Make a wish and have it horribly corrupted!

[fruckert]

Granted. No corruption, because nub pwning is necessary

I wish leetspeak didn't exist

[WarxePB]

Granted. Instead, we all have to learn Newspeak to talk over the net. (Look up the novel 1984 if you don't get it.)

I wish that I had twenty virgin women at my command.

[Darrellito]

Granted, but they won't touch you. At all. And they giggle everytime that you show them your penis.

I wish the next poster had a dog named Lucky, and that said dog would be hit by a milk truck.

[fruckert]

...that actually happened, dude

I wish for a million golds

[arcaine91]

Granted. You get one million Gaia gold. Unfortunately, you can only spend it on Indiana Jones hats.

I wish that the corruption of this wish would itself be corrupted.

[Rahl]

Granted, you get punched in the face but the guy that does it gets punched in his face too.

I wish for a good free virus scanner.

[WarxePB]

Granted. It's good, but not great - your computer still gets fried by a billion viruses, as opposed to a billion and three.

I wish that all of my obscure internet quotes were understood by everyone ("Because your mother's a whore!" "That's beside the point!")

[fruckert]

Granted, but everyone thinks you're lame for saying them now

I wish I had better grammar

[Rahl]

Granted but its so good no one can understand it either because everyone else speaks with bad grammar.

I wish for more AA batteries for xbox controller.

[arcaine91]

Granted. A member of Alcoholics Anonymous gives you 5,000 C-cell batteries.

I wish that the PS3 remake of FF7 was real, and not just a tech demo.

[WarxePB]

Granted, but they release it as 3 separate games, each at full price. And... uhh... they make Squall the main character.

I wish that Nintendo made a Super Wii with the processing power of the X360, more sensitive motion controls, and was under $400 US dollars.

[fruckert]

Granted. All the games you find for it are broken

I wish for green
Yes
Green

[Rahl]

Congratulations, various parts of you body are now green, so now do you think she was worth it??

I wish for life to make sense.

[zuhane]

It makes perfect sense. There's nothing to accomplish or figure out and you are placed in a chair and fed on a drip in a room - alone for the rest of your life.

I wish I had a pet Gibbon called Calcium and he told funny jokes.

[mironic]

granted.... but after a day he will kill you.

i wish for a spearmint sugar free axle flavored chewing hard candy