Charas Pub

[Darkfox]

Darkfox: Meh, just put his brain in and deform him some like Quazi Moto. Then he could become loved by millions and pittied and swing from bells yelling "Santuary!!"

Lightwolf: Do you have any idea how much a belltower would cost!?

Darkfox: Hmmmm... never said it had to be big. Got the shrink ray?

[Razor]

Razor: *walks in* Alright, enough of this.
Red: Hey, you're didn't just walk in, you're over there *points*
Razor: *over there* Shut up! Just because you still have your hand! Now, where did I leave that damned thing? Oh to Hell with it *lops off Drace's hand*
Darkfox: That's the wrong hand.
Razor: Fine. *cuts off Drace's other hand and stitches it on his nub* There we go!
Dragonium: Yar!
Razor: You! Read the posts carefully!

[Dragonium]

Dragonium: Fine! Jeez!

*Picks up Drace's brain off the floor*

Dragonium: Y'know Darkfox, you don't really need your brain to live, do you?

Darkfox: Not as far as I know.

Dragonium: Hmmm...

Darkfox: What?

Dragonium: Y'know Darkfox, it's just a coincidence, but Drace's brain looks, feels and weighs the same as a table-tennis ball.

Darkfox: Yes... Coincidence...

Dragonium: Damn.

[Moosetroop11]

Doctor Hobo: Right, here we go! *Slices up Drace's brain with chainsaw*
Dr Red: What happens now?
Dr Hobo: We put it back together like a jigsaw. Then hope everything somehow fixes itself.
Dr Red: Sounds good. If it goes wrong we can always fake his suicide. We have the technology.
Dragonium: Yar!
*Large weight falls on Dragonium*
Ultros*From rafters*: Fwee hee hee hee hee!
Everyone: Yay!

[Dragonium]

Dragonium: *From underneath weight* You know, that was such a cliche. Everyone always uses that move. Besides, I'm just gonna respawn randomly somewhere in the next three minutes, so what was the point?

*Respawns next to Engelbert Humperdinck*

EH: [Please, release me, let me go...]

Dragonium: Hey, ain't you that geezer with the dodgy name?

EH: [... 'Cos I can't love you, any more...]

Dragonium: You gonna answer the question?

EH: [... Please, release me, let me go...]

Dragonium: Shut up, dammit! *Gets Magnum .44*

*Bang*

*Screams*

Crowd: Security!

*Guards throw him in a big volcano*

Dragonium: I live in a volcano! This is not a problem!

*Volcano turns into a pit full of giant clones of Barney the purple dinosaur*

Dragonium: Damn.

[Moosetroop11]

Razor: Gah! Stupid security! Since when did we have security? And since when was everyone scared of guns?
MT11: Since Dragonium started posting, I guess.
Razor: Oh well, let's watch him drown in a sea of Barneys.

[Grandy]

 Barneys: LETS BE FRIENDS!
 Draconium: STAY BACK! DONT TOUCH ME!!
 Barneys: HUG! *The Barneys jump in Draconium, and hit the head in the wall* NOT FUN! PAIN IS NOT FUN! *Dies*
 Draconium: I'm FREE!
 *The Barneys start to walk, as zombies*
 Zombie Barneys: HuuuuUUUUuuuUUUUuuug......... LooOOOOoooOOOOOoveee.....
 Draconium: Damn.

[Red Giant]

Red: *Thinking* Hmm, Dr. Red can save Dragonium, but how can I transform into my alter ego without anyone seeing me?

Look! Over there!

Everyone: ...
Razor: Red, we all know you're Dr. Red. I mean, you didn't even change your name, you just put Dr. in front of it. And furthermore, you don't actually change clothing when you do it, so...
Red: Oh, I'm sorry sir, *Muffled laugh* I have NO idea what you're talking about! Dr. Red's identity will always *Muffled snort* remain a mystery.
*Nudges Hobo next to him* Heheh, eh? Eh? Heheh.
Razor: Oh for pete's sake, just rescue the guy!
Red: What guy?
Razor: *Crash*
Red: Wow, that was characteristically comical.
Hobo: *Tounge stuck in vending machine slot*

[Dragonium]

Dragonium: *Gets Magnum* Stay back, dammit! *Bang, bang, bang*

Barneys: HuuuuuUUUUUUuuuuuug...

Dragonium: *Gets firesword* Get away from me! *Hack, chop, slash*

Barneys: WeeeEE LOOOooove yooooOOOU...

Dragonium: Aargh! Must... Think... Of something... Funny... To say... That will save me!

Barneys: HhhhhuuuuGGGG!

Dragonium: Look! Michael Jackson!

Barneys: Miiichael isssss OOOOUUR biiiiiiiiiGGEST FAAAAaaaannn... *Turn around and walk away*

Dragonium: Phew. *Walks up to Hobo* Got yer tongue stuck, eh? Here's what ya do, just kick the machine! *Kicks Hobo*

Hobo: Aaaaooow!

Dragonium: Sorry. I'll aim higher. *Kicks machine, it falls on top of Dragonium and Hobo*

Hobo: Ummmph!

Dragonium: Damn.

[Red Giant]

Red: Dr. Hob- Oh, heheh, I mean, Hobo! Are you ok?
Hobo: Muuurghaa!
Red: What? You mean to say that hidden inside this vending machine is the key to the lost aztec's hidden temple and fortune, and that by ordering a coca cola, a sprite and a mountain water in that order, the top of it will open up presenting us with the key that will undoubtably make us the richest men in the world?
Hobo: Muth! Muth!
Red: Let me get this straight. There was Coca Cola in the vending machine and you never told me?!

[Dragonium]

Dragonium: Hmm. Guess it's time for another random respawn.

*Respawns*

Choir: [Actuans interius, actuans interius, Sephiroth!]

Dragonium: Who?

Choir: [Sephiroth!]

Dragonium: Uh-oh, that's not a good thing, is it?

*Sephiroth walks in*

Seph: Let's take back the planet togeth -- hey, who the hell are you?

Dragonium: I'm Dragonium. Who's asking?

Seph: I am Sephiroth. And you are in the way. *Slash*

Dragonium: Ow. Hey, that's not very nice. *Slash*

Seph: Muahaha. I am Sephiroth. Your puny firesword cannot defeat me -- hey, my trousers are on fire!

*Runs about screaming and falls into Life Stream*

Seph: AAAAAAAAaaaaaaahh... *Splat*

Dragonium: *Sits on throne* Ha ha ha.

Seph: *From the very bottom of the Life Stream* Supernova!

Dragonium: Damn.

[Drace]

Drace's ghost: What is this place?
God: This is heaven!
Drace's ghost: So? What must I do now? Celebrate?
God: Don't you talk that way to me!
Drace's ghost: Well I'm sorry, I'll make it good. *Goes sitting on his knees and bends with his arms streched up and down*
Allah! Allah! Allah!
Happy now?
God: That's it! Burn in hell!
*Drace's ghost appears in hell*
Drace's ghost: Maybe a bad idea, but it was worth it.

*Meanwhile*
MT11: Ok, the jigsaw is done. *Puts Drace's brain back and revives Drace*
MT11: *snaps fingers* You alive?
Drace: UGH! No I missed Satan's birthday party! He was taking everyone to Disneyworld Hell version!

[Grandy]

 Grandy: Disneyworld Hell version? I bet its just like ours, but with more guys in fantasies...

[Dragonium]

Dragonium: *Finds himself in the middle of a pit with big high walls* What the...? Where am I?!

Mysterious Voice: Muahahaha. You have entered the Dungeon of Trials. You may not leave until you defeat all the challengers!

Dragonium: Whoa, this place is too random. *Sigh* Fine, what's the first challenger?

Voice: I do not like your tone.

Dragonium: Razor? Red? Drace? Is that you?

Voice: Who are these people you speak of?! Do you mock me, sir?! Prepare to die! Release the shape-shifting android hippos!

Dragonium: What the hell?!

Voice: Fine. Release the invisible guinea pigs armed with machine guns!

Dragonium: *Sigh* This is weird.

Voice: Very well - release the minature psychopathic ninja manatees that can interface with electronic devices!

Dragonium: Shut up already!

Voice: Never, now, prepare to face the radioactive psychopathic chihuahuas powered by atomic energy!

*Several small glowing dogs run out of a hole in the wall*

Dragonium: Damn.

[Darkfox]

Psychosis *Dressed like Kagome* I will use my sacred arr... wait a second... I can just blast things with my mind...

Voice: You shall never receive the Leprecaun!

Psychosis: Isn't that Necronomican?

Voice: *cries*

Psychosis: Baby...

Kijuki: INDEED!