Something my grandmother from texas sent me.

[A Forgotten Legend]

Only in America......can a pizza get to
your house faster than an ambulance.

>2. Only in America......are there
handicap parking places in front of a
skating rink.

>3. Only in America......do drugstores
make the sick walk all the way to the
back of the store to get their
prescriptions while healthy people can buy
cigarettes at the front.

>4. Only in America......do people order
double cheeseburgers, large fries,
and a diet coke.

>5. Only in America......do banks leave
both doors open and then chain the
pens to the counters.

>6. Only in America......do we leave cars
worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the
garage.

>7. Only in America.do we use
answering machines to screen calls and
then have call waiting so we won't miss a
call from someone we didn't want
to talk to in the first place.

>8. Only in America....do we buy hot
dogs in packages of ten and buns in
packages of eight.

>9. Only in America......do we use the
word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Greek meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

>10. Only in America......do they have
drive-up ATM machines with Braille
lettering.

EVER WONDER

>Why the sun lightens our hair, but
darkens our skin?

>Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

>Why don't you ever see the headline!
'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

>Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

>Why is it that doctors call what they do
'practice'?

>Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you
have to click on 'Start'?

>Why is lemon juice made with artificial
flavor, and dishwashing liquid made
with real lemons?

>Why i s the man who invests all your money called a broker?

>Why is the time of day with the slowest
traffic called rush hour?

>Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

>When dog food is new and improved
tasting, who tests it?

>Why didn't Noah swat those two
mosquitoes?

>Why do they sterilize the needle for
lethal injections?

>You know that indestructible black box
that is used on airplanes? Why don't
they make the whole plane out of that
stuff?

>Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

>Why are they called apartments when
they are all stuck together?

>If con is the opposite of pro, is
Congress the opposite of progress?

>If flying is so safe, why do they call
the airport the terminal?

>------------------

>Now that you've smiled at least once,


It's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle)...in other words, send it to everyone. We all need to smile every once in a while.

[Musha]

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?  Lanolin.

[X_marks_the_ed]

I guess she can use Google.

These have been floating around for decades.

[Cosmos]

"If con is the opposite of pro, is
Congress the opposite of progress?"

Favorite'd

[game_maniac]

Looks like you grandmother likes chain mails. I've seen many of those befores, but America stereotypes never get old.

[Osmose]

I hate those emails with a burning passion.

[Meiscool-2]

*Generic Complaints*