Charas-Project

Off-Topic => All of all! => Topic started by: MissingName on November 20, 2012, 04:06:32 PM

Title: Perfectly Normal Conversations in the World of Missing Name
Post by: MissingName on November 20, 2012, 04:06:32 PM: Looking through text logs and steam/skype chats, not to mention ordinary dinner conversations, I have realized my perception of "normal conversation" appears to be unusual. A gem came up over this weekend... please note, this is not an isolated incident of "what the hell happened and why is there a textbook stapled to the ceiling."

[Some backstory for this set of conversations: I sent a care package up to my friends B__, J__ and D__ at the old college. The main thing was a set of keys belonging to B__ that found their way into my stuff. Among other things included were a can of peas (which I know they all hate) and a can of roasted silkworm pupae (http://www.suckered.us/images/Curious_Canned_%20Goods_silkworm_pupae.jpg) (as a joke). Apparently hilarity ensued.]

-Weeks earlier. Steam.-

MN: I think I found your keys
MN: The ones you lost during spring break
B__: GIRL YOU SERIOUS
MN: There's a mailbox key, a dorm room key, what looks like a house key all on a Clarkson bottle opener.
B__: GOD DAMMIT LEEROY
B__: WHY THE F*** DO YOU HAVE THEM
MN: I found them in the front pocket of my trenchcoat.
MN: and you know I only usually wore that when we were drinking.
B__: But how
MN: We probably did the whole "YER DRUNK, STOP DRIVING AND GIVE ME THE F***ING KEYS" routine while we were wandering around the woods
B__: ...that's probably exactly what happened...

-Sunday, ~3 AM. Steam.-

D__: I ATE THE PUPAE
D__: AND THEY WERE GROSS
D__: I PUKED
D__: WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THIS

-~11 AM. Texting-

MN: HE ATE THEM?!1?
B__: Yeah, he just woke us up and is making j__ drive him to walmart because he keeps puking now.
MN: uhhhhh
MN: Was he drunk when he ate them or something? I mean, expiration date was fine but seriously. HE ATE THEM.
B__: Yeah, he claims food poisoning. Its his own fault really
MN: 24 hours for food poisoning to incubate. Was he drunk?
B__: Yeah
MN: ...
B__: Dunno bro.
MN: Whole can?
B__: Just a couple. The liquid they were in was dark gray and looked vile
MN: uhhh it was BUG JUICES AND SUCH so yeah it'll look nasty.

-Sometime later-

MN: Make a canned pea beverage. Preferably carbonated and at least 40 proof.
B__: I am going to vomit.
MN: COULD BE TASTY BRO.
B__: NOPE
MN: Still pukin'?
B__: Nah I think he's alive
MN: goddamn larvae. never expected y'all to actually eat them...

Moral of the story kids: Don't drink or you'll end up puking bug chunks everywhere.
Title: Re: Perfectly Normal Conversations in the World of Missing Name
Post by: drenrin2120 on November 21, 2012, 04:06:00 PM: Uhh... well then! Where does one purchase a can of roasted silkworm pupae?
Title: Re: Perfectly Normal Conversations in the World of Missing Name
Post by: Archem on November 21, 2012, 05:19:06 PM: You guys are pretty normal, but your IQs seem a bit low.
Title: Re: Perfectly Normal Conversations in the World of Missing Name
Post by: MissingName on November 21, 2012, 07:48:21 PM: Quote from: drenrin2120 on November 21, 2012, 04:06:00 PM
Uhh... well then! Where does one purchase a can of roasted silkworm pupae?

Your neighborhood Korean market. Next to the canned mango and lychee.

Quote from: Archem on November 21, 2012, 05:19:06 PM
You guys are pretty normal, but your IQs seem a bit low.
Quite. Add in liquor and it drops down to "Potato."
Title: Re: Perfectly Normal Conversations in the World of Missing Name
Post by: Archem on November 21, 2012, 07:53:34 PM: I figured "potato" was a decent starting-off point...
Title: Re: Perfectly Normal Conversations in the World of Missing Name
Post by: drenrin2120 on November 21, 2012, 08:02:37 PM: No offense MissingName, but have you always been such a brodude? xD

Honestly though, these conversation aren't much better then when me and my friends get together.
Title: Re: Perfectly Normal Conversations in the World of Missing Name
Post by: Moosetroop11 on November 22, 2012, 12:39:01 AM: I was gonna say the same as above but didnt want to hurt your feelings :p

On a lighter note, pupae eating is pretty gross.
Title: Re: Perfectly Normal Conversations in the World of Missing Name
Post by: daoman89 on November 27, 2012, 08:34:38 PM: I liked the keys conversation lol.

Mine are a little diffferent from normal people such as:

Me: Yo bitch

Steve: What it is bitch, what's up?

Me: Nothing bitch, how's your bitch?

Steve: Bitching as always, typical things bitches do.

Me: What a bitch. Bitches are good at bitching cause they're bitches, but what can you do bitch?

Steve: Right? Bitches be crazy...

OR:

Me: Yo, what you doing?

Zach: Nothing.

Me: **** you!

Zach: Drew's pissin me off. Won't shut the **** up.

Me: Make him take his damn nursing test, he's killing your mom.

Zach: He only cares for himself. You know that.

Me: Whatever, let's buy some kittens and kill them tonight.

Zach: I thought you didn't wanna go to West Chester.

Me: Need something to do, don't bring sean though, he's too weird out there.

Zach: Yeah he is. "Lemme get that Yak!"

Me: Yeah **** him. We out at 9.

Zach: Oh word?

I'm sure everybody here talks to their friends in weird *** ways too. It makes life better.
Title: Re: Perfectly Normal Conversations in the World of Missing Name
Post by: Felix-0 on November 27, 2012, 08:44:15 PM: Herp All the Derp
Title: Re: Perfectly Normal Conversations in the World of Missing Name
Post by: Archem on November 27, 2012, 09:43:24 PM: I basically make repeated sexual advances towards all of my male friends.

They continue to reject me...
Title: Re: Perfectly Normal Conversations in the World of Missing Name
Post by: Zerlina on November 28, 2012, 04:02:27 AM: So...you just turn 21 or something...?
Title: Re: Perfectly Normal Conversations in the World of Missing Name
Post by: fruckert on November 28, 2012, 04:30:22 AM: This conversation is reminding me of Apples to Apples.
Because every time my family plays it, it's awful.