Make a wish and have it horribly corrupted!

[fruckert]

Granted, but you become a stereotypical nerd programmer, and never have sex again
Also, you suck at it

I wish that I'd remember to comment my code

[DedlellyDeth]

Granted. Your code, however, is overly commented to the point that you can't follow the code anymore.

I wish I could think of a good Halloween costume.

[Rahl]

Granted but good for you means crappy for everyone else...

I wish I had a boat so I could never ride in it.

[fruckert]

Granted. It comes alive and murders you with it's propeller because you never ride in it

I wish I had some chicken

[Rahl]

Congratulations have a nice honeymoon.

I wish for stuff.

[fruckert]

Granted, your face melts as a result

I wish I understood what Rahl ment

[Rahl]

Granted but understanding of Rahl means becoming omnicient for he is as well and that much information is too much for such a lowly mortal to encounter so the universe instead of having your mind eplode chains you to a wall in a room where a man stands in front of you anc randomly kicks you in the nuts for the rest of eternity, congratualtions on the immortality at last. And the mans name is Bruce Lee. The worst part is not knowing when the foot will come.

I wish that linguistics was not a requirement for my major....

[Musha]

Granted.  Exotic Dancing is a requirement instead.

I wish I could blind people with my sheer awesomeness.

[Rahl]

Granted you are now blind.

I wish people werent so stupid.

[Musha]

Granted, now they're all smarter than you.

I wish my computer wasn't broken.

[Fisherson]

Granted, but you can't control it and asplode like Sylar in Heroes season 1.

I wish I had tail.

[_JeT_]

Granted, but a world class animal poacher hunts you down for your tail. He mounts it on his wall.

I wish I could pee fire.

[fruckert]

Granted, but you ain't fireproof

I wish that I wasn't so FREAKED THE **** OUT RIGHT NOW!!!1!

[Rahl]

Granted your even more freaked out 2 seconds from now.

I wish for Surge.

[Musha]

Granted:
<img src="http://www.fantasykat.com/ch/Images/sq/surge1.jpg">
Now what are you going to <i>do</i> with him?

I wish for a donut.