Towning Around (tentative title)

[heartybbq]

Okay my game which is well under way is called towning around (though I need a better title badly)
A bit about it: The concept of the game is: you are Zack. Zack's village is destroyed by an evil being (currently named Jack though I'll probably change it). After this Zack follows the Jack. Jack proceeds to cause problems for other towns (setting them on fire, letting monsters loose etc.) Zack must fix these problems then continue the chase till finally it comes down to a battle between the dark nemesis. Along the way Zack meets several PCs who aid him however only Zack enters the last battle (the PCs either leave or get killed somewhere along). So far I've got an intro and the first town (which is Zack's hometown).

I need people's opinions on this. The story needs a bit of reworking and some names and titles need replacing

[Revolution911]

well, as most of u kno, i dont like to be a critic, but thats a rweally "empty" story. and the names reall have to be changed. "towning around"? but im sure itll get better

[MrMister]

Name the monster Charles, so you can call the game
STEALTHY ASSASSIN CHARLES

[Revolution911]

.......lol r u serious?

[cosmo]

If you want this to work you'd need to put much more effort into it, so far this sounds like a bad idea for a story

[heartybbq]

I'll take criticism but really you're just telling me what I already know. Besides, waht I've explained isn't story, it's the concept. The outline if you will. I've basically explained point A and point B. Getting from point A to B will be the story. I asked for some ideas...

[cosmo]

- change the names
- give us something more like who are all those other PC's you'll get, what are their stories, ...
- it's your game so you're the one who's gonne have to create the story

- what are you gonne use, custum gfx/CBS/CMS/...


you haven't given us anything we can work with, if you want help ask for help but without extra information we can't help.

[heartybbq]

Oh well I've decided to scrap what crappy remnants of a game that I had and start afresh. I guess I had unrealistic hopes of starting with a lame idea for a game, not planning any of it and expect decent results. My pplans now are to start work (planning) on a new game using the "steps to success" on the forum

I've decided to call it "The Doomsday Book". The game will be semi-serious centreing around "The Grand List Of Console Role Playing Game Clichés" (http://www.projectapollo.net/text/rpg.html). The Doomsday Book will be an item that the main character receives at the beginning of the game. The book has written in it "The Grand List Of Console Role Playing Game Clichés", so basically it predicts the future. The party will frequently read the book and discover a law which gets immediately implemented. i.e hero reads book, it says his/her village will be destroyed and so it does. The story will eventually wrap up when the party (after defeating the last boss) finally realize that the book itself has been causing all these troubles (giant monsters, evil villains) and destroy "The Doomsday Book)