love scars

[Kijuki_Magazaki]

Originally posted by AIAS
what are you all talking about?

We're all supposed to be completely celibate until we become big strong men who have steady jobs.

And as a reward we will get married to a virgin and have heterosexual intercourse in a missionary position dammit! MISSIONARY!

Point being, the world's a mess, sometimes it's best just to take the punches and move on. Things always seem dramatic when you're 16. Everything s tied into fate, or has a meaning. well I have a suprise, it doesn't. Just live life as best as you can the way you think is best.
You'll be fine.

lmao XD

For some reason I found great humor in that. Perhaps I think thats what my brother said once or his friend. I feel the homesick thing

[Darkfox]

I think it's the insane hyperness O_o if we are talking about the same brother XD

[Kijuki_Magazaki]

Oh heavens no XD older brother

Who's a lot like the other one <.<

[Darkfox]

...
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...
...
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*rolls on floor laughing*
I feel sorry for you, I guess your the only brother that isn't like them XD

Big brother: I don't like you, you hate me!
Little brother: Yeah!

XD

[Kijuki_Magazaki]

Well my oldest brother (he's 25) isnt that way

Ironicly however I looked up more to my other older brother (who is 23) the one who kinda hyper too when i was a little kid he was more of a role model for me than my oldest brother, perhaps cause my oldest brother was like me XD

And though my little brother look up to me a lot, he's a lot like my older brother o.O.

Yeah, but i have come to the point that i am the oddball.. in most levels.

So much irony in my brotherhood.

On the topic's matter, I do believe the kind of love being talked about is that one-one love. You know the one that is great when you have it but sucks when you are deprived for it?

Though I never been rejected I have broken up a couple of times, and each time the feeling was stronger, and i try to figure the factors were either the age, the experience/unexperience, or the time. And through the relationships I've had, each factor increased, though I figured I thought it worked backward, it kinda didn't for me, for each I got out of, I felt the absense of love stronger.

So in theory, from my experience, the younger you are the less impact you are gonna feel at being rejected, however the younger you are the stronger the impact will be when you are put down (rejected and put down are different in POV).

Also when you are younger (12-16 perhaps) you have no idea what to call love, however as you grow you figure out because if you looked for it, you are gonna find it.

As how to coupe with it, I know one thing : killing yourself isn't one way. When you are hurt because you are rejected or because you dont your love one to love you back anymore because of whatever reason, it's because you still love him/her, but half that love is absent, meaning your love is not find it's responce. However the feeling of just being able to love at times should be enough to continue living, not because you hope something will happen but because you feel that love still there. To live for the love you feel, even if it hurts, is to really get over it, because overtime, that love that you lived for will become a part of you and not really feel it again. As to how much time it takes, depends on the fellings and willingness.

But I myself don't believe on anything else that'll harm me physically.

I try to let time heal.

[Darkfox]

And as I said, it doesn't have to be a girlfriend, but a good friend, somtimes referred to as a brotherly/sisterly bond. Losing these people hurts leaves an impact that is, actually to be honest, very similar. I mean, you will feel an emptyness, and sorrow.

Face it, it's a person you have grown quite accustomed to. I used to be one of those "Ewww" when hearing such things because when I was younger, I didn't get it, but now I understand it much better.

Just to clarify XD

But it's pretty hard to tell what is stronger. For me, I'm having what is most possibly to be the longest running friendship. XD So I dunno otherwise.

[Kijuki_Magazaki]

Well technically a girfriend or boyfrind IS a friend but that has indeed more how do I say, personal deep bond. WHile as you can share love for your friend mutually, love does find priorities.

[Razor]

There is little like a KijuFox Hijack.

[Kijuki_Magazaki]

Originally posted by Razor
There is little like a KijuFox Hijack.

Oro? o.o

KijuFox... FUSIONHA!

[Darkfox]

O_o

But such a bond (gf/bf) is a bit more unstable. Hm... it's hard to tell O_o

But I know one thing, I don't want to be around when a fight of that type erupts! >_< I've been in the middle of one before.

This woman, for example, in public, yelled on her cellphone and started losing it. O_o And this was at college.

[Kijuki_Magazaki]

It might be so, because sometimes you do and you should give more personal intregance (sp?) than when you do as just a friend. But it happens because you taking a step into someone you'd like to be with you, meaning, you are setting apart risks.

However if a kind of situation arised where a relationship will endanger or conflict my friendships I would have to terminate it. Although the relationship would be more precious to me than my other friends, in mind and heart I can't just put my friends aside.

I know I would be bonded with someone, and the relationship will be my priority, but when that priority by far disregards my friends and doesnt leave me time for them or in some or another deprives me from it, then it's wrong.

Of course obviously that would apply to me as well in the relationship

[Darkfox]

Indeed. This is one of my fears, that what if I did this, and it hurt others? And if I hurt myself, would I be the only one to feel it? Thus it runs confusion within my mind.

[Kijuki_Magazaki]

Going back to he love scars thing, in essence a lot of time when someone is "loved scarred" it's because they been hurt, and they do indeed wonder if the other person is as well going thru the thing. Again is that absense, that feeling you get that is trying to find answers and at times shouldn't be asked. It's the mind that plays with heart most of the time.

In retrospect wondering if the other person is feeling the same is asking for the other person to feel bad, it's conflicting all together because if you love the other person you would want the best of feelings for him/her, but in truth you wonder if you are the only one feeling it. In short it's the selfish aspect of love; once it's been hurt it wonders selfish things unless you know how to take around, which proves difficult at times, which make moods go around.

When you feel emotionally hurt you feel alive but sometimes with a non ongoing reason. I have set in my mind that even if my feelings are hurt is because of those feelings I feel I should keep on living, cause is the one of the main things that make feel... whole? regardless when I know I am not.

[Darkfox]

Also there is the feeling of being alone, even if it is untrue. Thus is part of the mind trickery portion of "love scarred".

"An ever conflicting complex simplicity" XD that saying comes from somewhere O_o

[Kijuki_Magazaki]

That happens when you over prioritize something. When something very wrong that your deeply hurt you'll feel alone, again it goes back to the absense of love. Your love find not it's responce makes you feel lonely when in truth you might not. I've felt that a lot of times, luclky however I have "trained" my mind to snap out of it, because I know it's not real, regardless of how silly it might be, it is kinda serious; lot of people commit suicide cause they feel they have no one more.