Make a wish and have it horribly corrupted!

[CrossStrife]

Granted. He's nobody.

I wish I had friends who didn't treat me like ****.

[supasora]

Granted, but they share there drugs with you and you get arrested.

I wish John Brown would say something cool again.

[Fisherson]

Granted, but he's shot by a sniper! ;__; We all morn him at his expensive state payed for funeral.

I wish John Brown had an cult like Dragonium.

[Angel Walter]

Granted. The cult slaughter you for one of their peculiar and extremely sinister rituals.
I wish I had an unlimited supply of pencils, paper, and erasers.

[Fisherson]

Granted, but they're Decepticons and maim your face and beat you up. Now even geeky girls won't have you.

I wish I was infamous Archaeologist who lead a life of mystery and intrigue.

[Musha]

Granted, but you end up like <a href="http://www.geocities.com/cinemorgue2/alfredmolina.jpg>Alfred Molina</a> at the beginning of 'Raiders'.

I wish I had skin as durable as kevlar and bones as strong as solid steel.

[lilsniffs3]

Granted. You are captured and then a-bombed.

I wish my flatbread wasn't so awesome.

[meyvn MaRa]

Granted, now it's not awesome. But you'll get killed by an angry crowd, who liked it awesome.

I wish I'd have a better computer.

[CrossStrife]

Granted. It's too good for you and leaves you for a hacker.

I wish our Marching band would make it to state this year.

[Musha]

Granted, but then your whole state goes deaf, so nobody can hear your marching band play.

I wish drinking blood was socially acceptable.

[Angel Walter]

Granted but Macdonalds copyrights the blood-shake^TM and we all have to pay ridiculous prices!
I wish I could talk to smileys.

[MissingName]

Granted.  Their secrets drive you insane.

I wish this wire splinter in my foot would come out.

[Red Giant]

Granted. You have an openly gay wire splinter. Inside of you.

I wish that fire did not hurt me.

[CrossStrife]

Granted. You die from slipping on ice.

I wish the world would recognize my genius.

[fruckert]

Granted, but you're still pretty stuck up.

I wish for Nintendo to stop licensing out Shovelware.