Seven Gem

[ipoopedontheroof]

~Story:

  There was Max, a 15 kid living in the city. He was popular, cool, good-looking, and rich. He lived a life of luxury and ease. The Reason of Max's fortune, was of the famous Jewelry Stores his father owned around the world. Max had always been known as the richest kid known, and had many friends because of it.
                 One normal day, Max and his girlfriend, Rebeccah, were at his house. Max goes to answer a call, and it's his father. His father wants him to come to the family Jewelry Store nearby because of a diere(sp?) emergency.
                          Once at the store, Max is amazed as he sees that his family's most precious gem had been stolen. The gem had just been bought last month, and was one of the most precious in the world. Max was dumbfounded to hear that there were no clues left, and no suspects.
                       His family soon goes into a deressed state over the next day, so Max obligates himself to investigate. He and his girlfriend go into the store at night and search the place for clues. As Max searches, Rebeccah finds, that on a sharp cut edge on the gem's cut glass case, a single black silver hair is caught.
                         Rebeccah calls Max over to see, and as they pick the            hair up, a black dot appears just behind the case. As they lift and lift, it seemes as if the very seem of the dimension begins to rip.
                            Soon, as the hole gets big enough to fit a horse through, a timid wind starts to flutter Rebeccah's hair. Rebeccah soon realizes that her whole body is being sucked in by the large black hole and screams for Max to stop. Unfortunately, Rebeccah is too late.
                   Max watches with horror as Rebeccah is slowly pulled into the hole's vast gravitational force. He leaps to save her, but is pulled in himself. Black.

                      Light pours in through small slits. It seems to shine through like prying claws..... As Max awakens, he senses a blinding light trying to enter his eyes. He sits up, his eyes still closed, and opens them. Max finds himself in a small room, in a bed, where only the poorest of pigs would sleep...


 To be continued...
               
                     ---------------------------------------------------
     
 Tell me what you think!! Please post all criticisms, compliments, or anything in between. I will post the rest(and maybe some graphics/screenies) soon...


Here are screenies:
Jemini Village

[Hell Angel]

Ooh, one of those "Rich kid's going to learn a lesson about his life, and how he should respect his wealth instead of taking advantage of it" kind of stories... Nice.

I like it. I can't wait for some more information on it. ^_^

[ipoopedontheroof]

Haha.... Wow thanks! It's not exactly that though. Here's more of the story.

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    Max wakes up in a bed. It's warm, but rather lumpy. He wonders where he is.
        Max almost goes back to sleep when he hears footsteps from far away. Slowly comes murmurs and whispers and finally the door in front of his face is opened slightly.
        His curiosity gets the better of him when Max almost falls out of the bed trying to see who is there behind the slightly ajar door, but it is opened fully as he readjusted his balance.
         A man dressed in slightly primitive clothing made his way to Max's bed. "He's awake Boris! He's awake!" He said as a undoubtedly confused expression crossed his face.
      "Where am I and who are you?"
   "I am Jake," Jake points to the old man who had come in after Jake called him, "and this is, Boris. Now where did you come from, Boris said he found you near the ocean on his trip to this town."
      "Yes, you were laying on the ground in a secreet forest clearing I later camped in. I knew you were a child, and I knew I had to help you, so I cared for you until we reached Jemini, where I laid you in this bed to rest and awaken."
     "Really? Last thing I remember-" Max thinks to himself, knowing it would be a bad idea to reveal this information to these strangers. "Well, last thing I remember was falling for some reason, and-and I know for sure I was knocked out. Oh, and by the way, my name is Max."
     Jake spoke, "Well hello Max, I suspect you had fallen off your horse and have a simple case of amnesia. Hopefully you'll heal and find a way home sooner or later."
        With that, Boris gruntingly left the room saying "Bahhh..." to himself countlessly. Max could tell he was disgruntled and hoped it wasn't for the wrong reasons.
      "I guess what would be suitable would be to show you around town. Come...."

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 I hope you like my writing, I won't make all segments like this. I want to make this scene important in my game though.

  Oh yeah, here are some of the things my game will include.

• A CMS
• An ABS
• Many characters
• World Map you can roam freely (almost)
• A great storyline
• Twists and turns in the plot, along with many emotions.

 :viking:

[MrMister]

Wow, amnesia, and getting sucked into a new dimension full of magic and wonder.
That sure is original.

[ipoopedontheroof]

Haha.... thanks. :p

[Dashman]

look on www.wikipedia.org the word cliché and you'll find the following. I don't remember if on games or animation, but ok:

The main character(s):
1.-Go to a parallel dimension where good people are bad, and vice versa or the bad guys have taken the planet, or only strange things happen
2.- Someone gets amnesia
3.- Principal characters always have outrageous hair
4.- The main character or his female friend is abducted and the other one wants to get him back

Anyways, I find it interesting

[ipoopedontheroof]

No one gets amnesia, no one goes to a dimension where good people are bad, no damsel in distress is saved by a hero, and no one has outrageous hair, trust me. You are assuming too much.

[Dashman]

and what about the other hole you mentioned? It moves to another dimension or something as you mentioned. And Max did not remembered what happened before falling. I'll have to agree in the fact that you did not made the damsel in distress or the outrageous hair(it's true, have you seen Dragon Ball or Yu-gi-oh? Both of them have a surreal hair). Hope no ninjas appear too, or that the enemy is a mad bold scoientific or something like that.

[dragon11137]

well it looks a bit differnet from toehr games so i say keep it up... but plz make ur own graphics

[Drighton]

Will Max be on the adventure to recover his family jewels, or to save his girlfriend, who was helping him find his family jewels, from the perils of Alternate Dimensionness?

[ipoopedontheroof]

Hey, ummm I can't post anything today! Sorry.


Thanks for the comments. I know, it's really hard to find time between school for graphics though.


I will probably form a team for this project, so send me a private message if you'd like to join.

[ipoopedontheroof]

If you don't like it don't be a jerk about it. I accept criticisms, but insults are just out of line.


Please, tell me why you think it's funny. And if you just want to waste Alex's and everyone in Charas' money by posting stupid spam, go ahead, it won't be my fault.

[MrMister]

For once, pooptypeuptypants is right.
If you can execute the game all good like, I'll probably play it.

[Nandez]

Originally posted by dragon11137
well it looks a bit differnet from toehr games so i say keep it up... but plz make ur own graphics

PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE make your own graphics!!!!

Dude what is your obsession with original graphics.He doesn't have to use original graphics to make a game good.
Plus original graphics usually suck.

[ipoopedontheroof]

Okay, maybe I'll post some more :p

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   Max quickly befriends Jake as they roam the village and forests around together. Jake is the village blacksmith, and had Max does many jobs for him. As a reward, Jake teaches max a little bowmanship everyday.
      Soon Max learns the new world he's in is called Jemsterik. Many Jemini villagers don't even know of the reaches past the local forest, but Boris has traveled to and fro cities in the far reaches of Jemsterik.
      Max goes to Boris frequently for advice, and one day, he gives Max a book. Boris tells him to read it.
           As Max opens it, he sees it is an elven story book. He finds it hard to read the old text, but he finds a story he loves. The next day, Boris came to Max, and asked him what story captured him the most.
          Max, of course, told Boris of how he read and loved the "Seven Colors". Boris had a satisfied but thoughtful look on his face, and told Max to keep this book.
              As Max progressed in his Bowmanship, Jake suggested a very dangerous proposition. He and Max were to go to the Southern City of Bekalire, and buy new iron for Jake's workshop.
     Of course, being very excited at this offer, Max accepted immediately.....

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To be continued.