][D][ Demon Slayer ][S][

[I Have a Sandwich]

Man, if I were you I'd seriously rework on the whole thing. Get a solid plan first and give us a killer pitch, don't give us a little then spill the rest.

[Drakiyth]

Originally posted by Ex-Rated
*****UPDATE*****

I willbe making this game, once again, with RMXP! Since I got somebody to rip some files for me!

Also, I re-writ the storyline! Give it another look through if you haven't already!  

Your story has improved a lot.  There is little things you could tweak in it that is not really necessary, but it's a lot better now.  What you just told all the player-base is this Hector kid is now in this city and other kids are far weaker than him at sword fighting.  However, you just cut it off from there.. give us an opening, what in the world happens?  Or, do we just start the game from that point?  Which is what?  We are in a school?  You're doing good, just more detail and less explaining things that are not important to the goal of the story.  

[Ex-Rated]

Originally posted by Drakiyth

Originally posted by Ex-Rated
*****UPDATE*****

I willbe making this game, once again, with RMXP! Since I got somebody to rip some files for me!

Also, I re-writ the storyline! Give it another look through if you haven't already!  

Your story has improved a lot.  There is little things you could tweak in it that is not really necessary, but it's a lot better now.  What you just told all the player-base is this Hector kid is now in this city and other kids are far weaker than him at sword fighting.  However, you just cut it off from there.. give us an opening, what in the world happens?  Or, do we just start the game from that point?  Which is what?  We are in a school?  You're doing good, just more detail and less explaining things that are not important to the goal of the story.  [/B]

Thanks for the tips...

But yeah, you start playing after you leave the school, and start your journey.
At the start of the game you will be in your childhood, just for an intro basicaly.