White Reflections

[Eternal Newb]

I made a topic about this in the past but I can't find it. I have only started planning my story and making characters. Right now I wanna hear everybody's criticism and some suggestions. Anyway...here ya go...
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Story
This game is set in the world of Valivirtua. The World is split into seven seperate countries. Each of these countries has very powerful armies and are also scared of who will attack who. Finnally this happens and the two countries are the of Shirisaki, a manufactoring country, and the counry of Tsuruhashi, an agicultrial area. This game takes place during this war. This war was also often referred to as the Nature vs. Nemesis war. The protaginist, Eternal, is a general in the Shirisaki region. The game begins as Eternal is gathering his troops to make an attack on the main trade city of the Tsuruhashi region. The basis was to cut of the supplies they were getting from their allies. The city is split into four squadrons and Eternal and a few troops are taking them over one by one. It was important for them to disable the city completly. As Eternal appoarches the final area, He runs into his arch nemesis. His name is Maboaroshi, and he is his brother. Eternal attacks but is single-handedly deafeted. Maboaroshi begins to steal Eternal's life energy. When he is all but dead, Fai, a strong general and close friend of Eternal jumps in to stop Maboaroshi from killing Eternal. Maboaroshi retreats but leaves a final messeage for Eternal. "The reason you are so weak is, because your hatred is not enough..." With all the troops unorganized, the capture of the city is a failure and Eternal's troops retreat. Eternal wakes up back at camp and is suprised he is still alive. He decides that he wants to become stronger and he decides to abandon Shirisaki to become a mercenary. He only tells Fai when he leaves and that is when the game begins.


Character Bios
During the game, characters join Eternal on missions and such sometimes...these are those characters.
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Eternal

The main character of the story. He is a general of the Shirasaki region. During the take over of Tsuruhashi, a very important trade city, he runs into his brother Maboaroshi. Eternal attacks Maboaroshi and loses horribly. Maboaroshi throws Eternal against a wall and starts draining his powers. Fai, another general dashes in and attacks. Maboaroshi dodges and retreats. Eternal is rushed back to the camp and is treated. Sadly, everything that Maboaroshi had drained is now gone. He decides to escape the war and become a Mercenary. (more story on why later)

Fai

Eternal and Fai were friends since childhood. Eternal was homeless along with Fai. They were taken in by the king of Shirasaki, Ashura. They both became generals of the 58th unit. Fai has always been stronger than Eternal.

Maboaroshi *no pic*

Eternal's brother. Eternal and Maboaroshi were both part of a Dragoon Clan. Maboaroshi was always the quiet one. One day when Eternal came home from school, he found all his family members dead. He came into his home and saw Maboaroshi standing over his parents bodies. The reason why Maboaroshi killed all of the drogoon clan and why he left Eternal to live is all unknown. To this day Eternal has been wanting to capture revenge.

Ritsu

A mercenary that Eternal meets and even teams up with a few times. Ritsu is a loud, confident person. He uses skills he learned from his grandfather as a child. He is also what you might call a con artist.

Sakura

A famous mercenary. She is gifted with the arts of the Showdow Dragon Clan. She is praised mostly because of her looks rather than her skills. The unique way of how she attacks is she channles chakra (internal energy) through her body. She is boastful but can always back it up. She also has a crush on Eternal.

TakutoThe forum could NOT establish a connection to this image: http://img194.exs.cx/img194/5245/takuto2ca.gif

One of the Great Lumberers of the Perugioen War. Used his great axe to cut down trees and even iron for use in the war. He is a real loner. He begins his mercenary work about the same time Eternal does.

MokanaThe forum could NOT establish a connection to this image: http://img232.exs.cx/img232/3900/mokana1ph.gif

Mokana oddly first meets Eternal in his dreams. Eternal Wakes up and is stunned to fond that he is working with her in his next mission. Mokana is cheerful all the time. Whatever happens her motto is to keep a smile. Eternal has a hard time trying to figure if she...it is human...

Syaoran

Syaoran is a very misterious person. Although he is younger than Eternal, he is a hell of a lot stronger than him. He was an orohan. Nobody knows where he came from. He is a clumsy type of person. Eternal eventually helps him figure himself out.

Kurogane

Kurogane is one of those crazy killer types. He only thinks about completing the mission, no matter how many people he must kill. He used to be the strongest in the royal guard that protects princess Tomoyo. He was banished when he killed one of his comrades when he was "In the way"

NegiThe forum could NOT establish a connection to this image: http://img194.exs.cx/img194/4219/negima8ld.gif

Negi is a very stong magic user. He uses magically enchanted cards to attack his enemies. He is the quiet type but is very heroric. His skils are born from the God's Hand Clan. His backround is unknown.

Azumi

Azumi is a very skilled mercenary. She is part of the great Kiribayashi family and her skill definitly own up to her name. She is also Sakura's greatest rival. Azumi is very kind and always keeps a smile. But she can be cold as Ice when she has to be.


Chisame

Chisame is a Junior in high school but oddly enough, she is a mercenary. Kinda like a crush in a dating sim, her crush on Eternal plays kinda like that. Chisame is what you could call a "Street Fighter". He skills are "homemade" and is quite powerful. She is playful but can always get he job done.

ChronoThe forum could NOT establish a connection to this image: http://img189.exs.cx/img189/8064/chrono6ye.gif
Chrono is a dimensional time traveler. He travels from world to world stop "uber-fiends" from destorying humanity in that world. An uber-fiend is a supe powerful monster that is evil. While Chrono is fighting one, He is injured and must use a pistol. Eternal assits him when this happens.

Kiyame

Kiyame is an Archer. No special past or anything. The only interesting thing is that she is an elf. Elf's are creatures that have the same intelligence capabilities as humans do but the only thing is that they possess super hearing, eye sight, and in some cases, strenght. She is a mercenary for her own special reasons.

Mayu

Mayu...scary kinda....Glowing red eyes, Giant Sythe, Good thing she is on;y here to do one thing. The problem is that it's for revenge...ON ETERNAL!!!!!

Setsuna

Setsuna is a student of God's Cry School. She is super powerful and shows Eternal up when they first meet.  Sure she has like a bajillion moves and can slice iron but no prob...

Shizuma

Sadly, not much is known. I really don't know anything about him.
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To add a more interesting part to my game, I wanna let other members be a part of my game. For missions, you guys can be bosses, characters that need help, etc.

anyway...tell me what you think.

 

[MrMister]

Hey, did you draw that title?

[Eternal Newb]

Sadly no...can't draw...

[InsaneJP]

Hey i have that midi!!!....sounds like a good game though...keep up the good work

[Sqoad]

Eternal and his brother "whatever his name was's" story sounds like Sasukes story in most detail (Not that I care) and I wonder if that's where you got it from? I'm not complaining or something and I do like the story (Much better than that super i***t Sasuke)
Keep up the good work

[Leon_1990]

Sounds good, I'll b keepin tabs on this

[Dragonium]

Love your storyline there, sounds good. This could be pretty good.

Keep up the good work.

[Moosetroop11]

I like the way you have so many playable characters. I'm like that too, I get carried away.

Sounds good.

[Eternal Newb]

Thnaks guys...

and the sasuke thing...I got rid of it...gotta think of something else...

some features of my game are a CMS and I've made a lot of B caractersets (sprite-sized)


 To add a more interesting part to my game, I wanna let other members be a part of my game. For missions, you guys can be bosses, characters that need help, etc.

Well anybody interested?

[chocobomaster09]

looks good keep up the good work!

[Eternal Newb]

Thanks...

Originally posted by Eternal Newb
To add a more interesting part to my game, I wanna let other members be a part of my game. For missions, you guys can be bosses, characters that need help, etc.

Well anybody interested?

Well!!! HUH!!! TELL ME NOW!!!

[Big_Duke]

I wasn't really reading so maybe you should use "white Reflection" as the title music.

[Solid]

Nice, i like the way you posted images by the names. it well us more about the charas (a picture tell 1000 words..)

[xJericho]

Syaoran

Syaoran is a very misterious person. Although he is younger than Eternal, he is a hell of a lot stronger than him. He was an orohan. Nobody knows where he came from. He is a clumsy type of person. Eternal eventually helps him figure himself out.


you're using a chara of mine, not forget to credit

[Nandez]

Actually alot of it does remind me of Naruto and there is even a pink haired girl named Sakura.Hmmm I wonder.

But yeh its no doubt you totally ripped of Sasuke!I mean the only two things diffrent is really he doesn't know why his family was killed and that he tells Fai he is leaving.Also that life energy thing but peh other than that its not Eternal's life story isn't original.