Make a wish and have it horribly corrupted!

[Cerebus]

Granted.  You are now working the most profitable corner in the world.  Congrats on getting herpies!

I wish I had Modship Status.

[fruckert]

Granted, you accidentally nuke the off-topic forum and the forum dies.

I wish that the time being 2:56:16 didn't amuse me so much.

[Natako]

Granted. You are now stuck in a parallel universe where the time is perpetually frozen at 2:56:16. No one can move and nothing ever happens as the entire world has frozen in place. And you're wearing a suit. God damn it, it's an itchy suit.

I wish I had the super power of invisibility.

[PROGUY]

Granted, but then a car rammed you without knowing your presence. As your corpse remains invisible, you will never get a proper burial.

I wish I wished for something I wished.

[WarxePB]

Granted, but your redundant wish causes you to get hit by lightning.

I wish for a leprechaun.

[Natako]

Granted, but the leprechaun turns out to be an incredibly horny, incredibly gay male stripper leprechaun who is veeeeeeeeery attracted to you...

I wish I had a brain.

[WarxePB]

Granted, but because you're a woman, it still doesn't work

(Kidding of course.)

I wish for a bag of tricks.

[PROGUY]

Granted, but by the moment you grabbed the hat, it electrocuted you.

I wish I know what is RPG Maker.

[WarxePB]

Granted, but that's the only thing you remember.

I wish for fish in a dish.

[A Forgotten Legend]

Granted.  Now you have some puffer fish in a dish.  Good luck with the poison sac!

I wish for some delicious potatoes to eat.

[PROGUY]

Granted, but after eating one you found out the hard way that they contain a sweet-coated poison.

I wish you could never guess my wish.

[fruckert]

What?

I really wish it was november.

[A Forgotten Legend]

Congrats, it is now November 30th of 2020.

I wish I had more food.

[PROGUY]

Granted, but the food you received is infected with an unknown bacteria that can cause many ailments if you eat them. By the time you read this message and you threw away the received food, the rest of your food supply is also infected. Have fun dying.

I wish have money.

[mike08]

Granted, but then some terrorist would cidnap you children, and you would have to give all that money away.

I wish i have beer and Diablo 3 right now.