Idiot Signs

[Drace]

There is the old saying that truth is stranger than fiction. How true this is when you realize that some of the dumb things people do, that even a gagman writer for our professional comedians couldn't think some of these up. Here are true stories about some of the dumbest things that people did in the year 2003. All of these people should be required to wear an "IDIOT" sign on their chests when they go out and about in public!
Idiot No. 1 -In Atlanta, a medical student was doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. This woman called in very upset, because she caught her little daughter eating ants. The medical student quickly reassured that the ants are not harmful, and there would be no need to bring daughter into the hospital. As she calmed down at the end of the conversation, she just happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. She was told that she had better bring her daughter into the Emergency room right away. {Here's your sign lady! Wear it with pride}.
Idiots No. 2 -In Seattle, it seems that last year, some of Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747's. They were actually successful in getting it out of the plane and home. When they took it for a float on the river, a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them surprised them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing. {Here's your sign guys. Don't get it wet, the paint might run}.
Idiot No. 3 -In San Francisco, a man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote, "this is a stick up. Put all your money in this bag." While standing in line, waiting, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and would notify the police before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, she told him that she could not accept his stickup note, because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left. He was arrested a few minutes later as he was waiting in line back at the Bank of America. {Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it}.
Idiot No. 4 -A motorist was unknowingly caught in a Chicago automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the mail a ticket for $40.00 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40.00. Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another picture, this time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40.00 fine. {Another sign, although, this guy might be onto something worth thinking about!}
Idiot No. 5 -In New York City a guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash a bag, the robber saw a bottle of single malt scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, "Because I don't believe you are over 21-years old." The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give the liquor to him because he didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 years old, and he put the scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. The robber was arrested two hours later. {Folks, remind me to have more signs printed up after we give this guy his!}
Idiot No. 6 -A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, "Don't anybody move!" When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him! {This guy doesn't need a sign, he probably figured it out himself}.
Idiot No. 7 -It seems this guy in Arkansas wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on videotape. {Oh, that smarts. Give him his sign}!
Idiot No. 8 -In Ann Arbor, Michigan, The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 12:50 A.M., flashed a gun and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down, because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.
Idiot No. 9 -Now I really like this one! As a female shopper exited a Baltimore convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give the police a detailed description of the purse-snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. The thief was taken back to the store and taken out of the police car and told to stand there so they could get a positive identification. To which the thief replied, "Yes sir officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from!" {Now this guy has his own number on his sign}. Please note folks, that these people are allowed to vote!

[Grandy]

 Oh, those things are nothing, you should see what our president is doing here.

[LynX]

Rofl, I like 5 the most.

[Leon_1990]

roflmao!
yeah, no.5 is definately the most idiotic :p

[AsakuraHao2004]

Wow.

[shinotebasiiackh]

I think 1 was the worst. Feeding your kid poison? Jesus..

[Razor]

I liked 4 the most.

[Moosetroop11]

HAHAHAHAHA

[White Dwarf]

lolzorz

[CoolZidane]

5 sounds like something that would happen on the Simpsons.

[LynX]

 

5 sounds like something that would happen on the Simpsons.

So does 3.

[ZeroKirbyX]

I like #3. The whole thing reminds me of the Darwin awards.

[dragoninja]

1 and 5 hehe
can I add one?

[tyia]

I kinda like #6.

[GaryCXJk]

I think the man who won a Darwin Award by falling from a 30 stories high building because he wanted to prove to a group he was showing the building that the windows were secured and couldn't fall out by jumping against the window, in which the window let go, was way funnier than the ones you sum up.