Gender Confusion?

[Zoltar]

Okay I need to ask you people something. How do know which gender you are? Cause I've been having weird fantasies lately about wanting to grow breasts and a vagina. Started out harmless gag fun but now? I'm actually curious about how it'd feel to be a woman. Not just dressing up and stuff but to actually live that way. My roommate say I should just RP this stuff out like he does but I only am active mostly here and stuff. Soooo should I just save up and go under the knife or maybe try ordering some cross dressing stuff? I'd like your opinion before I make any decision.

[Fisherson]

Whoa, whoa! Slow down, Zolty! Plastic surgery isn't something that should be taken lightly. o.o; Particully not of this permanent type of nature. Firstly I, as a avid TG TF fan, once too read into this and I can tell you if you get your wang clipped? Ain't no coming back. You'll be a gal from then on. There's also the cost to consider and the fact you may, as your roomate suggests be experiencing gender envy. Probably you like TF TG webcomics like El Goonish and the Wotch? Well that's just the fun side of back forth TG. Read Misfile.  It's more realistic on the subject of suddenly waking up as a girl and having to adjust your life around your new gender. There's also ramifications of physiological stuff with this. You have to consult a shrink to make sure you ready to be a woman all the time. Oh sure it seems fun for Poof TG stuff, but have you thought about all the things you enjoy as a man? Stamina, no back aches from giant boobs, not having to endure the ridicule of others? There's allot more to it than the aesthetics. ^^; If you need to TG TF in RPs? Come see me on Skype. I do all kinds and I would love to have another person who shares the joys of it. Oh one last note...If it's about having "female desires"? IE: Wanting to be the "girl" in a relationship or in bed or whatever, you should look into seeing if you not bisexual, Zolty. Cause you seem to like girls here and in our RPs. *Shrugs* I dunno, just trying to help you, Zoltar.

[Dr. Ace]

Get a psych evaluation before deciding on mutilation, Jesus.

[Meiscool]

Yeah see a psychiatrist. They aren't just for people with disorders; they can help anyone going through mental hardship.

[Apex]

If there isn't a time limit, I say save the more permanent solutions for last. I agree with the others, try getting some psychiatric help first. There is no shame in asking for help, more people should. Good luck with whatever you decide, and for whatever it counts for, we have your back.

[Archem]

1. Don't ask people on the internet about this kind of thing.
2. Since you did, consider our advice. I like the idea of seeing a psychiatrist. It's not a sign of being mentally ill, it's a sign of being unsure of yourself, and having someone who is trained to help you understand yourself.
3. Frank Sinatra - Fools Rush In (1960)
4. I've publicly expressed my opinions towards transgenderism. They're not exactly positive, and, like with Drace's crass wording, I feel it's more of a physical thing with no real alteration of the person underneath, making it worthless. If you're open to accepting mixed views, this one's mine: Don't do it. Until medical science finds a way to make a functioning man/woman out of a functioning woman/man, it's all just an elaborate game of dress-up that comes off as disingenuous and misleading to those around you. As long as you're physically incapable of being a real man or woman (and your 23rd chromosome pair remains unaltered), you're still the thing you were born as. Once we reach that point (you'll probably have your mind firmly made up by then), feel free to take the plunge. Feel comfortable in your own skin, if that's what it takes, but don't blatantly lie to everyone around you.

[Dr. Ace]

I can paint my face black and tell everyone my name is Ungaga but it doesn't make me any more African than I am now. Stop acting like opinions of Archem and I are medieval because you don't agree. And yes, I used the word mutilation because it will never look and feel like real female genitals. You can change your fenotype but it will remain a male genotype, unless they figure out a way to change your xy chromosomes into xx. And no, I'm not against transgenders, I have an open enough mind to understand that you may feel like your born in the wrong body. During the embryonic stages it is the body that sets on male or female before the brain does, and that sucks if the brain gets it wrong. I just can't agree with mutilating your own genitals to look like some hybrid because you lucked out. It sucks, deal with it.

Edit: Coming back on topic, Zoltar I do mean see a psychiatrist before jumping to rash conclusions. Gender surgery is serious and shouldn't be thought of lightly. Gender change regret is a real and serious issue even though many transgenders will ignore the fact that it exists. Talk with a transgender about this issue, sure, but talk with a professional is more adviced. Figure out yourself before you draw quick conclusions.

[fruckert]

I can paint my face black and tell everyone my name is Ungaga but it doesn't make me any more African than I am now.

what the **** dude
How could that strike you as something appropriate to say?
Also, "I have an open enough mind to understand, but **** them they have to deal with it." Classy.

So, anyways: Zoltar, I hope the main thing you take away from this is to go see a psychiatrist, and talk to people who maybe possibly feel the same way you do. Talking doesn't cost a thing, and if you're not trans, then oh well, at least you know that now. If you are, then you will be talking to somebody who understands you, so there's no real loss in any of these situations other than personal embarrassment.
As Ellie said, surgery tends to be the last step of a very controlled process. It's got a lot of finality, and that scares the people who don't understand it who are making the laws and talking in this thread.

[Meiscool]

Drace is right in the end: the effects are cosmetic. If that is enough for a person to feel more like themselves or who they should be then that's great. However, its not yet possible for a 'complete transformation' to occur, and though his Ungaga analogy may seem inappropriate to you, its right on the money in a realistic sense.

Mutilation is a fine word to use as well. All it means is to have serious damage inflicted. The word itself carries no negative connotation, yet its been perceived that way. Conversion of one type of genitalia to another involves destruction and reconstruction; don't feel so insulted.

[Apex]

This is a decision that will affect the rest of your life. If you are confused, then I would say hold off until you're 100% certain.

If there are others who you care about, and who care about you, you should see how they feel as well.

[Razor]

Yeah, suicide from regretting getting SRS is a big cause of death for transexuals [citation needed] and shouldn't be seen as the ultimate cure.

What we need is some sort of laser we can point at people's heads to make them no longer transgendered. That would be great.

but yeah, OP, I'm sure many a dude have wondered what the ol' tits and vag combo feel like at least once in their life. Maybe you're just curious, maybe it's something more.
give it some time, talk it out on the internet, figure out if it's a phase or what.

then, therapy

[Dr. Ace]

Yeah, suicide from regretting getting SRS is a big cause of death for transexuals [citation needed] and shouldn't be seen as the ultimate cure.

I said nothing about suicide, but yes, regret is an issue. You want citations? You get them:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2640543/Two-thirds-Britons-REGRET-having-cosmetic-surgery.html
http://www.theage.com.au/articles/2003/08/30/1062194758846.html
http://www.sexchangeregret.com/
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21364939
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2783583/Man-10-000-treatment-woman-wants-REVERSE-sex-change-criticises-NHS-lack-psychiatric-evaluation.html
http://www.sodahead.com/living/an-ex-transwomans-story-about-regretting-sex-change/question-3689791/?link=ibaf&q=&esrc=s

To ellie-is: If you actually read what I said you would understand that I'm advising Zoltar to get a psychiatrist not to fix his trans ideas, but to understand himself whether he is trans or not. I'm not telling him to go to a Christian therapist to fix him like he's some dog to be neutered. I'm telling him to get professional help in figuring out what he feels he is. No one is telling him he can't be whatever the **** he wants to be. ****, for all I care he can believe he's Smaug the Tremendous, just get professional help before you save up your money to go to Thailand and chop of your manhood because you wonder how it would be to have a vag.

[zuhane]

Going under the knife is about as permanent as it gets. Not to mention the countless horror stories you hear about
cosmetic surgery going terribly wrong. It's pretty much an end-of-the-road type deal.

It's your body and your life, and you should have total and complete freedom to do what you want with it, but
at least look into all possible alternatives and pick the one which would suit you most.

Also, do you feel comfortable talking with friends or family about the matter?

[Dr. Ace]

Part of it is hormonal, part of it is cosmetic. Stop acting like touched you and blessed you with a magical change. It was surgeons who did a cosmetic operation.

Edit: Also it seems to be a trend in your posts to focus on one thing and ignore the rest. That might be the first source I post, not the last.

[Razor]

People regretting their transition is a thing that happens in such a tiny percentage that it shouldn't even be a thing people talk about, but the media blows it up to enormous proportions (because we live in a society where being trans is seen as a horrible abomination, and what a better way to help keep things that way than to tell everyone about people who thought they were trans but weren't, especially if that's going to be a great argument in order to delegitimize what actual trans people feel?)

shame you left the thread, I would've loved some sources to correct what I've been understanding (and will continue to understand) to be the truth of the situation.

but: ellie is right about at least one thing: this thread is here to help poor confused Zoltar with all the resources and advice we can spare.

Zoltar, buy a dress - it won't help, but it won't hurt.
(this is a joke. unless you want a dress, then frickin' do it, bro)