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Author Topic: FREEZE! You're under erect!  (Read 5295 times)

shinotebasiiackh

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FREEZE! You're under erect!
« on: March 20, 2006, 09:38:35 PM »
http://www.suntimes.com/output/news/cst-nws-ouch17.html

...Wow.

=====

Before cops threw the book at him, Jakub Fik threw something unusual at them -- his penis.

Fik, 33, cut off his own penis during a Northwest Side rampage Wednesday morning. When confronted by police, Fik hurled several knives and his severed organ at the officers, police said. Officers stunned him with a Taser and took him into custody.

"We took him out without any serious injury, with the exception of his own," said Chicago Police Sgt. Edward Dolan of the 16th District.

Doctors at Northwestern Memorial Hospital reattached Fik's penis Wednesday, sources said. He was listed in good condition Thursday, according to hospital spokesman Andrew Buchanan, who declined to comment further.
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Offline Grandy

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« Reply #1 on: March 20, 2006, 09:42:15 PM »
 0.o GOD what was that!?
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Quote from: Alex
I general I'd say I agree 98% with Grandy's post above.

Offline coasterkrazy

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« Reply #2 on: March 20, 2006, 09:46:10 PM »
OMG! I heard that on the radio show this morning on the bus! Yeah, that's a really weird story... I don't have much else of a comment.
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Offline MSlash67

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« Reply #3 on: March 20, 2006, 10:15:10 PM »
one thought here: WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU CUT YOUR WANG OFF!?!??!
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Offline Desimodontidae

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« Reply #4 on: March 20, 2006, 10:17:59 PM »
Wow......


wow.
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Offline Grandy

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« Reply #5 on: March 20, 2006, 10:20:12 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by MSlash67
one thought here: WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU CUT YOUR WANG OFF!?!??!


 I think he did that so he'd get famous, we all would be surprised by how stupid can this kind of person be.
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Quote from: Alex
I general I'd say I agree 98% with Grandy's post above.

Offline Ruler of the Dark

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« Reply #6 on: March 20, 2006, 10:30:41 PM »
"Hmmm... I don't have anything else to throw at the cops, I know! My penis!"

Seriously now, I don't see the logic in this.  Heck, why not something we have 10 (or 8, whatever you prefer) of, fingers!  Though I guess it depends how big this guy was.  Something heavy enough could be a decent weapon, right?
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charaman

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« Reply #7 on: March 20, 2006, 10:34:37 PM »
I'd do it.
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Offline MrMister

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« Reply #8 on: March 20, 2006, 10:47:55 PM »
There is a surprisingly large eunic internet community.
Horrible. What did he think it would do when it hit a cop? Explode?
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shinotebasiiackh

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« Reply #9 on: March 20, 2006, 10:56:11 PM »
I dunno. It's worth investigation, though.

Donate to fund the national penis impact association!
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Offline Snake Eater

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« Reply #10 on: March 20, 2006, 11:16:12 PM »
Wow....
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Offline Kinslayer

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« Reply #11 on: March 20, 2006, 11:38:44 PM »
Well, I heard some strange stuff on a news channel from here. Too bad that they're in spanish and most of you guys won't understand a thing, but some are:

"Transvestite offers to implant his virgin penis on the cop who castrated him".

"American mutilates his penis trying to sexually penetrate a vacuum cleaner".

"Mad transvestite attacks his couple" (Right after that) "He was armed with a high caliber weapon".

And more.



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Offline Rowan

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« Reply #12 on: March 20, 2006, 11:43:12 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by Kinslayer
"American mutilates his penis trying to sexually penetrate a vacuum cleaner".


I remember hearing about that in school. Apparently some old guy thought it would be sexy to clean the house naked as a wedding anniversary gift for his wife. It turned out as he was vacuuming the floor while he was naked he decided to switch to to the hose part of the vacuum and got his weiner stuck in the hose socket close to where the fan was.. Happy Anniversary Darlin'!
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Offline FFL2and3rocks

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« Reply #13 on: March 20, 2006, 11:46:00 PM »
One word:

o_0
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Offline rush_fan

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« Reply #14 on: March 20, 2006, 11:50:28 PM »
Yep. I think I'll keep mine right where it is....
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