Delirium: The False Heaven

[LynX]

I won't post everything here right now 'cause I don't have enough time right now and the story isn't really finished yet, but I'll edit this sometimes later. Just tell me what you think about the idea.



STORY:


The story is based around a system of chained worlds named The Ripple, it is a circle made of many worlds. The current world is Number 111. The mainland of this world is an island floating over the Ripple (which looks really like a giant water ripple), with people living inside it, in a place called the Underlands.

The surface of the island is ruled by many evil forces, Krysalis, the Princess of Metal, lives to the north, the Mirage Fortress defends the south and the opposite side of the island(yes, you can get to the opposite side and there's surface too) is ruled by undead armies.

The story will be easier to explain when I post the characters first, so here they are.



MAIN CHARACTERS:


NEOCHRON
Race: Fallen Angel
Weapon: Magic
ORIGIN:
Neochron was once a mighty angel, but he betrayed his gods and was punished for his sins. His hands were chained on a wall and he was left hanging forever. His punishment ends when Prometheus (see below) decides to take him on his goal.


LIZEX
Race: Lizardman Cyborg
Weapon: Fists
ORIGIN:
Lizex was a mercenary elite, he used to be hired on many missions to the surface, until he overestimated his abilities and went to Krysalis' factory on a mission to steal her power source. He was caught and smelted into a cyborg under her command.


GULL
Race: Shade (Human)
Weapon: Two Daggers
ORIGIN:
Gull was sent into 111 by a vortex. His pendant told him to enter it. In the pendant there is a malicious spirit that feeds on human failure, but Gull trusts the pendant. When he came to 111, he was turned into a Shade.
In his world Gull was a general human, but because of the sudden change of matter during the transition he lost his own body. He was put into a ghost-like body that is bound only by Gull's clothing. He saw the status of 111 and decided to save it from the evil forces that reign over it.


PROMETHEUS
Race: Human
Weapon: Ether Gun (A handgun made from ether metal. This metal can change it's density by the will of it's user, so it can materialize before a battle and vapor away when it ends.)
ORIGIN:

He is the emperor of the Underlands. There is a secret about him why some of the outer forces don't attack the Underlands.



Because I must leave now, I can't finish the storyline now. Probably sometime tomorrow to next week it will be done.

[Meiscool-2]

You should've waited untill you could've wrote the whol story in my opinion. Can't really rate much of anything at this point, but I think, thus far, would would get a better outcome if you had something like the 'ripples' are hitting into one another and destroying the worlds, instead of some evil vs good theme.