Squire

[Sqoad]

[GLOW]Hello! This is my new game[/GLOW]

After a little work I have gotten pretty far with my new game!
Right now I call it "Squire" since that was the only thing that could come up in my head except for drawing!
I've made some screenshots and I'm going to tell you what happens in them from the upper left to the lower right(At the end of this message)(And be total honest on what you think, I'll take the lot)

 [SHADOW]Story:[/SHADOW]
Onikashi is from the village of Maple(He was in the first game) is a usually daydreaming on the bench outside his house when his father tries to wake him up.
Onikashi's father tells him that he shouldn't have eaten more food than he could eat. He also tells Onikashi that he have some business in the castle. This makes Onikashi very disapointed and starts whining. Onikshi's father tells him that he should go over and play with his new cute friend (Her name is Zezile) that he met last week. Onikashi likes the idea and walk toward to thw place she lives on. (This is where you have to comtinue the story yourself) On his way he meets up with a beautiful, White haires woman wearing a white dress. She asks him if he could buy something on her list because she doesn't want to show herself to the civilisation. Onikashi decides to help her and will encounter some more or less embarresing moments on his way, But he gets his way thru. Onikashi gets rewarded with an Apple Pie that he saves for later and walk to Zezile's house (Which in in another place called Chapel Street) While in her house Zezile's father invites him for dinner (Which Onikashi wouldn't say no to). While eating Zezile's sister starts asking him questions on what Onikashi feels for Zezile(His answer is up to you) After a little while a scream is heard and everything turns red. Onikashi goes to Zezile's room to find a letter with a small script in it: "I have her in the Chapel". Onikashi goes to the chapel and meets up with some strange living flames and a large monster that tells Onikashi that he's the Fire god Ifrit, Ifrit decides to have Onikashi dead and swings his hands on Onikashi causing mayor wounds, Onikashi faints instantly, But doesn't die. When Onikashi begins to return his consiusness he hears a woman complaining on that she have to take care of someone all the time which later appears to be Onikashi. Onikashi finds himself in a clean and well decorated room that he gets to know as the Mistress's house. He gets to know that he have been saved by a woman name Eoyane(Who is one of the most powerful swordsmen in the world). He meets her for the first time in a beach and gets to know what has happened and what is going on. Eoyane leads Onikashi to a room known as the "Hidden chamber of the Sword" where Onikashi gets to hear that Eoyane is going to train him for seven years, But that he may not do it while he's still awake. Onikashi doesn't understand how that's gonna happen before he gets a herb that will put him in a trance for seven years. Onikashi is forced to eat it and after seven years(Or as he reacts to it, Just a few seconds) He wakes up in a soft bed of one of the finest classes in a room that look wounderful. It later even appears to be a house that belongs to Onikashi himself. But how did this happen? Onikashi thinks for himself. Onikashi finds himself in a town called Cayne. Onikashi finds something in his pocket that looks like a card with descriptions on it, It's what I now call a quest card. Without knowing it Onikashi has promised to help a Fairy girl named Kayla with some relation problems (Here comes a more or less realistic part of the game: Marriage!) Kayla's boy friend(Yokobu) had been gone for a while to get a special object: A wedding ring. Yokomu wants to propose but is to scared because he fears that Kayla would say no. Yokomu asks Onikashi to go and ask for him and Onikashi accepts. (I'm gonna work on a wedding scene soon since Kayla and Yokomu is going to marry each other) Onikashi decides to leave Cayne and explore the world and finds a map under his bed that shoes the way to a town called Darmal. Onikashi belives Eoyane left the note there. Onikashi's journey to Darmal begins and he walk northwest to the mountains to Darmal but meets 1 obsticale: A  huge rock blocking the way...
Onikashi walks back abit and sees a little camp, He decides to go in and ask for another way over when he sees two persons keeping a winged boy(Or earlier called Angel) that's captured and binded. The persons talk about what they are going to do with him when the boy tries to let out a: Help me! But since he's starving only the persons(And Onikashi who stands inside the tent behind them). Onikashi shout at them to let the boy go, But gets to answer the sword. Onikashi wins the battle and walk to the boy. The bow tells him that his name is Jakob(Also from the last game) and that he dislikes humans(Why is a mistery). Jakob lends a helping hand to Onikashi andhe has gotten a new friend beside him.

Characters

 [GLOW]Onikashi Kekoshi[/GLOW]
 [GLOW]Spicie: Human[/GLOW]
 [GLOW]Class: Warrior(Squire)[/GLOW] (The reason of the game name)
 [GLOW]Age: 16 (Later on 23)[/GLOW]
 [GLOW]Personality:[/GLOW] Dumb, Childish, Strong, Mysterius and Powerful
 [SHADOW]Story:[/SHADOW] Onikashi is a mysterius person that knows more things than he thinks, Onikashi can ulike many others speak an ancient language called "Tindervall" without knowing it. Onikashi can fight via using nature elements.
 
 [GLOW]Jakob Wingfall[/GLOW]
 [GLOW]Spicie: Angel[/GLOW]
 [GLOW]Age: 12[/GLOW]
 [GLOW]Class: Magician[/GLOW]
 [GLOW]Personality[/GLOW] Intellegent, Wise, Relieble, Shy and Kind
 [SHADOW]Story:[/SHADOW] Jakob was borned with the gift of Magic and can use it to take down fears foes. Jakob and Onikashi is like  brothers and have sworn to always be together. Jakob came  to the ground to escape his father who tried to force Jakob into becomming a battlemage for the Angel kind. Jakobs only objective is to become strong and prove himself for his own kind what he can do.

 [GLOW]Rei Sumuni[/GLOW]
 [GLOW]Spicie: Elf[/GLOW]
 [GLOW]Age: 17[/GLOW]
 [GLOW]Class: Bowman[/GLOW]
 [GLOW]Personality:[/GLOW] Shy, Cute, Innocently, Kind, Silent and Loves the nature
 [SHADOW]Story[/SHADOW] Rei is a young Elf girl that was captured by bandits at the age of 14 and met Onikashi only after 3 years. Rei immidietly had a crush on Onikashi but still knew that she wasn't going to be so hasty, Since Onikashi might already had a girlfriend. Onikashi told her that he didn't have one but were looking for the girl in his life. Rei joined Onikashi's party to see the world with own eyes and to stand beside her handsome knight in a shining armor(Most promising id Onikashi)

 [GLOW]Crestyad Juggernaut[/GLOW]
 [GLOW]Specie: Half Elf[/GLOW]
 [GLOW]Age: 28[/GLOW]
 [GLOW]Class: Guard[/GLOW]
 [GLOW]Personality:[/GLOW] Aggresive, Strong, Careful, Married, Slow and Intellegent
 [SHADOW]Story:[/SHADOW] Crestyad is a man who was thrown out of the Forest of Mal Huga (The forst of the Elfs) because he was not purely an elf. Crestyad is married and have 2 kids that he does anything for. Crestyads worst fear is that the Elf imperial will order to have him and his family dead because of his outragius story.

 [GLOW]Babia Yakonobi[/GLOW]
 [GLOW]Specie: Who knows? He never tells...[/GLOW]
 [GLOW]Age: About 40[/GLOW]
 [GLOW]Class: Merchant[/GLOW]
 [GLOW]Personality:[/GLOW] Silent, Echovoiced(No one knows why), Large, Scary and dangerous
 [SHADOW]Story:[/SHADOW] Babia is actually evil and only wants power. He joined Onikashi because of his strength and spirit. Babia has and will always be a mysterius guy.

 [GLOW]Zezile Greenhill[/GLOW]
 [GLOW]Specie: Human[/GLOW]
 [GLOW]Age: 14 (later on 21)[/GLOW]
 [GLOW]Class: Cleric, Summoner[/GLOW]
 [GLOW]Personality:[/GLOW] Intellegent, Honest, Powerful, Beautiful, Bright and Relieble
[SHADOW]Story[/SHADOW] Zezile was born with the power of healing magic and summoning fears monsters. She is in love with Onikashi but because she is a prisoner of the mighty god of fire Ifrit, She can ony wait until her beloved one comes to save her from her prison of ashes and flames.

More will come.

This is the screenshots:

Upper left: Onikashi's father wakes Onikashi up and tells Onikashi something important

Upper middle: Onikashi walk towards Zeziles house.

Upper right: Something has happened while Onikashi was eating dinner at Zezile's house

Middle left: Onikashi walks towards to the burning Chapel

Middle: Onikashi meets up with Ifrit

Middle right: While at the beach outside the Mistress's house Onikashi decides to take a look around.

Lower left: Onikashi talks to Eoyane inside the Hidden Chamber of the Sword

Lower middle: Onikashi's face will change depending on how he feel. At this state Onikashi is unsure or worried.

Lower right: Onikashi meets up with Kayla and helps her with her problems. (The charset of Onikashi as adult is still not decided. You can help me out with one if you like)

[lan-the phoenix holder]

ok what is the differece in this game besides the title and when will u have a demo to put

[Rune_of_Punishment]

I'm going to comment on your screenshots. Try to not mix chipsets. What I mean is, don't use RTP chipsets for one map and REFMAP chipsets for another. It's illogical and it makes the game less professional looking. The screens aren't so bad, but they could be improved. Detail is the key to great map making. I'll read your story later, maybe.

[DragonBlaze]

Hmm most of your maps are a bit empty. For example, that top center map, theres just one house, a fence, and a splash of water, the rest it just plain grass. Right now it looks rather bland, try adding more variety to the map such as, a tree, tall grass, bushes, an animal or two, differant shades of grass, a rocks, and/or some dirt. Just add anything that compliments the map, it just takes a little work, but it makes it look a lot better

The middle right pic is a better map because its not so empty, and it has a little variety in it.  

[Rune_of_Punishment]

Couldn't have put that better myself DragonBlaze.

[Moosetroop11]

I agree. And try creating lots of houses so you know which ones work. The houses you have at the moment see a little too small for their windows.

[dragoninja]

I agree too, But the game Is still not finished so he'll probably change that

[Sqoad]

 

I'm going to comment on your screenshots. Try to not mix chipsets. What I mean is, don't use RTP chipsets for one map and REFMAP chipsets for another. It's illogical and it makes the game less professional looking. The screens aren't so bad, but they could be improved. Detail is the key to great map making. I'll read your story later, maybe.

Yeah... I didn't have the ther chip sets when I did the firs maps so.... I'll fix that sooner or later, Thanks for your honesty XD

[Sqoad]

Hmm most of your maps are a bit empty. For example, that top center map, theres just one house, a fence, and a splash of water, the rest it just plain grass. Right now it looks rather bland, try adding more variety to the map such as, a tree, tall grass, bushes, an animal or two, differant shades of grass, a rocks, and/or some dirt. Just add anything that compliments the map, it just takes a little work, but it makes it look a lot better  

Heehee.. i was just lazy and didn't think of it. I'll fax that sometimes.

 

I agree. And try creating lots of houses so you know which ones work. The houses you have at the moment see a little too small for their windows.

Well that wouldcause alot of trouble if I made the houses so you could enter them... I'll try and make the game bit and then add some details. Otherwise I would only forewhat I was supposed to do

[MariaMS]

I think that story is interesting and screens are nice... I agree with the others - less empty screens and more variety. But... on screen with beach I saw one tall chara - it looks a little strange since rest of them is RTP size...
I'll wait for demo

[Eternal Darkness]

I think the games looks really good, Hope you get to finish it

[Sqoad]

'Don't worry about it! I wont give up (That easily)

[Sqoad]

I have made some changes on the maps so that they all match. But I haven't gotten any screenshots of it.

[GhostClown]

I for one love complex maps, so work on that, and I didn't like that little mixture of tall and RTP size characters in the first screen.

[Sqoad]

I wanted it to look more like a fether and son... Other wise it would look like they were brothers...