Ask a dumb question, get a dumb answer

[Uberpwn_w00t]

It's this big!

why i always have so an hard feeling in my pants at the morning?

[Darkfox]

Because rigormortis set into your legs you damned zombie.

If you have no chimney, how does Santa get into your house?

[Drakiyth]

I heard he actually comes up through your toilet.

How many real gnomes does it take to screw in a light bulb in the 21st century of the earth in the united states?

[fruckert]

Any amount of Blood Gnomes.

James while John had had had had had had had had had had had a better effect on the teacher?

[Drakiyth]

His effect was good.

What would happen if you cut yourself?

[Musha]

Your body would produce endorphins, thereby allowing you to enter a state of temoprary bliss.  You would of course become addicted to  this sensation, and continue to cut yourself all the time until you got an infection and died.

Is it true that it's not gay sex if it's with an elf?

[Drakiyth]

Only if you use natural lubrication like tree gel.

Is it okay to hit people?

[Obvious Sock Account]

Only if Jesus gave it the "Ok".

Why did Morgan kiss me after telling me that love is a weakness?

[Darkfox]

Because she is an alien fembot.

Why doesn't Duke Nukem have a TV series?

[Musha]

Because it would inevitably turn out something like <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YDDHHrt6l4w">this</a>.

Why do <a href="http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main.AmericansHateTingle">Americans hate Tingle</a>?

[Bluhman]

Because the Japanese hated The Dark Knight.

Is David Dent Clark Kent?

[Darkfox]

He's a non Jedi, Jedi who uses a bunch of Dark force powers and has anger issues and hates Twinkies and cream soda.

Why should I care about the Rock's cooking?

[fruckert]

Oh god, it's horrible. Trust me, you don't want it.

Why is it that Oblivion decided all trees are massive squares of texture?

[Drakiyth]

Because your get more girls that way dude.

Why do people hate twilight?

[Musha]

Because it's fanbase consists primarily of annoying bunch of squealing tweens and high-on-their own-estrogen soccer moms, so rather than be ascociated with such an embarrasing crowd, they instead elect to vocally bash it at every available opportunity.

What is under <a href="http://www.psp-themes.net/data/media/3/The%20Incredible%20Hulk.jpg">those purple pants</a>, anyway? Ripped boxers or ripped briefs?