TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!

[Archem]

The OLD MAP appears to be rather old. You're not too sure of what it charts out, since parts of it are faded and torn. You suppose it wouldn't matter, anyway, since the decipherable text is mostly gibberish.

[MissingName]

> Shout and offer the GOLD (PAINTED) WATCH to the landlord, passing it off as a FANCY GOLD WATCH.

[Archem]

You try to BRIBE HAROLD with your clearly phony GOLD (PAINTED) WATCH through the DOOR. He doesn't seem to LISTEN, and his IMPATIENCE and RAGE continue to escalate.

[fruckert]

> Quit procrastinating and climb out of the window via the bedsheet.
> First though, move all of the broken glass to in front of the door.
> Ponder why your landlord doesn't have a key. Be sure not to ponder out loud, though.

[MissingName]

> Search for a TABLE and block the DOOR with the TABLE to buy some more time
> Climb down the ROPE and run EAST

[Archem]

You finally manage to get your PANTS on, and you decide that, for whatever reason, it might be a good idea to gather all the BROKEN GLASS near the DOOR. After a little bit of PONDERING, you make your way to the WINDOW where you have your BEDSHEETS tied to your BED, and begin your perilous decent. Almost immediately after you get your entire body outside the WINDOW, you realize that you haven't weighed your BED down, and your EXTREME CLUMSINESS activates. Your BED flies towards the WINDOW, the BEDSHEET tears, and you fall several stories to the ground.

END OF CHAPTER ONE (1)

[Archem]

CHAPTER TWO - THE MEAN STREETS

After your fall from several stories up (and by "several", you mean "roughly two"), you regain your bearings in a DUMPSTER, surrounded by bags of refuse, and a PUMPKIN.

[Archem]

What pumpkin?

[Archem]

You don't recall seeing any pumpkins, especially not in the DUMPSTER.

[Grandy]

==>Check the DUMPSTER for anything.

[X_marks_the_ed]

> Use DUMPSTER as a fort

[Archem]

You SEARCH the DUMPSTER, and you find a few compressed CARDBOARD BOXES near the bottom. You decide to use them to build a FORT in the DUMPSTER to combat the foul odors that surround you. You're not sure which is worse - the garbage, or the rotting PUMPKIN. Either way, it seems obvious that your FORT isn't making much of a difference.

[WarxePB]

> Get inside a CARDBOARD BOX and pretend you're SOLID SNAKE

[Archem]

You begin wandering around the ALLEY whilst hiding inside a CARDBOARD BOX. Some would say you resemble a type of REPTILE. Most would call you an IDIOT.

[fruckert]

> Spontaneously [sic] combust.
> Make a robot with the box.