TEXTVENTURE - Wordplay to the EXTREME!

[Archem]

All this talk about BROKEN KNEECAPS and LOUSY CHILDHOODS tells you that this may be a bad idea. Are you sure you want to see the GAME OVER SCREEN on the first chapter?

[fruckert]

> Examine dwelling.

[zuhane]

> Combine bedsheets together to form makeshift rope ladder.
> Use this on the window.
> Drop onto the balcony of the room underneath.

[Archem]

You take a gander at the lovely little home you've made for yourself. Well, maybe not so lovely. Your BEDROOM is a bit of a mess, but at least you've had the good sense to keep your filthy CLOTHES in the LAUNDRY ROOM. You don't actually have a LAUNDRY ROOM, since you don't own a WASHING MACHINE or DRYER, but it sure sounds better than ROOM WHERE YOU THROW YOUR FILTHY, FILTHY CLOTHING. The KITCHEN is a bit of a mess, but your trusty MICROWAVE OVEN and REFRIGERATOR are perfectly accessible. Your LIVING ROOM, which is where you're standing right now, seems to be in decent working order. You have a WINDOW in your BEDROOM, and in your LIVING ROOM.

You gather your BEDSHEETS from your BED, and tie one end to your BED. You would try escaping out the window, but your WINDOW has a LOCK on it, and you don't happen to be wearing your PANTS.

[X_marks_the_ed]

I was thinking of doing something like this back when I did it in Whoever Posts Last Wins, but I don't have the patience or work ethic for it.

> Go to BED.

[Archem]

You aren't sure of where your WINDOW KEY or PANTS are, so you go to BED, hoping for an EPIPHANY. It never happens. Get your lazy ASS up and LOOK for those somehow essential items!

[Natako]

> Search under BED.

[Archem]

After sifting through the MESS on the floor, you find the bottom of your BED. What an ordeal! You spot a LOCKBOX, a PAINTBALL GUN, and some ADULT LITERATURE (you especially appreciate the POLITICAL COMMENTARY and STOCK TRADING INFORMATION). Sadly, no KEY or PANTS.

Take something?

[X_marks_the_ed]

>Take PAINTBALL GUN
>Take LOCKBOX
>Alchemize PAINTBALL GUN and LOCKBOX

[Archem]

ITEM(S) ACQUIRED:

ONE (1) PAINTBALL GUN
ONE (1) LOCKBOX

You decide aim your PAINTBALL GUN squarely at the LOCKBOX.

ITEM(S) REMOVED:

ONE (1) LOCKBOX

ITEM(S) ACQUIRED:

ONE (1) BLUE LOCKBOX

It's super effective!

[WarxePB]

> Throw BLUE LOCKBOX at LANDLORD

[Archem]

You throw the BLUE LOCKBOX, hereon known simply as LOCKBOX, at the LIVING ROOM WINDOW. Predictably, the WINDOW doesn't break. Those damn BURGLAR BARS you had installed on both sides of the glass are doing their job quite well. Perhaps if you found that KEY and unlocked them, things could start to progress.

[X_marks_the_ed]

>Search OLD PANTS
>Search LAUNDRY ROOM
>Search REFRIGERATOR
>Search LAST PLACE YOU HAD THEM

[Archem]

You wander into the LAUNDRY ROOM and quickly spot an old pair of PANTS. Upon further investigation, you discover a ring of KEYS in the pocket.

ITEM(S) ACQUIRED:

ONE (1) PANTS
ONE (1) KEYS

With this great success, you head over to the KITCHEN and search the REFRIGERATOR. Expired MILK, MOLDY CHEESE, and a few CHEAP BEERS are the only items populating the place. Perhaps you should have gone to the store for GROCERIES the other day.

[fruckert]

> Unlock WINDOW with KEYS