Chuck Norris Facts

[Archem]

I'm sorry, but I don't really find facts to be all that funny. When I crack open a history book, I don't point at a picture and laugh like a retard. Unless I've drawn a guy farting on someone. Then it's crazy-funny.
Oh, by the way, there should definitely be a Chuck Norris smiley. He's just plain awesome.

[Drace]

Chuck Norris, Mr T and who was that last guy?

[RuneBlade]

Anyways stupid Alliance toons with their Chuck Norris spams... I'm in Warsong Gulch and all of a sudden:

Mooseknuckle yells:[Common] il drui ropa ten Chuck
Norris![/B]

You cant actually see Chuck norris if they write it common, but I once saw a guy say "YOU LOSE EVERY TIME" after he ganked me.

And my guild uses Chuck Norris as an officer rank.

[Drace]

I once had an ally say "i lo ve u" to me.

[Archem]

And now, the lapse of topic has completely lost me.

EDIT: Yeah, these're on that site, but they are actually funny. They must be read:

Chuck Norris lost both his legs in a car accident....and still managed to walk it off.
Chuck Norris' smile once brought a puppy back to life.
Chuck Norris floats like a butterfly and stings like a tomahawk missile. At mach 3. In the face.
Chuck Norris had his tonsels removed with a chainsaw.
Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
Chuck Norris was born in a log cabin that he built with his bare hands.
Chuck Norris beat the Sun in a staring contest.

[X_marks_the_ed]

I'm probably the only one in this forum who has absolutely no idea who chuck Norris is.

Funny facts, though.

[rush_fan]

^^holy ****- somebody give me CPR i don't think i am breathing

[Trevlac]

Two things to say to this:

Ecks
Dee

[Grandy]

 I don't remember if those are already on the list, but

 *Chuck Norris isn't God, his existence was already scientifically proved.
 *Last time Chuck Norris played Monopoly, it was October 24, 1929
 *The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer  
 *Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
 *Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.
 *Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72... and they're all poisonous
 *Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
 *Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
 *If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
 *Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
 *The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade
 *Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
 *Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publically claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.
 *Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate
 *The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn
 *In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
 *Chuck Norris is responsible for China's over-population. He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly
 *Chuck Norris invented the bolt-action rifle, liquor, sexual intercourse, and football-- in that order
 *An anagram for Walker Texas Ranger is KARATE WRANGLER SEX. I don't know what that is, but it sounds AWESOME.
 *Using his trademark roundhouse kick, Chuck Norris once made a fieldgoal in RJ Stadium in Tampa Bay from the 50 yard line of Qualcomm stadium in San Diego
 *Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks don't really kill people. They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum.
 *Chuck Norris is expected to win gold in every swimming competition at the 2008 Beijing Olympics, even though Chuck Norris does not swim. This is because when Chuck Norris enters the water, the water gets out of his way and Chuck Norris simply walks across the pool floor
 *The original draft of The Lord of the Rings featured Chuck Norris instead of Frodo Baggins. It was only 5 pages long, as Chuck roundhouse-kicked Sauron’s *** halfway through the first chapter
 *Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."
 *If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.
 *Chuck Norris is currently suing myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
 *Superman once watched an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger. He then cried himself to sleep.
 *Chuck Norris did in fact, build Rome in a day
 *Chuck Norris doesn't play god. Playing is for children.
 *As a teen, Chuck Norris had sex with every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.
 *Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

[rush_fan]

^those aren't as funny

[Grandy]

^ *Nods, but also waves the hand in a way that shows he doesn't really care.*

[ZeroKirbyX]

Steven Segal? Arnold Swarz-a-whatever? Sylvester Stallone? Chuck'd kick all their asses. At once. Without even fighting em.

[Dragoon de Sol]

Since Chuck Norris' birth, roundhouse kick releated deaths have increased 1200 percent.

True:
Chuck Norris has created his own Martial Art.
It is called Chun Kuk Do, meaning "The Universal Way."

[Meiscool-2]

Chuck Norris's sperm can travel through 13 condoms, a brick wall, two football fields, and the 1949 Packers Defencive line to get a woman knocked up.

[shadus]

Chuck Onced owned a forum.But soon died becuase everyone was a nOOb conpared to him.