Charas Dating Stories Thread (Previously "Online Dating")

[Archem]

at the end of the night he decided to take a vow of celibacy.

Yikes, that's worse than turning him gay.

[HackersTotalMassLaser]

Ah. See that's something else that I thought online dating might be hard on; Specific lifestyles.

Like it's probably good for the random general mass, but for like Zerls here, if she's looking for something specific, it might be hard.  Don't give that up though, and be like my friend who hates hockey and keeps going to hockey games with her bf. She's passing through that one phase where you withstand the things you don't like for the sake of moving things forward.

[Zerlina]

Sort of...but I don't feel like "slightly nerdy, motivated, and has their **** together" is really all THAT specific.

Uhm, yeah...well...we really liked each other.  So pretty TLDR, but since you asked...

He invited me to the museum for our first date; I have to say, it's the first time I've ever gone to the museum and not looked too much at the exhibits, because the conversation was much more interesting. We talked about everything from Horkheimer, and misinterpretations of Nietzsche, to whether or not FFVII was a good game. We ended up talking about the things we’ve experienced growing up, our struggles, values, where we made mistakes, and where we made good decisions etc. We spoke about many things that neither of us usually admitted to others - it just felt safe to. It was also the first time I felt I could talk candidly with someone without having to limit my vocabulary, the subject matter, or sensor myself- in fact, I hadn’t realized how much I usually sensor and limit what I say, until I was actually free to speak how I thought... it was an incredible experience. And it wasn’t just me talking and the person being impressed, or replying with irrelevant things because they don’t understand; nor was it me just listening to someone run their mouth off whilst pretending to be interested because they’re cute. He was actually offering new examples, arguments, etc., changing my perception of things, and allowing me to change his views with my arguments as well. Rather than asking contrived dating questions, it seemed like he was actually really interested in hearing what I had to say about complex sociological, philosophical, and psychological topics- you know what? I was genuinely interested in hearing what he had to say, too.
 We shared so many similar views and where we disagreed we were able to effectively debate with each other; I have problems concentrating sometimes when people talk a lot, but I actually found myself genuinely interested in what he had to say. He had plans to meet a friend for a movie afterward, but wanted to talk more, so he invited me along. It was this really unusual feeling- instead of leaving feeling giddy because I was incredibly infatuated with someone, I came home and felt like I had spent a really meaningful evening with an old friend I had known once but hadn’t seen in a long time.
We met up a few days later. He invited me over to play chess and have tea, and we had a really good time again; we were actually equally matched in chess (I was impressed),  and he even figured out, just from what I’d told him about how my Dad thinks, that it was my Dad who taught me how to effectively play. We talked for hours (at one point completely forgetting about the game), and he cooked dinner. Things seemed to be going well, but then the more we talked (we were talking about some of our vices, how we dealt with them, and where we would like to improve), the more it became clear that he had a crucial unresolved issue- when I pointed out what the source of that issue might be, he was actually very reflective about it. Long story short, I kind of helped him realize that before he could love anyone there was one more thorn he’d need to remove. He actually thought about what I said, decided he needed time to work on it, and that to effectively do it, he would go through a year of asteticism. He asked if he could call me in a year; I said okay. Honestly, if it happens that’s great, and if not, oh well!
I was disappointed, but happy for him nonetheless, because I think he is a truly remarkable person that wants to make the most out of life and isn’t afraid to face his demons. I really admire and respect that.
On my end, I feel like I have renewed hope. I’ve never had an experience like that before, and it taught me more about what I want; not just intelligence, but unpretentious intelligence, emotional intelligence, self-reflection, and dignity. I’m just very grateful to have had that experience, because it changed me- I think for the better. 

TLDR: I went on an amazing date, where the guy ended up taking a year-long vow of celibacy at the end. I’m okay with it, though, and am grateful for the experience. 

[Archem]

That sounds... Nice. I doubt I'd be able to keep that up for long, though, as I'm a naturally bashful person with rather limited interests (though I invest very heavily in them), so I'd be unable to keep up a conversation with someone I'd only just met for very long, especially if it's not a subject I'm already well-versed in. I'm a rather well-spoken person with a lot of fun thoughts rattling around in my head, and when in the company of people I know well, the censorship is turned off and I can be downright weird (though I like to think it's in a fun way). You've all seen my antics around here, so you get the picture.

But I guess what I'm saying is, it sounds really nice to find someone who you can connect with that well and that quickly, even if the ending was less than satisfying. I find it hard to reach that level of interpersonal connection even with people I've known for years. Few people really share my views and interests, and I get a nagging feeling that those that do are being a little dishonest. It's too bad that the guy decided to take some time away from the dating world; that sounds like it could have gone somewhere. Have you tried to establish a friendship that isn't necessarily sexually oriented? Dating and looking for a boyfriend is one thing, but establishing a friendship should always be an option, especially if you guys clicked that well.

[HackersTotalMassLaser]

Sounds skiddish to me. How old was he?

[Prpl_Mage]

Well that sounds pretty cool. Sounds like he could've taken the easier route and pay a visit to the good ol' therapist though. If it was that sort of issue.

[DragonBlaze]

I just went on a date with a girl who was 6 years older than me, lives with her transvestite ex's son, and has a son of her own that lives with her husband (yes they're still married). She practices polyamory, meaning she's dating several other people right now (her husband and 2 or 3 girls). She is somehow going to Berkeley for pre-med, but at the same time said she was homeless for a little while in Oakland. Oh, she also was telling me that that she had PTSD, autism, was held captive by some men for a bit, and was admitted to a hospital several times for attempted suicide. I don't think there is going to be a second date.

Your date on the other hand sounds amazing.

[Archem]

All this bullshit.

What the fucking even.

[HackersTotalMassLaser]

Db, isnt all that shyat supposed to be in someones profile before you know going into a date?

[Razor]

Polyamory. I have heard of exactly two cases of that and, spoilers, neither ended well.

[DragonBlaze]

Db, isnt all that shyat supposed to be in someones profile before you know going into a date?

Well I met her on a plane, she gave me a book and then wrote her number in it. Perhaps I need to take another look at online dating so I can figure out all that crazy stuff before hand haha.

[Zerlina]

Maybe we should just convert this into the "Charas Dating Stories Thread" it might be more fun that way XD.

And wow, DB, that really sucks- but was it at least worth the story? Or did she end up doing a bunch of collateral damage as the crazies tend to do?

BTW, I don't know you in real life, but I can pretty confidently say that you don't deserve that; sorry you had to put up with that shittiness.

[DragonBlaze]

Maybe we should just convert this into the "Charas Dating Stories Thread" it might be more fun that way XD.

And wow, DB, that really sucks- but was it at least worth the story? Or did she end up doing a bunch of collateral damage as the crazies tend to do?

BTW, I don't know you in real life, but I can pretty confidently say that you don't deserve that; sorry you had to put up with that shittiness.

Haha sorry, I didn't mean to hijack the thread at all, I just had to give that story as a comparison.

Oh, and it was definitely worth the story. She told me about all of this pretty early on our date, so it's not like she was lying to me or deceiving me about anything, so it wasn't like I was hurt or anything. She did go kinda crazy when I said I didn't want to go on a second date, but that's her other girlfriends' problem now. Luckily I never told her where I lived.

[A Forgotten Legend]

I actually dated a guy I met online for about a month in a half.  He was kinda hipster-ish, seemed to have the inability to gain weight, fit like a mofo and really liked videogames (RPGs specifically).  Probably best relationship I ever had, but he went off to grad school for organic chemistry and he would have been there for 6 years straight with no summer or winter breaks while he got his masters and PhD six hours north of me.  Unfortunately that wasn't really the ideal situation for me so I broke it off since I was going to be in my undergrad for another 3 semesters at least.

Needless to say my friends told me I was slightly insane when they found out I broke up with him.  The awkward thing was he had just broken up with a his girlfriend of 2 years the week before we started dating and didn't tell me until a few weeks in.  That was weird.  That and when he was leaving to go to grad school I went on a vacation I had been planning with friends two years in advance to go 8 hours south.

[Moosetroop11]

Zerl, it's kinda hard seeing you type about how hard it is to find a good date when as far as I can tell you're basically the perfect woman >_>

Interesting dating stories... I dunno! The trouble is I haven't really had any one night stands or anything like that. All my dating stories are too personal to joke about, really

And certainly not as wild as DB's... : p