Hai

[carmen]

hey all, thanks.

yeah, I don't remember some of you.
lol

"I come to eat all ur threads rawr!"

*cracks whip*

Dominatrix style. :3

but for reals, I'll probably be posting till I leave baltimore in a couple weeks.
I have no internets at home. Good, to see you too, Darkfox. And I'm pretty sure I remember seing you
around dren!

*hand on hips*

This place is SO BLUE!

[Ben]

Carmen!

[Uberpwn_w00t]

Oh yeah. I know about you from perusing through Charas' past. You did pretty cool art stuffs.

And now for the obligatory O HAI! LIEK, WELCUM BAK 2 CHARAS.

[carmen]

;3

thanks guys. If anyone wants to contact me via msn, I'll be randomly on and off:

Teflon_Junkie@hotmail.com

[Grandy]

I remember you.
*flying hug*

[carmen]

Alright, I need to get something off of my chest.
As many of you know, there was a lot of drama surrounding me and the global moderator, Ghostclown.   And I   was eventually stripped of my modship. (that I worked damn hard for)
There are a few I know hold a deep hatred for me,and I guess I can't blame them. I had(and still have) a pretty big mouth.
I just wanted to say I'm sorry.
Sorry for my attitude, sorry for my hard core b*tchness. Being the first girl to obtain mod status was alil intimidating, and I thought I had to be the spunky tough as nails character so people would take me seriously. So they wouldn't walk over me. But I guess it back fired and just caused a lot of fear. People I thought were my friends showed up to puplicly smear me. The community I worked hard in for years was now literally outcasting me. It didn't seem logically thought out or democratic. It was more or less a mob. And while it made for drama filled reading, it really hurt my feelings.
I know I've always come off as a hard nose, and have had trouble expressing myself, but that whole circumstance made me cry. And sucessfully kept me away from these forums for years.
So, Like I said, I'm sorry to all those I came off like a B*tch to.
But I'm not and never will be sorry for my actions. I won't get into details(I could go on for pages) but I did the best job I could. No regrets. Would I change something if I could?...yah, I wouldn't of tried so hard to do my job so well. I would of eased up a bit. That's it.
At the time we were a good 25-30 members active in prime time. There were three active mods. FFL, Myself and GC. The new expanded chat filter system only edited new posts. We had to manually edit all the rest, that we had to search in the DB. (god. never again.lol.) It was a lot of work.
I was going through a lot then. An addiction, my astranged father dying, my mother leaving, my grandmother too poor to pay for the house, school was down the drain, lol, I shoulda had a reality show.
But I had no control over my life.

[carmen]

sorry for the double post. Cell phone txt box couldn't hold anymore. o.o

But yah. I didn't have control. over my life, my addiction, anythingin my life, had to move in with my brother(actually my cousin) here in baltimore, just no control...except this place. And I had the chance to keep it perfect, by the book, exactly by the rules. So I kind of obsessed over it, and got defensive about it. I'm sorry for that too.
and for all those I've insulted ( probably a good few) I didn't really mean it, and you probably didn't deserve the verbal lashing I gave. I honestly hold no hate, or anger or grudges. I can kinda understand a lot of you positions.  I do however: still hold a lot of hurt. I know I act supreme gothic killer B*tch, but I'm not really. (Im wearing bambi pjs and have to sleep with the tv on)  I'm kinda tipsy and I lost track of exactly what I meant. I'm just sick of being hated. I can't front it anymore. GC may not have a problem with it...but its eaten at me for years.

this community has a lot of years on me. Love you all. *cringe* jk =D I do. fer reals.

[RuneBlade]

I recall the name but being the inactive bitch I always was I probably never interacted with you. Welcome back anyways

[carmen]

yeh. chances are we didn't, unless you  requested something in character creators or started trouble . =)
I was pretty busy. 

I do remember you though.  thankya  7hugsd*

[Archem]

You know that one expression about time and wounds? Believe me when I tell you that nobody here is angry with you. Hell, the only things you've been getting since your return are warm welcomes. Look around; people love and respect you. It's good that you're apologizing for past sins; that shows maturity. Just don't beat yourself up about something so long ago. It's ancient history.

[carmen]

Archem! I rememeber you. If I recall, you've stuck your neck out for me a couple times . =)  thanks

and thankyou for ur words, man. I feel so cheessssyy. lol. but a good cheesy. *huggles* maaybee the martinis talking...mayyybeee not. either way thanks =3

[Ben]

Yeah, charas has a short attention span. I wouldn't worry about it. Lots of stuff has happened since then and its silly to overthink theese things.

[Drakiyth]

Hi there. I obviously don't know you Carmen, but I think it's cool you're back on charas. 

[carmen]

yar. Ims going to try to upload some brand spankin' new complete resources while I'm here.

I've gotten a lot better at spriting.  =3

[Drakiyth]

yar. Ims going to try to upload some brand spankin' new complete resources while I'm here.

I've gotten a lot better at spriting.  =3

Very cool. I get a lot of new blood in here with my crappy game reviews.  I'm also working on a huge project right now.