Make a wish and have it horribly corrupted!

[Vlad Shadeu]

( I specified no pay.)
Granted. You now wake up at 2 AM. You are also incapable of sleeping until 11 PM that night.


I wish whenever i needed a piece of information it would be signaled to me by something arbitrary like the layout of alphabet cereal or ticker boards or graffiti or something.

[Musha]

Granted, but all they ever say is "kill them all!"

I wish I didn't have to eat, sleep or breathe.

[fruckert]

Granted, but the sudden deviation from what you've been doing since birth really throws you off, and you go insane.

I wish that modding in Morrowind wasn't somehow funner than playing the game itself.

[supasora]

Granted, but now the actual game is deviod of the fun it once had.
I wish those food portions would stay normal size and not shrink or increase.

[MissingName]

Granted, but now it's made by a dog vomiting into a plastic bag.

I wish my air conditioner won't break down again in the middle of a heat wave.

[Vlad Shadeu]

Granted, it just turns evil and starts emitting heat. It also now cannot be broken or stopped.


I wish i had a piece of paper that knew everything, and i could ask questions to  it and the answers would mysteriously appear.

[fruckert]

Granted, but they don't vanish and it can also read your thoughts, so it quickly becomes cluttered and hard to read.

I wish that I could sleep like a normal person for once.

[MissingName]

Granted.  You just start having nightmares to the point where you don't want to sleep anymore.

I wish cereal wouldn't turn to mush in an instant.

[Musha]

Granted, now it starts out mushy.

I wish I understood why Russian Reversals are funny.

[Hirochi-Zangus]

Granted because I hate that too.

Granted, but people don't understand your jokes, only the extincted race of mole-men on planet Uranus think you're funny.

I wish my belly button would stop hurting!

[Vlad Shadeu]

Granted. Now your entire body with the exception of your belly button hurts.

I wish this was "Ask a dumb question, get a dumb answer" for the next page.

[Hirochi-Zangus]

Granted but the questions are serious and we get serious answers.

I want food.

[fruckert]

Granted. It's still alive, and spawns directly into your mouth.

I wish that everybody in the world would speak a combination of Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone.

[Hirochi-Zangus]

Fruckert, I never wished for food... so you can't corrupt it!

[X_marks_the_ed]

You can't.

I wish that Chicken COULD fly.