Short Funny Jokes

[lonewolf]

A blonde and brunette were watching the 6 o’clock news. The news was about a man about ready to jump off a bridge.

The brunette turns to the blonde and says, ” I bet you $50 the man is going to jump.”The blonde replies, “Okay you’re on.” Sure enough, the man jumps, and the blonde gives the brunette $50.

The brunette says, “I can’t accept this money. I watched the 5 o’clock news and saw the man jump then.” “No, you have to take it,” says the blonde.

“I watched the 5 o’clock news too, but I didn’t think he would do it again.”

[Archem]

That made me smile warmly. Too bad the hurricane a-brewin' outside's about to kill my happy.

[lonewolf]

Two college students, Frank and Matt, are riding on a New York City subway when a beggar approaches them asking for spare change.

Frank adamantly rejects the man in disgust.

Matt, on the other hand, whips out his wallet, pulls out a couples of dollar bills and gladly hands them over to the beggar with a smile.

The beggar thanks him kindly and then continues on to the other passengers. Frank is outraged by his friend’s act of generosity.

“What on earth did you do that for?” shouts Frank. “You know he’s only going to use it on drugs or booze!!!”

Matt replies, “What…and we weren’t?”

[fruckert]

Hehe

[lonewolf]

Did you hear about the woman who was married to a succession of three Microsoft employees and still died a virgin?

Her first husband was in Training, and kept teaching her how to do it herself.

The second was in Sales, and kept telling her how good it was going to be.

And the third was in Tech Support, and kept saying “Don’t worry, it’ll be up any minute now

[lonewolf]

Two fellows have been at the bar now for quite a while, downing several mugs with abandon. They both look at the far end of the bar, in the direction of an unattractive woman who came in a while back.

The first fellow looks back at the second fellow and says, “Ya know, that woman is looking better and better, isn’t she?”

The second fellow takes another look at the woman, then looks back at his friend and says, “well, I guess what they say is true, then, eh?”

The first fellow asks, “Well, what DO they say?” The second fellow answers, “Beauty is in the eye of the beer-holder!”

[Dragonium]

What's brown and rhymes with snoop?

Dr Dre.

[ZeroKirbyX]

Two Jews walk into a bar. Hitler's at the counter.

Doesn't go so well.

[Archem]

What's brown and rhymes with snoop?

Dr Dre.

Lovely.

[fruckert]

There was a rabbit and a bear
They ran into a genies lamp
The genie popped out

He gave them both three wishes
The bear says "I wish the whole world was a forest"
Then he said "I wish all the bears in the world were females"

The rabbit then says "I wish the bear was gay"