La Búsqueda (for those not familiar with spanish it means "The Search")

[Kinslayer]

Well it's the first RPG from a newbie, so I'm doing the best I can...

STORYLINE

It all begins with a history record that goes like this:

Years ago, a great war was happening in the world. The great king of Demons Antilux was destroying everything. The humans and elves had joined forces but yet could not defeat the demons... When the battle was thought to be lost, and the world doomed, the dragons appeared. They said they were sent by the Gods to help mankind and elvenkind to defeat the demon Antilux... Then, the three Great Kings: Eynhar, king of the humans;
Aragul, king of the elves; and Jwerthet, king of the dragons, approached the temple where Antilux remained... Here, a historycal "hole" appears, no one really knows what happened inside of the temple of Antilux, but what is known is that the dragon Jwerthet betrayed the elves and humans and killed Aragul, but Eynhar vanquished the dragon, and using his great powers, he sealed Antilux for all eternity...

Okay, that happened years ago, but now a lot of years have passed:

In a tiny village calle June, a young student called Nitsuga, reads the historycal recors and finds this "hole". The doubts assault him, and he starts to ask himself if the history he and everyone in the world knew from long ago, was truth... When he tells this to the other villagers, he only gets to be kicked from his village for having denied the greatness of Eynhar the hero (he doesn't deny anything, he just says that he wants to see what really happened)...
Then he starts to search the world for proof to find out what really happened in that part of the history, but many troubles and adventures come along the path, and he has to deal with them even if he doesn't want to...


The profile of the main character:

Name: Nitsuga
Birthplace: June Village
Personality: Insecure and a little bit unastable
Class: Guldagor (Elvish dictionary of Tolkien's Silmarillion "Gul": Magic "Dagor": Battle
Title: Student

Ok, I'd like you to tell me if this storyline is good or what.
Thanks for reading.

The Kinslayer.

[CoolZidane]

Please tell me the game is not in Spanish.

[Eternal Newb]

Pretty good....

I'v never seen a story like this before. No offense but seeing how this is your first game i don't think you'll finish it. I would find a better and more developed reason of why Nitsuga is banished from the village because the reason you have now sounds kinda familair...

Good Luck!!

and remember...DON"T STEAL GRAPHICS!!!!!

P.S.

Originally posted by CoolZidane
Please tell me the game is not in Spanish

I don't like the name either

[ENDLESSHEARTX]

For some reason War's are beginning to become popular in the Role Playing Games I read about on this site...even mine....

[Eternal Newb]

can't blame him...

almost all great games have something to do with wars

[MSlash67]

Mine doesn't involve war....oh wait, it does :p

well it sounds like you got a good game goin on there, good luck. can't wait till a demo

[DragonBlaze]

Well it's not bad, but it could use a little work. But its off to a good start.

Well most good games have an epic story that involves the fate of the world. The only two ways I can think of that involve the worlds fate would be to have a person trying to blow up the world or take it over, or have a group of evil people or monsters fighting for controll which would be a war. War is also a good thing to use in games to hide the true plot, because when a war is going on, everyone is concerned with that (like the kings and such) that they don't even notice a bigger problem forming right under their noses.

[SleepAid]

Good for a begginer.

Mine has no war in it. Just involves one guy who is rather pissed off. Being angry is allways a great motivation... Unless the person's perants were killed for not apperant reason.

[Kinslayer]

Originally posted by CoolZidane
Please tell me the game is not in Spanish.

The game IS in spanish, but some parts are in english. That is because of that I needed to use another language for aanother country, to give more mistery to the game, but the thing is that I don't have enough knowledge to create a whole new language. So I decided to normally use my normal language (spanish) for some and use my secondary language (english) for the other guys. Simple.