Make a wish and have it horribly corrupted!

[fruckert]

Granted, but now they're overused and become as funny as Carrot Top.

I wish that arthritis didn't exist.

[Tina Branford]

Granted. In its place you get bone-eating parasites.

I wish that I was Muslim, so that when I heroically explode myself in a crowded restaurant, I would get 72 virgins in the afterlife, which I could then sacrifice for some kind of evil ritual that would give me control of both heaven and hell.

[Roland_Deschain]

Granted, except that I've already taken control of Hell, and I kind of like it here. Heaven's all yours though, that place bores me.

I wish for immortality, invincibility, and immunity to getting trapped in inescapable places.

[Uberpwn_w00t]

Granted. Now you're trapped in a place that you can escape... But you don't know how. And you never will.

I wish I could spew silly string from the tip of my tongue.

[Roland_Deschain]

Granted and NOT corrupted because holy crap would I like to see that.

I wish to be Deadpool. With weapons/teleport belt buckle intact.

[fruckert]

Granted, but you're hideous and insane. And because we don't live in Comic Book Land, you get institutionalized.

I wish that ANGRY TICKS FIRE OUT OF MY NIPPLES!
And now that that moment of insanity is done, I wish that pesto didn't hurt in cuts.

[Rahl]

Granted it hurts everywhere but cuts, and lemon juice hurts 2x as much.

I wish for adventure.

[Tina Branford]

Granted. You get an RPG-like adventure, but you have to worry about such necessary things as food, clothing and where to keep all of your stuff... and you can't just kill monsters and get money. You have to kill humans and loot their corpses.

I wish that virtual reality was feasible at home and inexpensive so that we could all play Super Mario Bros. in real life with each other. And you can't die, because it's virtual reality. None of this "body can't live without the mind" Matrix crap.

[Tina Branford]

Granted, you get bishie Sephiroth style hair. And it takes a lot of shampoo and daily brushing to keep it well-maintained.

I wish that Lucas had bishie Sephiroth style hair, only to make him look ridiculous... and like a Brazillian Sephiroth without the leather fetish.

[fruckert]

Granted, no corruption because that's hilarious.

I wish that puppies were more easily trained.

[Deathreaper]

Granted, but they're initially evil and will attack you with what you trained them with.

I wish I had background music

[Tina Branford]

Granted, but the instruments are men of various pitches and accents yelling PENIS at the top of their lungs.

I wish that I could metaphorically surf the Internet.

[Deathreaper]

Granted, but you now you can only metaphorically surf in Ocean water and for kicks, sharks can walk on beaches now.

I wish I could draw.

[_JeT_]

Granted, but that is all you can do. You are in a vegetative state, and all you can do is hold a pencil, and move your hand.

I wish Al Gore really invented the internet.

[Deathreaper]

Granted, but then he'll invent an internet Ozone which 4chan would eat away at, causing a massive melt down of data everywhere... so he tell you, anyhow.

I wish I owned a company