Make a wish and have it horribly corrupted!

[Obvious Sock Account]

Granted.  Lucas explains it to you and ruins that brief first week or so that the game is actually funny.

I wish my sister wouldn't leave the furnace on after she's left for work, and run the otherwise obvious risk of burning the house down.

[fruckert]

Granted, but your house spontaneously combusts.

I wish Encyclopedia Dramatica would get hacked. Epically so.

[schilcote]

It does, and it gets h4x0r'd s00 b@d that they take it down. The police read this thread and arrest you for h4x0ring.

I wish I was Gordon Freeman.

[Darkfox]

But Gordon Freeman became headcrab zombie and join bad guys and killd by John Freeman who is Gordon Freeman's brother!

I wish I was John Freeman.

[MissingName]

Granted.  Mom has dead and Cumbines start to shooting at hummens belo.

I wish I had a motorsickle that was faster and had gas in it too.

[Musha]

Granted, you get a morotized <a href="http://images.elfwood.com/art/w/i/willy/sickle.gif">sickle</a>, which malfunctions when you switch it on, and chops your hands off.

I wish I had a briefcase full of money, a <a href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/6f/1967GTX.jpg">'67 Plymouth</a> Convertable with a tank full of gas, and the open road ahead of me.

[fruckert]

Granted, but the battery is dead.

I wish that this wish would be corrupted with a mild annoyance.

[Musha]

Granted, you get get a coldsore.

I wish Roger Moore had never been cast as James Bond.

[Darkfox]

Granted, Ben Stein plays him instead... woooow...

I wish Duke Nukem Forever didn't take forever.

[fruckert]

Granted it takes never.

I wish a raven was like a writing desk.

[CrossStrife]

Ummm, granted???

I wish the rumors were true about a second Avalon code game, and that it would be released and have the best storyline and gameplay ever conceived on the DS.

[schilcote]

Granted, but it's coming out on the DS64, which will never come out.

I wish I was a 1337 H4X0R like the people at Team Twiizers.

[Musha]

Granted, you get arrested for piracy.

I wish i understood what the hell Sony was thinkg when they came up with the PSP Go.  No UMD support? WTF?!

[schilcote]

Granted. Unfortunately, to understand such things, your brain was contorted to such a degree that you have to live in a mental hospital for the rest of your life.

I wish for infinite wishes.

[zuhane]

You can, but each time you make a wish, a live chimp crawls out of your face and it's absolutely agonizing.

I wish Ferrero Rochers weren't so expensive.