Make a wish and have it horribly corrupted!

[Bedinsis]

Granted, but you look obese in it. And there's a large swastika on it.

I wish I had a DS Lite.

[Musha]

Granted, but it has like, five dead pixels and a big-*** scratch across the touchscreen. And someone shoved chewed gum into the cartridge slot.

I wish I had one hundred billion dollars.

[Bedinsis]

Granted, but as you know money isn't happiness. It starts feeling as if life lacks meaning to you, and everything justy feels pointless. At the same time you're invited to all those fancy dinners and people who wants to be your friend.
Sorry, I meant your MONEY's friend. In the end you don't have any real friends; those you had before this wish you have neglected, so they don't want to be near you, they're all in you just for the money. Overtime you grow cynical over these facts, become a loner, and finally dies alone, unhappy.
(I don't know if I went overboard in this reply; if so, please forgive me)

I wish someone would fix my DS Lite.

[Roland_Deschain]

Granted, but then it explodes because the person who fixed it was Osama and he planted a bomb in it.

I wish that I were a vampire with immunity to sunlight.

[Musha]

Granted, but then a vampire hunter stakes you through the heart with a sharpened flaming crucifix that has been soaked in holy water.

I wish I had telekinetic powers.

[Phayre]

Granted, but you don't know how to use them and accidentally rip off your own limbs with you mind. Mwahaha.
I wish my boyfriend was less aggravating.  

[X_marks_the_ed]

Granted, now he won't leave you alone and:
-constantly buys you gifts
-follows you from work up to your house
-sniffs the pit stains on your blouse
-feels the warm spot on your chair
-saves the gum you throw in the trash
-wants to stick your fingers in his mouth
-just basically creeps you out.

I wish my Vulpix could learn Decapitate.

[A Forgotten Legend]

Granted!  But because your Vulpix is a level 31 and you only have the cascade badge,  It doesn't obey and uses Decapitate on you instead.

I wish I wasn't so lazy and would work on A Forgotten Legend.

[X_marks_the_ed]

Originally posted by A Forgotten Legend
Granted!  But because your Vulpix is a level 31 and you only have the cascade badge,  It doesn't obey and uses Decapitate on you instead.

I wish I wasn't so lazy and would work on A Forgotten Legend.

Granted. It sucks.

I wish I could understand how exactly a Vulpix decapitates.

[Bluhman]

Granted, but then it decapitates you.

I wish I could get to level freaking 24.

[HackersTotalMassLaser]

Granted, but you can't play no more cause it explods.

I wish the next poster corrupted this wish.

[X_marks_the_ed]

Granted, the next poster will corrupt your wish.

I wish you would corrupt his wish.

[A Forgotten Legend]

Granted.  The wish explodes in your face.

I wish that making battlecharsets wasn't so tedious.

[X_marks_the_ed]

Originally posted by A Forgotten Legend
Granted.  The wish explodes in your face.

I wish that making battlecharsets wasn't so tedious.

It isn't, so your wish isn't granted.

I wish.

[A Forgotten Legend]

Granted.  You fish because I saw an f instead of a w.

I wish... for a dish.  Then i could eat some pudding. Mmm..