Make a wish and have it horribly corrupted!

[MissingName]

Granted.  He was assassinated the day after WWII broke out, meaning the war dragged on for three decades.

I wish my F*CKING LAPTOP WAS WORKING.

[valdred]

granted. now it is working. However, it's mad at you because you said f#ucking and it's deleting all your files.

[supasora]

granted. I put you in my sammich and eat you.

I wish for advil.

[Darrellito]

Granted. But comically, the wish genie thought you said anvil, and dropped one on your head.

I wish I had the Midas touch. But with control.

[HobomasterXXX]

Granted, but everything you touch turns into melted gold, rather than normal gold. boiling hot, melted gold that never sets.

[Cerebus]

You didn't wish anything so you become a furry.

I wish I was God.

[MissingName]

Granted.  You get bored after using the entire world as your plaything.

I wish that my dog wasn't old and pathetic.

[Musha]

Granted.  You can have MissingName's old dead dog.

I wish I could turn garbage into money.

[fruckert]

Granted, it corrupts into Stalin-esque Communism.
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I wish Missing's sig would stop staring at me.

[Darrellito]

Granted. But in an excited hurry from seeing that the world has gone to socialism on the news, you choke on a pretzel.

I wish my hard drive didn't have to be wiped, and I had the other versions of my avatar...

[Darkfox]

Granted, but they are possessed by demons and the ghost of Mark Twain. DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING DID YOU!?

I wish they would not make anymore Starwars.

[fruckert]

Granted. George Lucas takes over Star Trek.

I wish that I knew why I was getting such Mad Lewtz in Borderlands (seriously, two legendaries in a row? I smell witchcraft)

[Darrellito]

Granted. But such knowledge blows your mind. Your a vegetable and a burden on your family for the rest of your life.

I wish some of the older forum games would pick up again, like vending machine or something.

[MissingName]

Granted.  One word, though: BOTS.

I wish we didn't have Daylight Savings time.

[Cerebus]

Granted. For some random reason you decide to visit a mine, which then crumbles on you. Have a happy life stuck there!

I wish I could read people's mind.