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Due to the ongoing wars in neighboring countries, a recent rash of illegal immigrants have been caught at the borders of OkenDoken, prompting many citizens to call for tighter immigration laws.3. "Hold on there, hold on people!" says Thomas Broadside of the OkenDoken Broadcasting company, "We don't have to take either extreme, all we have to do is make a TV game show out of it! We put deadly obstacles on the border and monitor it with television cameras! Those that make it across win freedom and citizenship, and those who don't, well, lets just say that our buzzards won't starve. We could call it 'Who Wants to be an Immigrant?'!"
4 hours ago: Following new legislation in OkenDoken, the controversial show 'Who Wants to be an Immigrant?' has become wildly popular.
After a series of bloody wars between the nations of Maxtopia and North Bigtopia, fights have broken out in the streets between immigrants in Frucktopia who came from the warring nations.1: "Foreigners are a major cause of civil disturbances," begins Buffy Broadside, whose opinions form the book '101 Arguments FOR Slavery'. "What we should do is make all immigrants, foreigners, and non-native Frucktopia folks slaves! I mean, who in Frucktopia wouldn't like a minority slave group to do his bidding? Imagine! People could be bought and sold over the Internet!"4: "It's not our war? It's not our war?" cries (in)famous Frucktopia-born fascist Thomas du Pont. "Well maybe it's time it became our war! Frucktopia should take a more active, and by 'active' I mean 'hostile', role in international politics! This ethnic squabbling will be over when the war is over, and WE can end that war and purge the impure! I will kick your arse! Sieg Frucktopia!"
Ellie: I had a slice of ham in my hand. I was going to drop it, so I slapped it hard. It attached itself to the wall
"I don't care what these so-called scientific studies say," says Bill Chicago, representing a number of conservative religious organisations. "How can a boy hope to develop properly into a man if he's being brought up by poofs? A father figure is not supposed to behave as if it is 'okay' to be, um, romantically invested in another man - and the same goes for lesbians! Why? Because it is not okay. It'll just give them gay! Think about it: say you have two gay archems - they can't have children because nature did not provide them with the tools and if God wanted gays to have kids then they would have those tools. Don't legalise this blasphemy! Think of the children!"
The Land of Many Hats has been founded and so far has not exploded. Hat ownership is at an all-time high.
# 12 hours ago: Following new legislation in Land of Many Hats, Land of Many Hats's children are widely acknowledged as the most foul-mouthed in the region.
In a bid to provide a new revenue stream for Land of Many Hats's Beef-Based Agriculture industry, it has been suggested that top hats could be added to the menu.The Debate 1. "The fact is, the top hat population is out of control," says Beef-Based Agriculture spokesperson Miranda Summers. "We have to do something about them anyway, so why not market them as tasty snacks? We could have top hat kebabs, top hat pies, top hat-on-a-sticks--the possibilities are endless! Let's not pass up this golden opportunity to provide a feast, if you will, for our economy." 2. "I agree that something needs to be done about top hat over-population," says random passer-by May Wall, "but eating them? That's kind of gross. Let's just shoot the ones we have to and shovel their bodies into ditches like normal." 3. "I am shocked and appalled!" declared SPCA President Hope Utopia. "If anyone needs to be culled, it's us humans. The top hats were here first, remember? We need to take this as a sign to get our industry--agriculture in particular--to back off. The top hat is part of what makes Land of Many Hats a great nation!"
