (PAINTED) WATCH in the event that SKELLY MUGS you. Instead, he reaches out slowly and grabs the folded up OLD MAP from your WALLET. Normally, people taking things from your WALLET would be rude, but you make an exception for SKELLY. Despite the occasional MUGGING, he's always been cool.

ASK ABOUT OLD MAP (Y/N)?

|


?
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on May 09, 2011, 08:54:25 AM
\\But that pumpkin nonsense was perfectly fine, wasn't it? Why don't you write a letter to the developers and request a patch/refund?
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: fruckert on May 09, 2011, 08:56:20 AM
> Send complaint letter to developers and bitch about the numerous glitches.
> Also the fact that it somehow melted your machine while still somehow keeping it perfectly intact, somehow.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: fruckert on May 09, 2011, 09:32:30 AM
Thank you for playing CPGames' latest masterpiece, TEXTVENTURE! Your continued support is important to us, and we are very glad to see that you've become a fan of our work. However, we cannot tolerate flaws in our products, and as such, we would like to apologize. Our team has provided the following solution: SOFTWARE UPDATE. Instructions on how to apply this solution are listed below.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________

[SOFTWARE UPDATE]

To apply a software update, please insert the included floppy diskette into the appropriate drive, and type in the following commands:

>D:\CPGSD\UPDATE
>UPDATE


At this point, you will be prompted to enable an internet connection. If an internet connection is currently active, proceed to the following steps. If an internet connection is not available, please contact our support team for a replacement copy of the product with the update pre-loaded onto the floppy diskette.

>CONNECT

The product will begin updating, and your computer will need to be restarted before the update will take effect.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________

Thank you for choosing CPGames. We apologize for any inconvenience, and we hope that you will continue to support us in the future.

-Donald Filburt
President, CPGames
(received this in a pm)

==> Eject diskette
==> Reinsert diskette

>D:\CPGSD\UPDATE
>UPDATE
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on May 09, 2011, 06:13:20 PM
CPGAMES UPDATE UTILITY(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Elipsus.gif)

RUNNING UPDATE UTILITY(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Elipsus.gif)

IN ORDER TO CONTINUE, AN INTERNET CONNECTION IS REQUIRED. IF YOU AREN'T CURRENTLY CONNECTED TO THE INTERNET, PLEASE CONNECT NOW BEFORE CONTINUING.


(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on May 11, 2011, 04:05:43 AM
>CONNECT
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on May 11, 2011, 04:11:11 AM
CONNECTING TO UPDATE SERVER(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Elipsus.gif)
CONNECTED
UPDATING


(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/UPDATE.gif)

UPDATE SUCCESSFUL!

LOADING GAME
(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Elipsus.gif)

You politely ask SKELLY to return your OLD MAP. He refuses, but eyes your rather fetching GOLD (PAINTED) WATCH...

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: fruckert on May 11, 2011, 04:39:48 AM
> HELP: ABOUT TEXTVENTURE

> CHANGELOG
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on May 11, 2011, 08:20:16 AM
CHANGELOG: 5.11.11 AT 11:11:11PM - FIXED CONTINUITY ERROR THAT RESULTED IN LOST KEY ITEM, RESOLVED LOAD ERROR CODE A1G313124-1310W5, INCREASED REALMSPHERE SPAWNS, ALLOW DO-OVER ON WASTED DECISIONCRAFT TO COMPENSATE FOR LIMITED REALMSPHERES EARLY ON.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Grandy on May 11, 2011, 01:20:11 PM
> MENU
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: fruckert on May 11, 2011, 01:52:14 PM
> Give (PAINTED) GOLD WATCH to Skelly.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on May 11, 2011, 05:10:53 PM
You don't have a (PAINTED) GOLD WATCH, and you don't know any Skellys, but you do try baiting SKELLY with your GOLD (PAINTED) WATCH. Semantics is this game's specialty.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: fruckert on May 11, 2011, 05:19:29 PM
> Punch SYNTAX in the FACE with FIST
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on May 11, 2011, 05:21:47 PM
SYNTAX ERROR

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: fruckert on May 11, 2011, 05:23:56 PM
//I actually laughed out loud like a weirdo at that.

> Fine. Give GOLD (PAINTED) WATCH to SKELLY.

//==> Fruckert: Resist temptation to make the lead do something stupid.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on May 11, 2011, 05:31:05 PM
SKELLY has taken the bait! It's good that he basically has the brain of a SQUIRREL, because that paint, while shiny, isn't very convincing. You take back your OLD MAP, and see that, in the short time that it's been in SKELLY's possession, he's already begun scribbling on it. Funny, it looks like it may be more complete than it was before.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: ellie-is on May 11, 2011, 06:52:31 PM
>HELP
>RECAP OF LAST FIVE PAGES OR SO
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: fruckert on May 11, 2011, 07:10:00 PM
> Read SCRIBBLINGS
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on May 11, 2011, 07:16:37 PM
//So pretty much all of Chapter 2 thus far? I don't know, I'm not really the re-capping kind... Here's an idea: Read it. It's not so bad, given that most of the posts are sentence-long progression suggestions.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: ellie-is on May 11, 2011, 07:25:55 PM
//aw, okay.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on May 12, 2011, 03:05:16 AM
You take a look at the OLD MAP with new eyes. Most of it is still a bit faded and incomplete, but you can definitely make out a few landmarks, now that SKELLY's drug-addled mind has started to fill in the blanks. You wonder how much more SKELLY knows.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: WarxePB on May 12, 2011, 06:30:25 AM
>Ask SKELLY about REALMSPHERES
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: fruckert on May 12, 2011, 06:59:43 AM
> Ask SKELLY if he knows any pirates.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: drenrin2120 on May 12, 2011, 11:48:44 AM
> MURDER FRUCK for being a metaphorical COCK BLOCK.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: fruckert on May 12, 2011, 12:18:37 PM
> Do not MURDER FRUCK.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on May 12, 2011, 05:15:25 PM
You ask SKELLY about REALMSPHERES, but he seems to become violent and confused upon hearing the word. So you change the subject to PIRATES. SKELLY loves PIRATES (you think). Sure enough, SKELLY begins rattling off PIRATE FACTS, and focuses heavily on WEALTHBEARD THE SWASHBUCKLER. Apparently, he's a local legend, and supposedly BURIED his FORTUNE somewhere in this town. But you knew that already. He seems to know a lot, but he suddenly seals his lips. It's clear he knows more, but for whatever reason, he's not talking. You wonder if you should ask why he's so suddenly silent.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: fruckert on May 12, 2011, 05:17:55 PM
> Ask him if he wants to search for the treasure with you.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on May 12, 2011, 09:59:23 PM
You ask for SKELLY and his expert PIRATE advice to join you on your quest to pay the RENT, but he declines your offer. Apparently, he won't go anywhere without his BLING, which he earned from all his years as a STREET PHARMACEUTICALS PROFESSIONAL.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: drenrin2120 on May 12, 2011, 10:41:31 PM
>Offer to help him find his BLING.

>Ensure SKELLY that you will "CAP A BROTHA" to help him.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on May 12, 2011, 11:43:49 PM
Through the use of a bit of UNINTELLIGIBLE "STREET" TALK, you convince SKELLY to join the cause upon completion of a favor. SKELLY informs you that the ABANDONED BUILDING across the street from your APARTMENT, which acts as a BASE of sorts to the local STREET GANG, is where his BLING resides. It seems that he had to offer it as payment for PROTECTION.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: X_marks_the_ed on May 14, 2011, 03:02:15 AM
>ENTER said BUILDING through the FRONT DOOR.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on May 14, 2011, 03:46:34 AM
You cross the STREET, not bothering to LOOK both ways beforehand, and nearly get flattened by a CAR. You could have DIED. Didn't your MOTHER teach you anything? Of course she did. MOMMA didn't raise no fool. Having just JAYWALKED past danger, you find yourself just before the entrance of the ABANDONED BUILDING. Entering through the FRONT DOOR would be thoroughly IDIOTIC, as there are several ARMED THUGS on the STOOP. Perhaps you should look for another way in.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: ellie-is on May 14, 2011, 04:02:35 AM
>IGNORE the ARMED THUGS and WALK past them while looking BADASS. Remember to look CONFIDENT enough so that they think that you are ONE OF THEM.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: fruckert on May 14, 2011, 04:39:46 AM
> Wait, don't do that. You've died enough today.

> Walk around the building, and try not to look like you're looking for a way in.

> Pose as a team because **** JUST GOT REAL
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on May 14, 2011, 04:56:58 AM
You reconsider your TOTALLY AWFUL first plan and decide to case the joint. The ABANDONED BUILDING doesn't seem to have any way around the side, and is attached to the buildings next to it - a LAUNDROMAT, and a PAWN SHOP.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: X_marks_the_ed on May 14, 2011, 11:23:11 PM
>ENTER the PAWN SHOP and PURCHASE an EYE PATCH and FALSE MOUSTACHE.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: fruckert on May 14, 2011, 11:33:21 PM
> Do that, that sounds pretty righteous.

> Wait, righteous? Who talks like that?

> Monologue about how the voices in your head say really crazy **** sometimes.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Natako on May 15, 2011, 12:01:09 AM
> Investigate the PAWN SHOP further.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on May 15, 2011, 03:38:57 AM
You scuttle over towards the PAWN SHOP. You try to PULL on the DOOR, but it remains static. You would try PUSHING instead, but you spot a SIGN on the DOOR that read: "Out to Lunch". Perhaps you should try coming back later.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: ellie-is on May 15, 2011, 03:53:03 AM
>Try the OTHER BUILDING
> Praise ARCHEM for his BLINKING PROMPT THING
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on May 15, 2011, 04:05:37 AM
You SPRINT past the GANG MEMBERS and into the LAUNDROMAT. The building is surprisingly empty, especially given that a handful of machines are currently running. You trip over a few piles of FILTHY CLOTHING and start looking for something of interest.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Natako on May 15, 2011, 11:55:29 PM
> Search the LAUNDROMAT for anything that might have been...left behind.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: fruckert on May 16, 2011, 12:26:21 AM
> Make a spot check first, to make sure the building is actually empty.
> Pinch your nose and then search the FILTHY CLOTHES.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on May 16, 2011, 04:13:39 AM
You begin digging through other people's UNMENTIONABLES. This shameful habit is one you've developed from keeping your unwashed clothes in your ROOM WHERE YOU THROW YOUR FILTHY, FILTHY CLOTHING. After much sifting, you find THREE (3) RUBBER BANDS, a LOVE NOTE, TWO (2) CELL PHONES, and a WALLET.

ITEM(S) ACQUIRED!

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Natako on May 16, 2011, 04:24:47 AM
>Read LOVE NOTE.
>Giggle like a SCHOOLGIRL.

YOU ARE A MAN!
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: fruckert on May 16, 2011, 04:29:45 AM
> RIFLE WALLET with MUCH PASSION
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on May 16, 2011, 07:59:24 AM
You rifle through the WALLET without a shred of concern for the fine person who owns it. An upstanding and moral citizen, you are. Most of the contents include EXPIRED GIFT CARDS, a few RECEIPTS with the ink worn off, a couple of BABY PICTURES (likely not those of the WALLET's owner), and an ID. Too bad they didn't keep their EGO and SUPEREGO in there, too. You decide that there isn't anything worth salvaging from the WALLET, but you hold onto it anyway, just in case you bump into its owner.

ITEM(S) ACQUIRED:

WALLET


You direct your attention towards the LOVE NOTE, and, with no respect for other people's privacy, begin to read it. Goodness, the saucy bits and obscene acts that are described in this LOVE NOTE! They're nearly enough to make you FAINT! HAND-HOLDING, DRIVE-INS, and KISSING ON THE LIPS are all present! Fortunately, you are a MAN! You quickly gather your bearings and laugh it off as silly teens' fantasies. Your laughter, however, has been frequently described as something not unlike a GIRLISH GIGGLE, so you restrain your laughter for a time when you feel more confident.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: fruckert on May 16, 2011, 04:04:53 PM
> Feel more confident.

> See if there's any change on the ground.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on May 17, 2011, 04:46:26 PM
You get a hold of yourself (without resorting to MASTURBATION), and begin checking the FLOOR for CHANGE. Sure enough, something has CHANGED! A trail of FOOTPRINTS left in the muck-infested CLOTHING leads off behind one of the WASHING MACHINES. You're sure that wasn't there when you came in. Then again, you weren't paying much attention to the grimy piles of nasty that litter the place.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: fruckert on May 17, 2011, 05:05:39 PM
> SLEUTHTECH LVL 4: ELEMENTARY DEAR BOY: Deduct that behind the washing machine is a SECRET ENTRANCE to the GANG HIDEOUT.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on May 17, 2011, 05:24:14 PM
You put on your best PROBLEM SLEUTH face and adventure behind the WASHING MACHINE. Jinkies! There's a SWITCH behind it!

PRESS SWITCH (Y/N)?

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: fruckert on May 17, 2011, 05:26:24 PM
> N. SLEUTH around some more.

You put on your best PROBLEM SLEUTH face
(http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r125/fruckert/mspa_face-1.png)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on May 17, 2011, 09:34:59 PM
You resist the temptation to press the SWITCH, and continue poking around the LAUNDROMAT. As you start to walk back into the main section of the LAUNDROMAT, one of the WASHING MACHINES finishes its cycle, and a loud, buzzing sound is emitted. This noisy, startling sound triggers your SPECIAL ABILITY - EXTREME CLUMSINESS. You jump, and land on a loose pile of CLOTHING. As your FOOT slips, you stumble forward, and trip over a BASKET. You fall, head-first, into an open DRYER. As you pull yourself out, you slip again on a pool of LIQUID DETERGENT. You fall backwards, and slam your head on the edge of a BENCH. As you lie in a pool of your own BLOOD, you hear the BELL at the FRONT DOOR ring, signaling someone entering. You BLACK OUT.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: fruckert on May 17, 2011, 10:39:11 PM
//Well...****.

> NEXT
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on May 18, 2011, 01:11:23 AM
You regain consciousness in darkness. The LAUNDROMAT appears to be closed, but you have no idea how long it's been. The various MACHINES have ceased their activity, and the CLOTHING has vanished, probably dissolved from the filth-levels. It still smells like a LAUNDROMAT, but a lot more of the FLOOR seems visible. You can't believe that so many people came back for their CLOTHING, and yet nobody could stop to HELP you.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Natako on May 18, 2011, 02:16:29 AM
> Check your belongings to make sure no one has pilfered anything back from you.
> Wonder why the LAUNDROMAT was locked up with you still inside of it.
> Consider issuing a complaint to the LAUNDROMAT OWNER.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: fruckert on May 18, 2011, 03:35:07 AM
> Develop phobia of loud buzzing sounds due to your traumatic experience.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on May 18, 2011, 07:51:17 AM
You search yourself, and find that somebody has stolen your WALLET! Well, it wasn't yours, per se, but you found it first, dammit! Still, no great loss. You also find that your GOLD (PAINTED) WATCH is absent! What horrible fiend could have taken it? This is truly awful news! Or, rather, it would be, if you hadn't suddenly recalled that you traded it away to SKELLY. Still, you miss that WATCH. If you had it, you could check the TIME. Perhaps if you can find the MANAGER'S QUARTERS around this place, you could find a CLOCK (and file a COMPLAINT against this deathtrap they call a business). Speaking of deathtraps, that BUZZER nearly cost you your life!

SPECIAL ABILITY ACQUIRED: BUZZERPHOBIA

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: fruckert on May 18, 2011, 06:07:17 PM
> SEARCH for MANAGER'S QUARTERS
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on May 18, 2011, 06:16:02 PM
You take a LOOK around the dark and empty LAUNDROMAT, but you don't seem to be able to locate the MANAGER'S QUARTERS. How very unusual. All you can see are rows and rows of WASHING MACHINES and DRYERS.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: WarxePB on May 18, 2011, 07:58:00 PM
> Start looting
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on May 19, 2011, 01:01:13 AM
You begin grabbing anything that isn't nailed down. By the time you're done, you have an empty bottle of DETERGENT, TWO (2) MISMATCHED SOCKS, a QUARTER, and, ironically, THREE (3) NAILS. You suppose this place isn't all that lootable.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: fruckert on May 19, 2011, 01:04:57 AM
> Go press the goddamn button while feeling ashamed that you didn't do so in the first place.

> Something: Buzz.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on May 19, 2011, 06:48:57 AM
You backtrack to the SWITCH you found, and give it a flick. Behind you, an out of order (or so it had been marked) WASHING MACHINE turns on. As you approach it to investigate, it emits a loud buzzing sound, scaring the hell out of you. As you curl into the fetal position, you see the WASHING MACHINE sink into the ground, revealing a SECRET ROOM. This is one high-tech LAUNDROMAT, that's for sure.

INVESTIGATE (Y/N)?

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: fruckert on May 19, 2011, 04:00:30 PM
> Y
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on May 19, 2011, 08:54:22 PM
You gear up to take a step into the unknown. The secret room seems dark and foreboding, but your SPIRIT OF ADVENTURE simply will not tolerate cowardice. You take a step in, and the WASHING MACHINE returns to its original location, sealing you in. The darkness engulfs you, and the world is shut out. A menacing buzz rings out, and you instantly regret your decision. With no light, no knowledge of where you are, and an overwhelming fear plaguing your mind, you begin to panic. You hear FOOTSTEPS approaching, making you feel even more vulnerable.

END OF CHAPTER TWO (2)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on May 19, 2011, 09:00:05 PM
CHAPTER III - DEN OF BADNESS

As your eyes adjust to the darkness, you see that you are in a TUNNEL. You don't believe it's an approved addition to the complex. The FOOTSTEPS begin to fade, but the message is clear: You are not alone here. Perhaps it would be a good idea to feel around for an EXIT.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: ellie-is on May 20, 2011, 05:19:30 PM
>Feel yourself, looking for an EXIT.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: fruckert on May 20, 2011, 06:21:34 PM
> Feel around yourself, looking for an EXIT.

> Charge down the hall, shouting profanities and being silly.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on May 21, 2011, 06:00:22 PM
You wander about, feeling around for anything that can take you out of this dark hell, when your SPECIAL ABILITY activates again. You trip over something, slam into a WALL, and fall backwards onto whatever it was that you tripped over, hitting your head on it. Having recently recovered from a HEAD INJURY, you fear a CONCUSSION may be pending. Still, you grab the mysterious item. After a bit of feeling around, you discover that the item is, miraculously, a LANTERN. It's likely fueled by BATTERY, as it seems to be made of plastic.

ACTIVATE LANTERN (Y/N)?

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: fruckert on May 21, 2011, 06:13:43 PM
> Y
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on May 22, 2011, 06:04:31 AM
You activate the LANTERN, and see a surprisingly short TUNNEL in front of you, with a DOOR at the end.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Natako on May 22, 2011, 10:46:28 PM
> Proceed down the TUNNEL.
> Inspect the DOOR.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on May 22, 2011, 10:54:02 PM
You tread lightly down this eerie TUNNEL, trying not to trigger your SPECIAL ABILITY. As you reach the DOOR, you hear the FOOTSTEPS approaching again. In the interest of safety, your DOUSE the LIGHTS.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on May 25, 2011, 02:59:34 AM
>HIDE BEHIND THE DOOR
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on May 25, 2011, 03:03:14 AM
//Watch for the bold joke.

You hide in the CORNER behind the DOOR, preparing for the worst. It seems that this BOLD move was worth the effort, as the DOOR opens, and an unidentified man walks into the TUNNEL. He seems to be having trouble finding the LIGHT SWITCH. Not much different from you, is he?

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: fruckert on May 25, 2011, 03:52:23 AM
> Walk into door.

> Erm...walk into the room.
> Be stealthy.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on May 25, 2011, 04:36:36 AM
You walk into the DOOR, slamming your face. Despite possibly breaking your NOSE, the bang is surprisingly quiet, and doesn't ALERT your new friend. You slip into the ROOM and notice that there is a manual LOCK on the DOOR KNOB. You begin forming an IDEA that may increase your STEALTHINESS.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on May 28, 2011, 12:09:45 AM
>CLOSE THE DOOR AND LOCK THE GUY IN
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on May 28, 2011, 12:13:09 AM
You swiftly close the DOOR and lock it up tight. The fellow on the other end bangs on the DOOR rather energetically, however, the DOOR seems to be rather SOUND-PROOF. That explains why your FACEDOOR action earlier on was so quiet, you guess. It's funny, though. You could swear that the muffled banging sounds just like your LANDLORD.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on June 01, 2011, 04:36:13 PM
//Can someone do something before I have to force things along myself again? Not that I'd mind playing this myself, but it's less interesting.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: fruckert on June 01, 2011, 10:09:03 PM
> CONSPIRACRAFT LVL 10: LIZARDMEN: Deduce that your landlord is a drug kingpin and runs the city's crime ring!

> No, wait, that's stupid.

> LOOK
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on June 01, 2011, 11:06:22 PM
You decide not to entertain any silly ideas about your LANDLORD, and take a LOOK around instead. It's a bit dark, but you can see that the joint is a bit MESSY. From where you are, there is a STAIRCASE in FRONT of you, with its ENTRANCE to your RIGHT. To your LEFT is a HALLWAY with a few WINDOWS providing you with what some might call "light". There appears to be a RECEPTION DESK at the far end of the HALLWAY, suggesting that the ENTRANCE is also down there.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: fruckert on June 01, 2011, 11:08:50 PM
> Poke around the RECEPTION DESK, look for a key ring or something like that.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on June 02, 2011, 03:41:57 PM
You approach the RECEPTION DESK in a cautious fashion. As you near the end of the HALLWAY, you see an ORANGE GLOW and hear CHATTER. You begin to think that some extra finesse may be necessary if you wish to continue.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: fruckert on June 02, 2011, 09:22:56 PM
> Eavesdrop.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on June 02, 2011, 09:44:29 PM
Going against everything your MOTHER taught you, you listen in on other peoples' CONVERSATION. They are talking about SKELLY. They mention his BLING, and state that someone by the name of ROCK DOG now has it in his possession. You suspect that ROCK DOG may be something of a GANG LEADER. You hear some movement from the ROOM, and FOOTSTEPS begin to approach.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: fruckert on June 02, 2011, 10:17:30 PM
> HIDE!
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on June 03, 2011, 12:42:11 AM
HIDING sounds like a very good idea right about now. So good, in fact, that it should be ILLEGAL. In some states, it most likely is. Still, one question remains: Where should you HIDE?

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: fruckert on June 03, 2011, 12:48:00 AM
> Uh...staircase?
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on June 03, 2011, 01:53:42 AM
You run to the STAIRCASE, hoping that they aren't headed in that direction. You should try hoping harder, because those FOOTSTEPS are growing louder.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on June 08, 2011, 04:04:34 PM
//Disappointed.

>MOVE UPSTAIRS, TAKE A QUICK LOOK AROUND
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on June 08, 2011, 04:08:28 PM
You quickly move UPSTAIRS and investigate your surroundings. You are in a HALLWAY lined with DOORS on either side. What a surprise, given that you're in an APARTMENT. There are TWO (2) DOORS on the LEFT that are BOARDED UP, and ONE (1) DOOR on the RIGHT that has been KICKED IN.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Natako on June 14, 2011, 06:06:29 AM
> Inspect the only DOOR that isn't boarded off.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on June 14, 2011, 07:39:38 AM
You quickly approach the KICKED IN DOOR, and make your way into the ROOM. You appear to be in some sort of MEETING ROOM, with a large TABLE surrounded by several CHAIRS. There is another DOOR to the side of the ROOM, a large pile of TRASH BAGS (likely filled with REFUSE) in the corner, and a DRESSER on the other side of the TABLE. The FOOTSTEPS are right on your tail. Whatever you're planning on doing, do it fast.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: fruckert on June 14, 2011, 08:11:45 AM
> Hide in the TRASH BAG PILE.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on June 14, 2011, 06:23:14 PM
Against your better judgement, you decide that the best course of action is to HIDE amongst the RUBBISH. Perhaps you'll catch a glimpse of your unknowing pursuers while you hide. As you bury yourself in the most foul-smelling mess you've seen since you left your APARTMENT, the FOOTSTEPS and the PERSONS attached to them round the corner. You manage to settle down just in time to avoid DETECTION, lucky you. There are FIVE (5) GANG MEMBERS taking their seats at the TABLE. They seem to be relaxing. A SIXTH man comes from the other ROOM with several BEERS, and settles down with the rest of them. After a few minutes, one more man enters, and takes a seat at the HEAD of the TABLE. The other men quickly cease their conversations, and focus their attention on what you assume to be their LEADER. Is this that ROCK DOG guy that they were talking about earlier?

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: fruckert on June 15, 2011, 05:05:03 AM
> EAVESDROP
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on June 15, 2011, 05:56:23 PM
You once again ignore your mother's WORDS OF ADVICE, and listen in on other peoples' conversation. From the sounds of it, these fellows have a rather limited VOCABULARY that consists largely of OBSCENITIES. The vulgar display would be enough to make a hearty SAILOR blush. You struggle not to grow too RED yourself, and perk up your EARS. Their almost CAVEMAN speaking is vaguely comprehensible, but you get the point: SKELLY happened to mention both the MAP and your plans during a SHAKEDOWN earlier today. Just how many HOURS passed while you were BLEEDING on the LAUNDROMAT FLOOR? Well, things certainly have become more complicated, haven't they? After a while longer, the VARIOUS VULGAR VILLAINS dispatch, likely headed off to stand GUARD, waiting for YOU. Great.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: fruckert on June 16, 2011, 10:56:47 PM
> Wait until they're all gone, and then get out of cover.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on June 16, 2011, 11:59:11 PM
The THUGS have left the BUILDING (or, at least, the ROOM), so it seems like a good time to get out of this mess pile. Perhaps you should INVESTIGATE the area a little. Cautiously, of course, as someone may show up at any time.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: ellie-is on June 27, 2011, 12:29:51 AM
> Revive THE GAME
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on June 27, 2011, 02:52:01 AM
You pick up the CARTRIDGE and BLOW on the GOLD CONNECTION PINS. SOAKED in SALIVA the CARTRIDGE is re-inserted into the CONSOLE.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/TEXTVENTURE.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: ellie-is on June 27, 2011, 03:00:14 AM
Archem, you're a god.
>Presses A over and over like a retard.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on June 27, 2011, 03:57:54 AM
INPUT - "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

You SCREAM loudly, realizing only a moment too late that you're still in the IN THE PRESENCE OF ENEMIES (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M53hCKBqckE). Holy hyperlinks, Batman! You'd better HIDE before someone comes!

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on June 29, 2011, 04:05:23 PM
//So we get this thing rolling again, and nobody posts? This isn't a one-man show, guys. That's just boring.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: fruckert on June 29, 2011, 08:14:49 PM
> REMIND yourself of the surroundings.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on June 29, 2011, 11:05:18 PM
The filthy ROOM has a TABLE, several CHAIRS, a small MOUNTAIN OF TRASH BAGS (AND TRASH), an OPEN DOOR to the HALLWAY, and an unexplored DOOR to another ROOM.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: fruckert on June 30, 2011, 12:07:22 AM
> DIVE into the other room
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Uberpwn_w00t on June 30, 2011, 04:25:21 AM
> EXPLORE the unexplored DOOR
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on June 30, 2011, 07:34:15 AM
You explore the DOOR. It's a fine DOOR, made of a premium-grade LUMBER, and a KNOB of STEEL. But enough about that, someone is coming! You DIVE into the ROOM, fearing the worst. Oh, it's a KITCHEN. Cozy.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Uberpwn_w00t on June 30, 2011, 02:40:51 PM
> CLIMB into the nearest CABINET

Alternatively,
> PREPARE a DELICIOUS SOUP

EDIT: >SEARCH for a KNIFE
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: fruckert on June 30, 2011, 09:01:39 PM
> HIDE in a CABINET
> FIND a KNIFE
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on July 02, 2011, 06:05:55 AM
You decide (doubly so) that HIDING in a CABINET is the way to go. You're a bit tall for the task, so you make room by REMOVING a SILVERWARE DRAWER. By doing this, you notice a few rather rusty, yet surprisingly sharp KNIVES. You make sure to grab at least ONE (1), for safety's sake, before climbing into the cramped, dark, rotting CABINET. Safe.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: fruckert on July 02, 2011, 08:47:41 AM
> IGNORE mother's ADVICE.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on July 02, 2011, 08:34:44 PM
You briefly consider mixing WHITES with COLOREDS, defying the color-barrier on your next load of LAUNDRY the next time you find yourself in the LAUNDROMAT, but that seems like something insignificant, given the circumstances. Perhaps it's best to LISTEN intensely instead. The person who was hot on your trail continues to approach. The FOOTSTEPS grow in their intensity until you are certain that the person who owns them is right outside your hidey-hole. Suddenly, they become silent. You hear a man's voice. "Gotcha".

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: ellie-is on July 02, 2011, 09:42:56 PM
>KICK the CLOSET DOOR open, hopefully knocking out whoever is in there
>RUN FOR YOUR LIFE
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: fruckert on July 03, 2011, 12:15:59 AM
> SAVE GAME

> SURRENDER
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on July 07, 2011, 04:28:54 PM
GAME SAVED

You decide that the best course of action is to SURRENDER... With the point of your KNIFE! You KICK open the CABINET DOOR, and attempt to CHARGE your "friend". You realize just after the fact that it's a pretty tight fit in there, and you struggle to get out. Precious seconds, wasted on poor planning. As you finish the awkward task of GETTING OUT, you notice a rather small and not-so-intimidating fellow with a look of complete SHOCK on his face. You aren't too sure of how to react, either.

Well, go on! Do something before he flips his fucking lid!

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Uberpwn_w00t on July 13, 2011, 03:19:29 AM
> HOLD him at KNIFE POINT
> Demand that he SPILL THE BEANS
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on July 13, 2011, 08:53:07 AM
You allow your KNIFE to introduce itself with a sharp-witted comment and a clever point. You tend to PERSONIFY your cutlery for no real reason. He spills the CAN OF BEANS he has in his hand. You suppose that, since it's an unopened CAN, it can't really spill, but who wants to pass up this perfectly good wordplay?

WORDPLAY SKILL LEVEL UP!

You're fairly certain that isn't important now, and likely won't be of any real significance ever. You take a step forward, suspecting now that you may have blown your cover over a MISUNDERSTANDING.

MISUNDERSTANDINGCRAFT LEVEL UP!

You're fairly certain that isn't even a real skill. You take a step forward, to try and convince this rather scrawny fellow to give you VITAL INFORMATION of a decidedly non-specific fashion. You notice that a FLOOR TILE is loose under your FOOT. Your SPECIAL ABILITY - EXTREME CLUMSINESS activates. Your forward momentum and purloined point do their worst. You'd rather not describe the messy scene.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: fruckert on July 13, 2011, 09:22:33 AM
> CURSE
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on July 13, 2011, 03:45:08 PM
You attempt to emit a rather vulgar phrase, but you think it would be rather impolite to the poor fellow before you. You did just gut his CAN OF BEANS right in front of his eyes. He must be traumatized.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: ellie-is on July 13, 2011, 03:51:38 PM
> APOLOGIZE
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on July 13, 2011, 04:21:10 PM
You apologize... With the point of your KNIFE! No, that's stupid. You genuinely apologize. The guy looks distraught, and likely terrified by your insane knife-antics. It seems that your apology goes a long way in calming him down. He doesn't seem too hostile, and  he looks rather confused. Perhaps you can ABUSE this fact...

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: ellie-is on July 13, 2011, 05:09:21 PM
> ABUSE his confusion
> EXTRACT information
> REMIND YOURSELF what information you needed in the first place and how to use it
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on July 13, 2011, 07:11:41 PM
You start with the small stuff. You ask him who he is, in as calm a voice as possible. He replies, in a rather nervous fashion, that he's the KID BROTHER of the BOSS, and that he was looking for something to eat. He's never been comfortable around all the RUFFIANS that populate the building, so he was shocked half to death when you popped out with a KNIFE. He doesn't seem to realize that you're not in the gang. You ABUSE this fact by acting tougher than you ought to, and start by asking who the BOSS is again, uh, just to quiz him. Yeah, a quiz. That should prove he's the BOSS' KID BROTHER. The kid gives you a suspicious GLARE before telling you that he's called ROCK DOG, but his real name is MAURICE. You ask where MAURICE "ROCK DOG" LASTNAME is right now, and what he's up to. MAURICE'S BROTHER (who we can only assume is named something like VINCENT) lets you know that you used the wrong last name, but whatever, ROCK DOG is hanging out UPSTAIRS while the GANG wanders around, possibly doing GANG-STUFFS. You wonder if you should keep this WELL OF KNOWLEDGE, VINCENT nearby as something of a cover/informant for the time you spend in this ramshackle APARTMENT COMPLEX?

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: fruckert on July 13, 2011, 07:31:11 PM
> IMAGINATIONCRAFT LVL 2: NICKNAMERMcGEE: Come up with a good GANG NAME for yourself.

> Keep Vincent around.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on July 14, 2011, 01:58:33 AM
You decide to ask VINCENT to hang around a bit. You like him (or so you tell him), and want to see what he's made of (or so you tell him). You introduce yourself as SNAKE, an alias you've picked because of your sneaky INFILTRATION and excellent SPY-WORK. Sneaky, like a SNAKE. Certainly, that's the only possible conclusion one could reach, based on the facts.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on July 25, 2011, 03:24:47 AM
//Ahem...
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: fruckert on July 25, 2011, 04:26:33 AM
> GO FORTH AND EXPLORE
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: ellie-is on July 25, 2011, 09:43:36 PM
> YES, THAT.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on July 26, 2011, 01:37:03 AM
You decide that EXPLORATION is key. There are only two ENTRIES to the KITCHEN, and you already came in through one of them. The other leads into a moderately-sized ROOM with a TV, a COUCH, and a CLOSED DOOR.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: fruckert on July 26, 2011, 01:47:26 AM
> Is the TV on?

> Ask Vincent what's through the closed door.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on July 26, 2011, 06:03:22 AM
There are re-runs of THE WONDER YEARS on the TV. You hate that show. Or do you? You can't remember. What was it about again? You decide to ask VINCENT if he likes it, and plan on mimicking his response. He instead decides to blabber on about how the DOOR on the far side of the ROOM leads UPSTAIRS, where his BROTHER'S LAIR is. Chatty Cathy.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on August 18, 2011, 09:49:30 PM
//May we CONTINUE (Y/N)?
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: ellie-is on August 18, 2011, 11:47:34 PM
>QUESTION
>What happens if I say [N]?
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on August 19, 2011, 03:07:41 AM
//The game will enter demonstration mode until continued.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Uberpwn_w00t on March 15, 2012, 10:56:42 PM
>[Y]
>Ask for RECAP
>Hope other people still want to DO this
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on March 16, 2012, 12:40:52 AM
//Uh, damn, I forgot what was going on. Let's all re-read it a bit and recap on our own. If you asses are too lazy, I'll recap once I've re-read this. Sure wish it hadn't gone into hibernation for so long.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Moosetroop11 on March 16, 2012, 03:13:51 AM
>NEW PLAYER ENTERS the ROOM
>Hello NEW PLAYER. This  thread looks COMPLICATED. Would you like to view the TUTORIAL [y/n]?
>n
>SAY: Hi guys! what's up?
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on March 16, 2012, 04:13:44 AM
LOAD SAVE 01

Save loaded.

//Fast forward through the lame stuff, and get to the point!

You get your trusty rusty KNIFE out, and REMIND yourself of RECENT EVENTS. You SNEAKED into this ramshackle APARTMENT COMPLEX, where you learned about MAURICE "ROCK DOG" LASTNAME, his GANG and that he knows of your PRESENCE. It is assumed that he has SKELLY'S GATE KEY. You ASSAULTED VINCENT, ROCK DOG'S YOUNGER BROTHER with your KNIFE. After SMOOTHING THINGS OVER with him, you convince him that you are in the GANG, and that you are called SNAKE. The GANG is searching for you, but being around VINCENT will likely throw them off your trail. You are standing in a KITCHEN with two DOORS one leads back into the MEETING ROOM, while the other is still unexplored. ROCK DOG'S LAIR is UPSTAIRS, but you don't yet know how to get there.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: fruckert on March 17, 2012, 07:16:17 PM
> BARGE into UNEXPLORED ROOM, shouting profanities whilst acting drunkenly.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on March 18, 2012, 12:40:00 AM
You KICK in the DOOR after downing a few PINTS of GREEN BEER that you saw lying around. Perhaps that wouldn't be advisable, but it's too late for that. You yell a few UNLADYLIKE INSULTS with your SLUR VOCALIZATION settings cranked all the way up. Most people would be quite OFFENDED at your insistence of the DOOR'S heritage, but who can blame you for what your SLUR VOCALIZATION does? Poor VINCENT shouldn't be subjected to your VULGAR RAVINGS any longer, so we'll wait for the part where you're sober again.

VULGAR RAVINGSCRAFT LEVEL UP!

You assign your SKILL POINTS and lose any STATUS EFFECTS because of the LEVEL UP. VINCENT explains that this ROOM is actually a STAIRWELL, a fact that you feel could have been DEDUCED without his input. You feel that you've been robbed of DEDUCTION EXPERIENCE, but you don't complain. He still seems shocked by your LEVEL 47 VULGAR RAVINGS, which have only grown stronger since he last heard them.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Uberpwn_w00t on March 18, 2012, 11:56:23 PM
>PROCEED up STAIRWELL with caution
>LISTEN carefully
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on March 19, 2012, 12:14:45 AM
You perk up your EARS and take the first step up. You don't seem to be picking up on much of anything, but it sure is DARK up here. At any minute, your SPECIAL ABILITY could activate! Perhaps you should USE something in your INVENTORY to avoid another nasty spill.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Uberpwn_w00t on March 19, 2012, 03:10:08 AM
>PAUSE
>CHECK INVENTORY
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on March 19, 2012, 04:57:47 AM
//Man, I had to re-read the whole damn thing to update my inventory list. I forgot how funny this got.

You check your INVENTORY

INVENTORY:

CELL PHONES (2)
DETERGENT
KEYS
LANTERN
LOCKBOX
LOVE NOTE
MISMATCHED SOCKS
NAILS (3)
OLD MAP
PAINTBALL GUN
PANTS
QUARTER (1)
REVOLVER
RUBBER BANDS (3)
RUSTY KNIFE
WALLET (EMPTY)
WALLET > EXPIRED GIFT CARDS, RECEIPTS, BABY PICTURES, ID (BUT NO EGO OR SUPER EGO)


(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Moosetroop11 on March 19, 2012, 06:13:34 PM
> USE the CELLPHONE to ILLUMINATE STAIRWELL
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on March 19, 2012, 08:33:27 PM
You FLIP open one of the CELL PHONES (yes, it's a flip phone) and attempt to light up your path. Sadly, this ANTIQUE MODEL seems to be from before the times of BACKLIT SCREENS, and does little to aid your vision. The other CELL PHONE seems to have died during your time wandering through these HALLS. Success is not your middle name (it's actually RANDOLF. EDGE "SNAKE" RANDOLF MCCOY).

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Moosetroop11 on March 19, 2012, 10:14:07 PM
>Use Ability - Squint
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on March 19, 2012, 10:27:52 PM
USER ABILITY SQUINT NOT YET ACQUIRED!

Well dang. Can't you just try closing your EYES a little and see if it works anyway? You tend to hate it when games make you learn things that people learn naturally in REAL LIFE. VINCENT seems to be getting IMPATIENT, and wonders aloud about why the TWO (2) of you are just STANDING AROUND.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Uberpwn_w00t on March 19, 2012, 10:48:58 PM
>TELL VINCENT to SHUT his GOSH-DARNED YAPPER
>ATTEMPT to USE LANTERN (maybe it's one of those nifty crankable ones? EDIT: Just kidding. I reread everything now. It's battery powered. You can crank it anyway for fits and giggles though.)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on March 21, 2012, 06:00:11 PM
You SLAP VNCENT around a little to get him to CLAM DOWN! That's like a portmanteau of CLAM UP and CALM DOWN. You're so clever when you want to be. VINCENT begins to OBJECT, since he hasn't said a word, but he gets the message: "SPEAK and I'll SLAP you again"! You take this MOMENT OF CLARITY to grab your LANTERN and ACTIVATE. The path before you lights up, and reveals that the STAIRS go up for a bit. More than you expected, in fact. Possibly even more than that! Well, perhaps it's time to begin your ASCENSION.

BEGIN ASCENSION?

(Y/N)


(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Moosetroop11 on March 23, 2012, 03:50:43 AM
>y
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on March 23, 2012, 04:47:31 AM
You take a step upward, only for your FOOT to slip on the N KEY, and that pesky SPECIAL ABILITY kicks in again. As you PANIC and watch helplessly as your EXTREME CLUMSINESS does its worst, VINCENT CATCHES you. He informs you that you should really watch your step, as these STAIRS are quite old. ANTIQUES, in fact, passed down from his GRANDMOTHER. She was a kind old woman with a passion for STEPS of all sorts. VINCENT offers to show you her old LADDER collection later, to which you politely decline. You take a more cautious approach to this STAIRS thing, and eventually make it to the top. There is a ROOM with a SIGN on the DOOR which reads: "ROCK DOG'S LAIR - Knock before entering, or you will be SHOT!" Seems kind of him to WARN you.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Uberpwn_w00t on March 23, 2012, 05:35:04 PM
> SCHEME with Vincent
> ASSUME GANGSTER IDENTITY
> KNOCK on the DOOR and TELL ROCK DOG that you FOUND his KID MESSING AROUND in the KITCHEN
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on March 23, 2012, 05:50:36 PM
After a heart bowl of SCHEMING STEW, you make VINCENT KNOCK on the DOOR for you. He does his best impersonation of you, and explains that he (you) found VINCENT (him) in the KITCHEN (there). ROCK DOG sees right through the LOUSY VOICE ACTING, and KICKS the DOOR in (out?). You come face-to-face with ROCK DOG, the meanest S.O.B. this side of the KITCHEN. He seems a bit INTOXICATED right now, possibly from substances that aren't even ALCOHOLIC (or even LEGAL). He seems simultaneously LAX and AGGRESSIVE, making for an unpredictable encounter. He doesn't seem to recognize you, but in his state, that hardly seems like an issue. He asks you what the hell you're doing here.

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Meiscool on March 23, 2012, 07:19:18 PM
Hand Rock Dog the Love Note.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on March 23, 2012, 08:35:16 PM
You hand ROCK DOG the LOVE NOTE you've been holding tenderly all this time. As he READS it, his face begins to grow a rather deep, reddish hue. VINCENT tries to take a glance at it, but is promptly PUSHED down the STAIRS. Somebody's taking this very seriously! After a few moments, ROCK DOG lets you down softly. He says that, while he's completely flattered, and thinks that you're a really great guy, his heart already belongs to another. Someone who's always been there for him. Someone with better B-BALL SKILLS. Someone with a VAGINA. It's not you, it's him. He says that he hopes you can stay friends, and that he'll always be close to you, even if he can't be with you romantically. He then PUSHES you down the STAIRS. As you tumble down and slam right into the barely recovered VINCENT, you think you can hear him murmur "I love you". You can never be sure, because at that moment, GUNFIRE erupts DOWNSTAIRS. ROCK DOG VAULTS over the two of you and out the DOOR to INVESTIGATE. Perhaps this is your chance to do a little INVESTIGATING of your own. What were you looking for again?

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Meiscool on March 24, 2012, 05:17:41 AM
Investigate. Search for B-Ball skills and Vagina.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Uberpwn_w00t on March 26, 2012, 03:52:27 AM
>GRAB VINCENT and head UPSTAIRS
>SEARCH for any CLUES pertaining to the whereabouts of SKELLY'S BLING
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on March 26, 2012, 11:44:51 PM
You GRAB VINCENT by his B-BALL JERSEY (which would suggest MAD B-BALL SKILLS), and make your way back up the STAIRS. You make your way into ROCK DOG'S OFFICE, and begin to poke around for anything that can help you find SKELLY'S BLING. This place is a bit of a mess. You wonder how you'll ever find anything in a place like this. VINCENT asks you what you're looking for, and starts to question you about not responding to the GUNFIRE DOWNSTAIRS. You should make up a LIE, and quick!

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Uberpwn_w00t on March 30, 2012, 03:00:42 AM
>CALMLY EXPLAIN to VINCENT that you have lost your TV REMOTE. (You swear it's vanished into thin-air, and you've already checked behind the COUCH)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on April 01, 2012, 11:04:18 PM
You SLOWLY and [/b]CALMLY[/b] tell VINCENT that you can't find the TV REMOTE. As luck would have it, be has one on hand that he can't quite IDENTIFY. You then PUSH him down the STAIRS. As he falls, you quickly tear up the ROOM. He returns after a few seconds, rather irritated by your JUVENILE actions. You explain that it's part of being a tough-as-nails GANG MEMBER. He accepts your APOLOGY, which was really more of an EXCUSE, and starts to help you. While you search, you consider going for broke and simply asking if he knows where ROCK DOG stashes his BLING.

GO FOR BROKE (Y/N)?

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Uberpwn_w00t on April 02, 2012, 03:50:39 AM
>Y
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on April 02, 2012, 04:08:25 AM
You bluntly ask where ROCK DOG keeps his BLING, a rather BOLD move on your part. VINCENT'S EYES NARROW...

QUICK TIME EVENT

PRESS D TO NOT DIE


(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: fruckert on April 02, 2012, 05:11:29 AM
F
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on April 03, 2012, 01:58:50 AM
You STUMBLE over your words as you try to counter VINCENT'S STARE, and you FALL out a nearby WINDOW. The PLUMMET is quite lethal.

GAME OVER

CONTINUE?


(http://img585.imageshack.us/img585/8084/thefinalcountdown.gif)

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Uberpwn_w00t on April 03, 2012, 06:07:04 AM
> CONTINUE
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on April 04, 2012, 02:15:17 AM
You CONTINUE your quest... From beyond the GRAVE! Woooh!

No? You're just retying from a CHECKPOINT? Oh. Well then... How 'bout that QTE? Hmm? Press D or something?

PRESS D TO NOT DIE

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: fruckert on April 04, 2012, 02:24:25 AM
> DESPERATELY DEPRESS the D key.
Title: Re: TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!
Post by: Archem on April 04, 2012, 04:11:44 AM
You swiftly D your way out of this possible mess by SHOVING VINCENT down the STAIRS again. In a tangle of limbs, VINCENT cries out in agony. He RECOVERS, same as before, and approaches you with a SULLEN DEMEANOR. He murmurs something about you being RUDE and UNNECESSARILY VIOLENT, then states that you could have just said "please". He goes on to state that ROCK DOG keeps his BLING on his person at all times, to ensure that no sticky fingers try to make off with it. He wonders aloud about your reasons for wanting this info, but you play it cool by SHOVING him down the STAIRS... Again. This might be habit-forming.

(http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g32/Archem2/Prompt.gif)