Charas Pub

[Archem]

Glow in the Dark Ninja: What? One of me isn't enough? You greedy bastard!

[lilsniffs3]

Archem: Let's get the bootleg. They probably replaced it with udder crap so no one would see it.
--TWO HOURS LATER--
MT11: Everything is in order.
Grandy: Let me check if they out some virus on the disk when you put it in the computer.
*Everyone follows.
Archem: We should include these in the movie.
Lucas: Yes, yes we should.

[Archem]

How did we get the bootleg? We're still hours away from Phayre's office!

[lilsniffs3]

EBay.

[A Forgotten Legend]

AFL: ...was I asleep?

[X_marks_the_ed]

*injects more morphine into AFL.*

[A Forgotten Legend]

AFL: Whaaa... *snore*

[A Forgotten Legend]

AFL: ...Gah.. *yawn*... Owww... what is that in my arm...

[Meiscool-2]

God damn. This place got really lame. Where's Razor?

[Archem]

He abandoned us. This last page has been full of fail. I see a correlation.

Archem: So... What's going on? Some sort of murder porn?

[Grandy]

 
Grandy: Nay, Razor is over here! *holds a shaving razor* ..... I'm shaving his beard! *points to Razor sleeping in a baber chair, with foam in his mouth*
 AFL: We got shaving cream?
 Grandy: Shaving cream? *looks at Razor* M-M-M-MAD DOOOOOOG!!!
 Razor: *wakes up* Uh? Oh, when, what? I was dreaming I was watching CNN.
 AFL: HE WATCHES CNN?! HE IS MAD!
 *chaos ensues*
 Grandy: Time to call animal control! *dials in a pole phone in the middle of the pub* Hello, is it the animal control? Yeah? MAAAAAAAAD DOOOOOOOOOOG!!! Yeah, huh-uh, huh-uh, yeah, bye. *hangs the phone*
 MIC: Are they coming?
 Grandy: Yeah, but they first have to cure a flu in a giraffe.
 MIC: Great, what do we do until then?
 Grandy: Dunno abou you, but I've got a job to finish. *walks to Razor* So, how you want that beard?
 Razor: *foaming* Oh, just make it clean.
 Grandy: Great, great. What about the hair?
 Razor: Yeah, I guess it's a bit long.
 Grandy: Beard and hair, then. *starts cutting* So... have you seem the game last week?
 Razor: Aye.
 Grandy: I didn't, horrible sport, horrible players, horrible commentarist, horrible judge, horrible fire hydrants. Well, there we are, all clean. *spins chair around, Razor without the fur look just like his old wide-eyed, huge-smile man from his old avatar, still foaming*
 *door busts open, five people wearing equipaments like Ghostbuster's and doing power rangeresque poses jump in*
 People: ANIMAR CONTOROR! *dramatic zoom on each of their faces*
 ACLeader: *mouth out of sync with voice* We herre tooo extermeenatee aneemar treato.
 Grandy: *points to Razor*
 ACLearder: That no koo-razy doggo, that koo-razy human. We extermeenatee aneemar treato, no human treato. ANIMAR COTOROR, AWAY!
 *they dramatically run away, camera zooming on their faces*
 AFL: What now?
 Grandy: I think we must live with Razor like that.
 Razor: Bush is just what the world needs, someone with a strong arm to deal with the scum of the Earth!
 Grandy: Then again....
 AFL: His face is freaking me out, without that hair.
 Grandy: Oh, don't worry, he's a magic wolf. Anytime now...
 Razor: *hair grows back with a FLOMPT sound effect*
 AFL: Then why did you...?
 Grandy: He pays me everytime to cut it again. I suppose it's the madness acting.

[HobomasterXXX]

DWMM: TL;DR
Grandy: Why are you speaking in acronyms?!
DWMM: Erm.... *hits Grandy on the head with a hammer and drags him off into a dark corner*

[Bluhman]

Bluhman: Don't worry, I'm a certified vetrenarian. I shall cure this. Now Razor... How do you feel?
Razor:... Fine, I suppose.
Bluhman: I'm being told that you have... Apparently gone... Ahem, 'mad', as Grandy puts it.
Razor: Well, I don't think so...
Bluhman: Let's see; what country do you hail from?
Razor: Madagascar
Bluhman: Favorite Food?
Razor: Peas
Bluhman: What's the white stuff coming out of your mouth?
Razor: Shaving cream.
Bluhman: What kind of species are you?
Razor: Chocobo.
Bluhman: ..This is very grim indeed.
Grandy: *Wakens from being knocked out* What? What is it?
Bluhman: You have suspected correctly; Razor has gone mad and will need to be put down. *Takes out syringe with euthanasia*
Razor: What is that!? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME?! *Jumps out of barber chair and rips Bluhman's face off.*
Bluhman: Ow.
Razor: YOU... *Pointing at DWMM*, You're with him, aren't you!?
DWMM: Uhh... No. *hits Razor on the head with a hammer and drags him off into a dark corner*
Grandy: Is he dead?!
Bluhman: No, he's just suffering from rabies. And unconscious.
Grandy: Oh, well that's not so bad.
DWMM: Isn't Rabies fatal?
Bluhman: No, but having your face ripped off is, and he doesn't have that ailment... I do. *Dies.*
MIC: Ah... Poor guy.
Archem: Was he even a certified doctor?

[HobomasterXXX]

DWMM: Anyone wanna know what happens in the dark corner?
Grandy: I DO I DO!!
DWMM: *whispers in grandy's ear*
Grandy: O_O

[Meiscool-2]

MIC: Guys, stop scaring Razor.
Grandy: Shhhh, don't blow it Meis, this is too funny.
Razor: What's all this about!?
Grandy: Oh, nothing.
MIC: Grandy, he needs to know.
Archem: I agree. Why should he be afraid of something fake when super AIDS is on the loose?
Razor: Something fake?
MIC: Listen. We secretly installed three soup dispensers, two icecream machines, and fourteen rollercoasters in your mouth.
Grandy: Combined with the magic fairy dust that you naturally salivate, it created an unintentional foaming effect.
Razor: Ah, you tried to turn my mouth into a theme park!
MIC: Yes.
Government Offical1: Unfortunately we are going to have to close down this park.
Archem: Why?
Government Offical2: *Points to Bluhman's body*
Archem: I still don't get it.
Government Offical2: You had a customer die while inside the park, this calls for immediate condemnation.
Razor: You can't close me! I'm a person.
Government Offical1: Oh my lord. This theme park has taken the memories of the victim and now thinks it's a living being!
MIC: No, it's a dog with a theme park inside it.
Government Offical1: You expect us to believe that? That 'thing' doesn't look anything like a dog.
Government Offical2: You're all in cahoots with the theme park!
Razor: But I really am a dog.
Government Offical2: That's exactly what a theme park pretending to be a dog would say.
Government Offical1: I don't buy it for a second.
Grandy: Well, you can't prove a thing so please leave.
Government Offical2: Oh, you want proof huh?
Government Offical1: You there on the ground, did this theme park kill you?
Bluhman: Yes.
Government Offical1: That's all the convincing I need to take him away.