My short stories

[VulcanRaven336]

I love to read and write.
It's a passion for me, I just love it.
When I read I forget about everything and live the life the character is living.
When I write, I just think of different things to write down on a piece of paper.

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[1] "The bad luck chain"

     You are driving down the road, dead tired from driving all night. You are uneable to stop and rest because there is no motel in sight. You enter a dark cold forest. driving down the road you notice a man walking down the road. He looks dead, he has many wounds on his body. You decide to pick him up. You let him in your car, he puts on his seatbelt right away,you cant help but just stare at the guy. He has blood on his shirt and on his face. His forehead looks as if he has been beaten with an iron tube, and some of his teeth are missing. He looks hungry, you decide to share your lunch with him. You watch in amazement as he quickly scarves down his share. You can't help but stare, suddenly you are afraid, very afraid. Why did I pick up a complete stranger? You get a sense of terror and you begin to feel desperate. You start panting, taking in short, quick breaths. You look ahead and Smack! You hit a thick tree. You're forehead crashes through the windshield and you fly out of the car. You fall some distance away from the car, barely concience, you look up. THe guy is yelling t the top of his voice pleading you to help him. All you can do is watch in terror as the guy's flesh burns slowly. You then, faint from the pain and the shock.
You wake up, hours, minutes, or even days later. The car is a smoky mess, there is nothing of the guy left. You start out, heading towards the road. You feel hungry, bloody and scared. you are walking down the road when a car pulls over, and the man inside offers you a ride.
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I like writting, I hope to be a writter some day because I just love writting. I will post different stories now and then on this thread, I hope you guys like them and keep reading them:)

[Drace]

Heehe, the cycle of dead. I've read one of these earlier.
Keep on doing jobs like this.

Edit: Is it ok to post small stories I made?
Cause we could make this like a big collection of stories made by people.

[Dragonium]

Originally posted by FireyLilFox

quote:

barely concience, you look up.

Conscious.

Please don't correct people.

And I love that lil' story. I like those cycle sorts of things.

PS. Drace has a point about posting each others' stories. I like the idea.

[Darkfox]

You need to watch out for bad grammar and spelling. This story sounds familiar too, like a short thing from Fright Night or somthing like that. I will assume you aquired inspiration from somthing such as this.

Btw, using the second person "you" in a narrative is most often a no-no. It makes it sound like one of those little campfire stories told at camps made just to scare the crud out of teen campers.

[GhostClown]

Cool beans.

Originally posted by FireyLilFox

quote:

barely concience, you look up.

Conscious.

Newb, your new, so shut the hell up.

[Darkfox]

Could have been much more original. I can't give it a very high rating... because it's so short and gives so little originality. 2/5

Try putting in a feel to it, feels kinda robotic, if you know what I mean.

[Drace]

I think it was used in The Twilight Zone or something similiar.

[Darkfox]

One of those shows, might have been one of the newer episodes. I cannot remember the episode title but it was somthing similar.

It's not a junk story, but it could use much spruceing up so it don't sound like a little campfire tale. You can do it!

[SleepAid]

Schweett... Sounds like it hurt...

Originally posted by GhostClown212
Cool beans.

quote:

Originally posted by FireyLilFox quote: barely concience, you look up. Conscious.

Newb, your new, so shut the hell up.

GC- 1 newb- 0

[VulcanRaven336]

This story was just a little something I thought of a little while back, I didn't see it in any show or movie, I don't know if any one ever used it before, I just thought of it and kept typing.

Of course! By all means! It would be cool to have a big story thread and have people rate it at the end and stuff. Sounds good, do it by all means!

I guess the third person storytelling doesn't work eh? Ok, I will change that part in other stories and it does make it sound like a campfire story:)

Robotic? everyone has a different feel I suppose:)
You guys embarrassed that NEWB, he deleted his post!

[Red Giant]

Originally posted by VulcanRaven336
barely concience, you look up.

Conscious.

[Darkfox]

LOL!! Red did the same thing FireyLilFox did. So much for your guy's complaints to her.

[Dragonium]

Much as we dare, nobody wants to be the first to call Red a n00b.

[Darkfox]

I dare you! XD! Eh... we are gettin kinda spammy...

[AsakuraHao2004]

I love the story. Awesome neverending chain thingy.

Originally posted by Darkfox
Btw, using the third person "you" in a narrative is most often a no-no. It makes it sound like one of those little campfire stories told at camps made just to scare the crud out of teen campers.

Uhh... WRONG. Third person is the most used writing style. Like "He went to the store." Using "you" is second person. And of course, "I" would be first. Amd yes, I will say 2nd person is a bit annoying to read. It almost forces you to keep using "You". This kind of repetitiveness is usually avoided in literature.

 

Is it ok to post small stories I made? Cause we could make this like a big collection of stories made by people.

Yeah... someone should make a "Post your small stories" thread, because I'd post some of mine. We could have like a book of charas members short stories or something like that...