The Big Emerald 3

[Archem]

BOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!
Archem: Yay! No one ever saw it coming! That wasn't no emerald! 'Twas a bomb made to look like the emerald! I had the real one all along! HEAEGH! err... Ha! But I still think I could use a shower...

[kelpie]

*body parts hook up again like charade from sc2*
Kelpie: WILL YOU STOP BEING mean to me!!!*starts to cry*
i never wanted to hurt anyone......
Archem:...uh....
Kelpie: *gets up*....I guess it didnt work eh?....Just what I suspected....*smirk*....hehe...*takes two emeralds and hits Archem across the face with a bat*......ugh...Im sorry.
Archem: eh....?* twitches*
Kelpie: here have the emerald*friendly smile*....its not a bomb...this ones the bomb* points to an emerald in her hand and walks away*
Archem: well that was nice of her....*looks at the emerald*....hm
Kelpie: i guess i did the right thing*flies up into sky planning to destroy things such as planets and fat people//XD jk!!!*



the  emerald Kelpie gave him was real...not fake nor a boobytrap..

[Archem]

Archem: I feel special! ... But now I have two emeralds... But... how? I don't even know where THIS one came from! Hmm...
Archem flings the "fake?" emerald off a cliff.

[Kinslayer]

ks: Hey Archem!!! Look behind ya!!!

Archem Wha...?

*Kinslayer kicks Archem from behind, grabs the emerald and... like... He runs*

[Cerebus]

Cerebus throw a rock at Kinslayer's leg, wich made him fell and drop the emerald. Cerebus run, grab the emerald and then stop running. '' Why the hell did I do that? ''.
Cerebus throw the emerald back to kinslayer and run away.

[Archem]

Archem: Hey KS! Remember the time I had a trampoline?
Kinslayer: Yeah... I DO remember!
While KS is reminiscing, Archem takes the emerald and disappears... to... behind a big rock.

[Kinslayer]

Ks: What must be done must be done...

Archem: WTF?!

*Archem gets hit by a baseball bat and is left unconcious*

Ks: I have the emerald and... well... I guess I'll eat something... naaah let's better get the hell outta here!!!

[Archem]

Several hours later...
Archem: Ugh... What happened?
...
Archem: My emerald! Oh well. I still have the other... one? Oh no! I threw it away! Into my room... Yay! I'll go get it!
Three minutes later...
Here it be! And it's-a the good, real one, too! See? There's the bar code an' ev'rythin'! Not to mention my current blatent overuse of 'postrophes. I win!

[Kinslayer]

ks: NO WAY!!! THIS EMERALD'S FAKE?! I'll get that Archem guy...

*runs like crazy, crying and yelling "My emerald!"*

Archem: What the...?

*ks punches him, takes the emerald and jumps into a time vortex*

[Archem]

-which sends him back in time to where Dragonium was when the P bucket hit. So Kinslayer's emerald lands in Archem's hands.
Archem: Uh... Good catch?
And since there can only be ONE emerald, Dragonium's emerald moved forward through time up to this point.
Archem: Einstein would be rolling over in his grave if he heard about this...
Dead Einstein: Ach mein Gott, den was Sie gemacht haben?*
Archem: Uh... I don't speak genius... So... Uh... Bye!
Then he runs off with the emerald. And Kinslayer's pants...


*Oh my god! What did you do? (Probably a pretty rough translation.)

[Red XIII]

Red wakes up after a long dream and *for some unknown reason* he has no pants

Red: What in the world could´ve happened to my pants!?!?

*Archem passes by*

Red: Hey, dude, can you give me those pants?
Archem: Sure, take´em.

*while archem is distracted, red puts on the pants, hits him form the back with his Limit Break, and escapes with the emerald*

Red: Great!! I have the emerald. And even better, some new pants!!!!

[Archem]

Archem flies by in his NEW LUXURY AIRLINE EDITION SPORTS CAR/HELICOPTER!!!omfg.
Red: Spiffy.
Archem: Indeed, yon adventurer. Care to take a fly? I have candy!
Red: Ooh I LOVE candy! Especially from strangers!
Archem: And I'm about as strange as it gets, huh?
Red: You bet, mister!
And so, Red XIII gets in the helimacar.
Archem: Now!
Then out pops a level 50ish Cloud from FFT.
Cloud: Cherry Blossom!
Gasp! The ultimate in Limit Breakage! Way to go, Cloud. You just don't let it die, do you? Anywho, Red drops the emerald. So Archem takes it and jumps onto a cloud or something, I guess... Which means... that there's NO PILOT TO THIS CRAZY CONTRAPTION!!! Quick, grab hold of the steering wheel!
Red: Good idea! ... Uh oh...
He took the freaking STEERING WHEEL?!?! NOOOOOOOOOooooo000w00t...
Archem: And that's the end of that "tail"!
You thought you were being witty, didn't you?
Archem: Yes. Yes I did.

[Kinslayer]

Kin steals the emerald from Archem after striking him with a baseball bat and gets the hell out of there.

[Dragonium]

Dragonium: Ah, I see my truck is right on time.

Kin: Uh?

Dragonium: I see my truck is right on time.

Kin: Yes, you already said th -- *Gets reversed over by a truck*

Dragonium: *Picks up emerald* Where were you?

[Kinslayer]

Kin: "I'm down here!"

Dragonium: "Wha...?"

*A molotov bomb explodes at the truck, leaving Drag blind for a sec, while Kin steals the emerald and gets away"