Unamed

[Fortett]

Alright. Story proposal #1:

Story Ideas:
5,000,000 years ago, ancient monks created four elemental keys to lock away a dark and wicked power known as 'Huso', an object that could tear away at the dimensions, time and space, and completely destroy the universe as we know it. Only the powers of earth, air, fire, and water were strong enough to lock it away forever...
Or atleast as long as they could...
 3,566,900 years later:
A dark warlock emerged from the peak and into the cave, holding a piece of parchment. At the end of the cave was a big door enscribed with an ancient writing. He read the enscription on the parchment, and the door opened, with a shrine behind it.
In the four corners were the foor keys, each shooting a locking beam over to the dark matter. He chuckled to himself as he cast a spell, blowing away the four keys, leaving Huso by itself, slowly expanding.
"This," he said, "shall be my ultimate power..."
Ziandre had done what he came to do.

Ziandre (Zee - ahn - dreh) is the main bad guy. XP

[Fortett]

Alright. I've gotten another character done, but I can't log on through my computer. (I'm using my sister's comp) I don't want to log in as Fortet because I'm afrain that if I do, I won't be able to log back on over on mine later. XP
Anyways, the new char is on my comp, but I can give you guys her info.

Name: Lianna (Lee-ahn-ah)
Sex: Female
Age: 16
Bio: At age 13, she ran away from her parents. She had the thought in her head that they hated her. She learned how to use daggers and became an expert lock pick by 14. She meets Vance in a chance encounter - by which I mean, Vance tried to steal from her. The girl has a kind look on the outside, but has a bad attitude and isn't afraid to speak her mind.

Comments so far?

[Fortett]

Alright. Here's her sprite.

And seriously, comments?! On the story or characters? Maybe even my craptastic spriting?!?!?!?! PLEASE!!! I NEED SOME C+C!!!

[xJericho]

there's nothing female on her

[PyroAlchemist]

Looks like a dude with long hair.

[Drighton]

Originally posted by Fortett
Alright. Story proposal #1:

Story Ideas:
5,000,000 years ago, ancient monks created four elemental keys to lock away a dark and wicked power known as 'Huso', an object that could tear away at the dimensions, time and space, and completely destroy the universe as we know it. Only the powers of earth, air, fire, and water were strong enough to lock it away forever...
Or atleast as long as they could...
 3,566,900 years later:
A dark warlock emerged from the peak and into the cave, holding a piece of parchment. At the end of the cave was a big door enscribed with an ancient writing. He read the enscription on the parchment, and the door opened, with a shrine behind it.
In the four corners were the foor keys, each shooting a locking beam over to the dark matter. He chuckled to himself as he cast a spell, blowing away the four keys, leaving Huso by itself, slowly expanding.
"This," he said, "shall be my ultimate power..."
Ziandre had done what he came to do.

Ziandre (Zee - ahn - dreh) is the main bad guy. XP

5mil years is a ridiculously long time. 3,566,900!? Did you just mash your numberpad hoping the result was less than 5mil?

The story is interesting, reminds me of FFV a bit, but choose some realistic dates. a few hundred years, or even just a hundred years, is long enough.

[Fortett]

@xJericho & Pyro: could one of you edit her to make her look more like a girl, but keep the same outfit?

@Drightn: I know. XP I was bored and thre in some random numbers. Will be changed, though. XP

BTW, can anybody give me any ideas on another weapon for another female character? I don't want to re-use the same weapon over and over. XP

[Fortett]

Originally posted by xJericho
there's nothing female on her

Actually, a short shirt and short shorts. I think that's female-worthy, neh? Unless it's a cross dresser... XP o.O
I don't know how to make her more 'female' that she already is. I want to keep her look w/o loosing anything. XP
so, if you can make her more 'female', then go for it. Seriously. I wanna' be able to keep this game alive.

[Fortet]

alright. Vance battle chara set a.
Seriously... Anybody wanna' edit her? Let alone reply?!

[Meiscool-2]

Your main character is supposed ot be a theif right?

Well, A: he has no look of a thief to him
         B: He is wearing what looks like really nice cloths, which i hope you're not just going to cover up that answer with "well he stole those garments.
         C: He has a more kind/gentle feel to his looks rather then a thief, he's not going to be one of those, it's ok if I do something wrong, but if someone else does something wrong it's immoral, kindda guys is he?  

quote:
Originally posted by Fortett
Alright. Story proposal #1:

Story Ideas:
5,000,000 years ago, ancient monks created four elemental keys to lock away a dark and wicked power known as 'Huso', an object that could tear away at the dimensions, time and space, and completely destroy the universe as we know it. Only the powers of earth, air, fire, and water were strong enough to lock it away forever...
Or atleast as long as they could...
3,566,900 years later:
A dark warlock emerged from the peak and into the cave, holding a piece of parchment. At the end of the cave was a big door enscribed with an ancient writing. He read the enscription on the parchment, and the door opened, with a shrine behind it.
In the four corners were the foor keys, each shooting a locking beam over to the dark matter. He chuckled to himself as he cast a spell, blowing away the four keys, leaving Huso by itself, slowly expanding.
"This," he said, "shall be my ultimate power..."
Ziandre had done what he came to do.

Ziandre (Zee - ahn - dreh) is the main bad guy. XP


5mil years is a ridiculously long time. 3,566,900!? Did you just mash your numberpad hoping the result was less than 5mil?

The story is interesting, reminds me of FFV a bit, but choose some realistic dates. a few hundred years, or even just a hundred years, is long enough.

Completly agrees i do

And another thing, WHO THE HELL HIDES THE KEYS IN THE SAME ROOM AS THE CHEST OR DOOR OR WHAT THE HECK IT OPENS? OR RATHER, ALL FOUR OF THEM?- just something to ponder....

Nothing to offend, but if you're anything like me, you'd rather hear bashes for improvement then complements.

[Meiscool-2]

Originally posted by Fortett

quote:

Originally posted by xJericho there's nothing female on her

Actually, a short shirt and short shorts. I think that's female-worthy, neh? Unless it's a cross dresser... XP o.O
I don't know how to make her more 'female' that she already is. I want to keep her look w/o loosing anything. XP
so, if you can make her more 'female', then go for it. Seriously. I wanna' be able to keep this game alive.

Just an idea, but if you add womenly things in like.... breast and a more baby look to the eyes, it might start to look like a girl.

Edit: or better yet, a bracelet or hair ribbon! Or color code, because somewhere girls got the idea that they look better when they wear all the same color.

[Fortet]

@meiscool:
A: He's 17. o.O I'm not editing it. If I do, I have to restart the b-char.
B: Uhh...
Sweatar with t-shirt over it, wearing a vest w/old jeans and some shoes. More like dressed for the cold.
C: No. He's not. He just doesn't have a bad-*** look to him through his sprite. XP

Yes. I take these posts as ways to improve myself. Like my drawings on MSDomain, ZeroKribyX's reply. I took that in deeply and have improved.

I'd gove Lianna brests, but I tried to do that to another female character, and she came out SUPER screwed up. XP

Once again, year numbers are gonna' change. It's just that 1000 and 100 are so overused. XP

Yeah. I just noticed that, too. About the keys in the same room. But he still had to solve what the door said.

Thanks for the criticism. I will take this in and improve.

And for the reply. XP

[Meiscool-2]

Wow, you're like super cool. I don't think i said anything good about what you've done and you still say thanks and don't go balistic on me.

I could try to add tits to the girl, but sometimes I go just a "little" over board when I'm creating female characters. I would do the bracelet and the ribbon too, or at least attempt to.

As for your main character, if he's supposed to be dressed for the cold then that is an approiate look to him, I assumed that it was the normal rpg with grass and deserts and.... you get my drift.

[Meiscool-2]

try this, just added a bracelet, cleavage, and fluffed up her hair a bit. As well as adding a belly button. That kept her basically the same, but with more female looks to her. And yes, give me some credit should you deside to use.