Make a wish and have it horribly corrupted!

[Darkfox]

Granted, they are now EXTREMELY expensive, so much so, that buying one is equal to buying two houses.

I wish I was Johnny Bravo

[Fireflame]

Granted, but you don't change, just your name.

I wish I was a transformer.

[Obvious Sock Account]

Granted.  You're cast as a racist stereotype by Michael Bay.

I wish for a bottle of water.

[schilcote]

You get a bottle of water, minus the actual bottle.

I wish for a water bottle.

[Fisherson]

Granted, you get a melted water bottle.

I wish TF2 had a better plot. :/

[schilcote]

Granted. But now its an MMORPG.

I wish I had a bagel.

[Obvious Sock Account]

Your wish is granted, schizocomb.

I wish The Elder Scrolls 4 had more variety in its dungeons.

[Angel Walter]

Granted. Now, each one is so different, that the game needs 7945.3Gb space on your hard drive!
I wish that my e-mail would stop dying at seemingly random moments.

[MissingName]

Granted.  It routinely fails every 20 seconds, or simply whenever your message is 99% sent.

I wish that I didn't stall reading this book for class.

[blue_emerald777]

Granted, but now you want all the books by the same author. You read them all, get them confused, and get an F.

I wish the PSP Dissidia bundle came with a case for the game.

[schilcote]

Granted, but it no longer comes with the game itself.

I wish that I had skills that might allow me to contribute to society in some way.

[fruckert]

Granted, you are a dredgerman in the 1800's. You fish corpses out of Thames.

I wish that I knew what a Gedrin was.

[schilcote]

Granted. But its such a terrible piece of information that you go insane and spend the rest of your life in a mental hospital being raped and given electroshock therapy.

I wish I had a bagel.

[Darkfox]

You get bagel, but it Soviet Russia so bagel eat you.

I wish there was something decent on TV.

[schilcote]

Granted. It gets absolutely no viewers and the production company that made it goes out of business. Its time slot is replaced by SpongeBob.

I wish pepole didn't think that internet is srs bsns.